Dating Thread 139: clowns swiping left to me, jokers to the right...

[Pringlecat]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

MinnieMul -. I saw it somewhere on Pinterest and I keep stuff like that handy for future as you never know when you might need it.... Lol.

Check out Bye Filipe on Instagram - it's hilarious.

Take back control ladies. Don't let these guys rattle you.

Also..... While I'm here I've been watching bother dating guru on YouTube. Here's one to add to the collection:

Alexis from Mindful Attraction 2.0 (for the ladies) and he also does videos for the guys too the channel is Mindful Attraction.
Can be a bit sweary so just warning you on that front but his advice is top notch.

Happy Thursday all xx

Thank you Vixen for the Mindful Attraction link. I've listened to him for a few minutes this morning (when I should be working) and I really like his advice.

Thank you Daffo.
Minnie so pleased for you. So you had a wobble around the six month mark too. Like you, I think MrWow and I are going to be a lot more open from now on. It's like we've done the 'dating' bit and now we are really getting to know each other. I think 6 months is the point where you think, is this worth continuing, how do I really feel about him? We had such instant attraction that I think the 'love' thing will be a slow burner.

As for dick pics, I have loads. I thought it was the norm! Lol.

TooOld yes wobble at around 6 months and I was going to reply to you the other day as it sounded similiar kinda thing but got distracted at work. Yes, I think it is the time you really start to know someone and start to get more comfortable. I am a overthinker in very aspect so I am working on that each day.

@VixenSixen Ooo great share for mindful attraction....got a lot of value out of one where he talks about trusting your gut instinct and listening to your feelings rather than responding to them with your usual patterns. Superb!

@DaffoDeffo No, never got the reason it just lists about 5 possible reasons and that's it. I suspect it must be him, i've never sent anything outrageous, no nudey pics or missing pics or fake accounts, never done any pestering to get myself blocked all the time...so i can only think it's a report user situation

So Mr beard seems to be after one thing, I’m soooo tempted (ten years younger than me, pretty hot and he works from home so plenty of spare time), would it be bad of me? I am trying to look for a relationship and trying not to get myself into tricky situations (like I have in the past).

why not love. You have nothing to lose and you know what you are getting in to. it doesn't stop you finding a relationship with someone else. You might as well have fun in the meantime.

I was going to post something similar actually. I am surprisingly getting into situations where men like me but only want to sleep with me, not go out with me. Which is the opposite of the situation I had last time I did internet dating. I have bloke1 as a very infrequent fwb, Mrlovebombghoster who will turn out that way. Both of them, we talk for hours but we are not suited relationship wise. I just have to watch that Mr Music (if he turns up) doesn't turn out that way too as I can see it has the potential to head that way!

I mean it's flattering on one hand, but like you love it's ultimately not what I am looking for

It’s hard isn’t it? I want a relationship but I also have a itch that needs scratching (and he looks like a good itch scratcher). TBH I have several potential FWB that message me regularly but I just can’t be bothered with them, maybe I’m just tempted by Mr Beard because of his sexy Viking looks and his age?

Maybe and nothing wrong with that either :)

@Lovemusic33 I say why not too. If you're in a good headspace for it, get your needs met! 😀

Love. Life is too short...... If you need that itch scratching then go for it. Just be clear from. The outset about what you want and what it is.... Honesty is the best policy! X

Love I'm going against the grain here and ask if Mr Beard is really what you want or need right now? You don't have to answer here. But your last couple of relationships didn't go well. You say you have FWB but can't be bothered with them. Are you in the right headspace for this?
You want a relationship but Mr Beard isn't offering that. Can you just have the fun without any of the angst that you had last time?

I'm wrestling with a similar temptation at the moment. Swapped numbers with a beardy 35yr old a few weeks ago on a night out. He suddenly messaged this week asking if I was free to meet. I know he just wants to meet for sex which I think would be lots of fun. But I know that afterwards I'll feel worse because I want a relationship and can't find anyone who wants one with me. So for now I'm saying no.

An infrequent poster, but avid follower of the thread. As a 55 year old, curvy, overweight woman I am amazed at the many (usually younger) men who want to have sex with me. A much needed confidence boost is some ways. But... not what I want. Single for 6 years, and whilst I don’t want a husband, I would like a “proper” relationship. It’s easy to get caught up with immediate needs, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Do any of you believe that our behaviour and limited belief in ourselves, and what we deserve, affects the kind of men we attract?

Sent a message confirming this evening and saying I was looking forward to it and Mr Music has gone all weird. I think this is the end of the road for me and him. If we hadn't already arranged something we both have to pay for tonight, I think I would pull out.

It's not that he's unreliable, I just don't think he is in the space for a relationship. I have barely, and I mean barely, messaged him and he's come back saying he's worried I'm into it more than him. I couldn't be less into it if I tried - I actually felt I was giving him a chance! Me and fwb (bloke1 and MrLovebomberghoster) message about 10x as much with no issues.

I'm going to meet up with him, if he turns up, do this thing we've paid for and just tell him thanks but no thanks. A bit of a waste of an evening but I suppose at least it will have a conclusion (and probably the right one given his unreliability - which I now think is a sign that he's just not into it). He's not on any dating websites, he came off them all (not for me), I think he just has such a full life, he doesn't actually need or want anything more.

Maybe I'm being unfair but I think this is what will happen. Another one bites the dust.

Runs I am talking to a few people who do wasn’t relationships but it’s slow going. I want a relationship but I’m pretty happy on my own so it will have to be someone pretty amazing for me to even put the effort in. Mr Beard has asked me what I’m looking for and I have been honest, he hasn’t exactly said what he wants been there’s been a lot of sex talk so it seems he’s after one thing. I think I could cope with a FWB type thing as long as I know that’s all he wants (but men don’t tend to be honest).
I’m still waiting to meet Mr VW who wants a relationship but is painfully shy.

Love sounds like Mr Beard needs to be honest with you before you should agree to anything. Has he asked to meet you? I wouldn't be exchanging sex talk with someone I hadn't met or hasn't agreed to a date. He could just be stringing you along for the naughty chit chat.

Thisisnot I don't think I have a limited belief in myself. And as far as I know I don't behave in any way that encourages younger men.
A few months ago I paid for Tinder Gold so I could see who already liked me. That was when I discovered that the majority of likes came from the thirty something men. No idea why so many seem to like older women.

Runs, he has asked to meet, I’m busy until next week, but it is mainly sex talk though he hasn’t requested any naughty photos and hasn’t sent me any (just face and top half shots). There has been normal chit chat toobut pretty sure he’s after one thing. It doesn’t really bother me, he’s not my normal type but I find him atractive. I don’t usually date big guys but there’s something about him that makes him very atractive (maybe the whole Viking look).

runsfor I have no idea what attracts them either. Friends (who are not dating) seem to be of the impression it’s something I have control over. As in why aren’t I dating someone older/settled/blah blah blah. Because the only ones who contact me look like my father... and I don’t want another dad! I think I deserve better, I’m sure as hell not going to settle in a relationship again (been ther, done that, learng my lesson). But wonder if my belief that a younger guy isn’t going to want anything more than just sex, is hampering me.

Because the only ones who contact me look like my father
Yes, Thisisnot, that's exactly the problem I have. And yet my friends (who have no problems finding dates) seem to think that Mr Right is just there, waiting for me. Even when I show them my choice of 'huge beer gut/bad teeth/my hobby is watching tv' men, they remain convinced I'm just being fussy.
My last two relationships were with younger men. So not all are just after