Dating Thread 139: clowns swiping left to me, jokers to the right...

[Pringlecat]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

I’d agree. Cancelling twice before you meet doesn’t bode well IMO: you gave him one more chance than I would have

Vet that’s amazing, so pleased for you!

@CoverMeLads Yeah, I thought i'd been more than accommodating tbh :)

Morning all.

vet fabulous fabulous fabulous! Its soo cool that you clicked that much. It goes to show when it is right, its right.

love sounds dodgy about Mr Tall, maybe he was a friend of an old iron (wasnt Mr Campervan was it?).

Nothing really to report from the dating scene this end except still seeing FWB occasionally, he is perfect for just now, doesn't demand anything, is easy going and we like each other. Sex remains amazing.

Mr Surf/ski is still in touch but has respectfully given me space as he knows I am up to my eyeballs in stuff, he is keen though and told me he misses me.

For those of you that can remember my Mr Architect saga, I am now nearing completeion of the rennovation, and should be moving in by the end of next week. I have given myself an enormous task by planning a house warming and belated 40th bday party on the 22nd. I had to plan the date well in advance and I have got people coming from the UK so can't cancel. So i will move on Friday, then party Saturday. Once I am settled, I will be downloading tinder again and putting myself out there.

Oh and hopefully mr Professional architect now the work is almost finished will help me with testing out my new kitchen work surface ;) ;) ;)

(or maybe not).

DaffoDeffo - in a completely non-critical way, why do you not want to go out with LoveBombingGhoster?

Just want an opinion would you go on a date with a man who openly admitted to sleeping with a prostitute as little as a month ago.
His argument being he has no partner and wanted sex.
Not sure to go on the date now after that revelation

user. Doubt that was the first time...... Do you really need to ask???

funny thing is I've met up with him before and he's really good company and acts like a gentleman when with me.
Thinking of going on the date just for a night out he's definitely not partner material

user Been there. The guy I met was lovely and good fun too and ultimately upfront about his activity - prostitutes and sugar babes. I am not a prude but for me, the guy crossed my personal boundary. It's very much up to you.

Incidentally, he then also asked if I was interested in an open relationship with him. Basically so he could continue his 'paid for' sexual activity. Not my thing at all.

it's absolutely fine to ask yeahcorvid

I think there is just something about us that wouldn't work as a relationship. We talk every day still, every evening. But I know and he knows the minute one of us is in a relationship that will stop. I think we know it's a gap filler for both of us - it's like a pseudo relationship but isn't one. There is a physical spark between us, a huge one and there is obviously a friendship but I think a relationship needs something more than that and we don't have it. I think I am too open for him - he's used to more wounded women - so my frankness I think takes him back and scares him. That's fine as a friendship or FWB but not as a permanent thing.

What's wrong with me!!? I've just turned down a date with a hot 37yr old. I met him on a night out a few weeks ago. We exchanged numbers but I never expected to hear from him again.
But he got in touch and we've exchanged a few texts. Now he wants a date. I know that he's just looking for a FWB arrangement, which is fine by me. But after a lot of thought, I said no to meeting him.

Why? Because I don't tell my kids if I'm going out on a date. If I ever got into a relationship then I would tell them but otherwise I don't think they need to know. I usually say I'm going out with friends or if it's coffee, then it's a work meeting. But this time it felt wrong to say I was going out with friends when I'd probably be meeting for a drink then going to his house for sex.

What do other people tell their children when they're going on dates, especially if it's lots of first dates?

Depends how old they are Runs

Mine know I am dating so accept that I am going out on dates. I often say I am meeting a friend or work colleague for a drink rather than a date but sometimes no explanation is necessary, I just say I'm out and when I'm due back.

I don't as a rule bring people back to the house when they are there till a lot further down the line. Though dd brings boys back to the house (I would rather she was safe and doing it in the house than anywhere else).

thanks Daffo.

I am so fond of Lovely Friend and I think we're the same (not the same reasons why we couldn't be in a relationship, but yes reasons alongside a real connection and affection). He's not my guy! I have accepted (tried to accept) that if he gets together with someone else I'm off the scene as the lines are pretty blurred - blurred enough that I certainly wouldn't want my bf talking to another woman like he talks to me. (But I think he might see it differently - his ex girlfriend was jealous apparently and used to ask him to unfriend certain women on social media, etc - if he talked to them like he talks to me then I'm not surprised she didn't like it) . I know he's not my guy but I struggle to remember it sometimes because he is so nice to me, nicer than any man has ever been. I have been in my industry for decades, literally, and nearly all that time I had one partner or another. Recently my project was nominated for an award. Lovely Friend texted me throughout the ceremony because he wanted to know immiedately whether I had won or not. I have NEVER had ANY attention from a man for what I do or whether I win anything or not!

I know what you mean YeahCorvid. I think the difficulty for me is that it was him who freaked out first. He couldn't cope with my affection for him. We spoke about it a lot. I am a very straight forward person. He isn't really. And he disappeared off the face of the earth for a few days while he tried to cope with it. At the time I didn't believe it, but I do now as I know him better and can see what happened. So in a way I was forced to deal with it. At that point, I would have gone out with him. But now that this has happened, I know I never could as I would always be thinking about the next time it would happen.

Because of that we are safe in a place where both of us know it couldn't happen. The difference is that he tells the women he is seeing about us because he believes it's such a valuable friendship and he's not willing to lose it if he has a relationship. I'm more pragmatic and can't see how it could continue, in the form it's in now, if he or I was in a relationship. Like you say, you put yourself in the shoes of the other person - I wouldn't like it if my fella was calling some other woman every evening. So I'm not naïve enough to know it won't change.

It's hard though isn't it. And your friend sounds lovely.

Runs - I wouldn't tell my children I was dating because I don't see any reason to, as I don't have a relationship I want to tell them about. I say I'm going out with friends (although it often doesn't come up as I only date really when they are with their dad). I have no qualms about not being entirely honest, certainly about sex dates - I don't believe I am doing anything wrong when I'm doing it, but I also don't believe it would do them any good to know about it.

Daffo - neither of us has ever suggested being the bf / gf of the other but we are both really clear that we are not looking for a relationship and honest about the stuff we do get up to. So that works for us; but I can't help thinking he's going to fall in love with someone else one day. If you want my honest opinion, he's a serial romantic who's on a break from it all (though he thinks he's done with it all) and one day some woman is going to change everything and it's kind of going to break my heart a bit. because I love feeling cared for and looked after and it just can't be like this if he loves someone else

Pudding no, it wasn’t Mr Campervan, I think he could possibly be a friend of someone I met on a hook up site, he got a bit funny with me because I didn’t want a relationship with him (I met him once, didn’t sleep with him). He messaged me the other day and again got funny with me, a few days later Mr Tall appeared, living in the same town, same age and similar hobbies but seemed more intelligent than Mr Hook up, just seems odd. I haven’t chased, just left it.

A old iron has just messaged my on Instagram begging me for a date. He’s very atractive but is vegan, I’m not sure if I’m really his type.

My kids are early teens. Old enough to be left alone for an evening but I like to be home by 10pm for them.
I don't want to say anything about me going on dates but I don't go out much so they would start asking questions if I suddenly had lots of friends I was going out with. They're with me most of the time so waiting until they're with their dad isn't an option.

Mr 37yr old seems very keen to meet me. I'm just not sure I'm so keen on the idea. Just suspicious why he's so keen on someone 15 years older than him.

Ooh Mr Vague But Cute contacted me, he's been away on a stag do and it was lovely to hear from him. He suggested some dates but I'm tied up on all of them and he's busy when I'm free. Welcome to the world of modern single working parents dating!
I have a couple of other irons but I like him best, he's got, we have loads in common and I think we've got similar outlook, lifestyle etc. Hopefully we can find some time but looking like at least a fortnight away!

Lovemusic33 , I'm vegan but not one of the militants. I'd happily date a nonvegan. Maybe it's because I mainly do it for health reasons, maybe check out his 'why' and see how passionate/preachy he is.
I have a friend who's a vegan bloke and I couldn't date him because he never stops ripping into carnivores and the whole industry...

I’m meeting Mr Beard tomorrow just for FWB type stuff, feeling a bit nervous because he’s so much younger than me, never been with anyone this young, often find men my age and younger are not that great in bed due to them watching porn. It’s been a little while since I DTD (Mr Campervan who had a few issues).

Date with Mr Kayak on Friday, date with Mr VW Monday and possibly a date with Mr Vegan next weekend. Don’t think I have been on so many dates this close together.

Was listening to radio one yesterday and apparently it’s ‘cuffing season’ (when people try hard to find a partner for the winter/Christmas), apparently it’s the busiest time on OLD.

Off on date 2 with Mr English. Wish me luck!

@love I was just reading about cuffing season the other day haha.

love that sounds promising, lots of dates to go on!
Runs is the casual nature you wouldn't enjoy with the younger guy?
super any news from your date the other night?

vet fabulous fabulous fabulous! Its soo cool that you clicked that much. It goes to show when it is right, its right.

Thanks pudding - I really hope so 😄 Thanks everyone else too, it is crazy but very exciting and really just feels right. He said I feel like his best friend already who he also wants to rip the clothes off of, and I feel exactly the same so just have to hope it lasts and lasts!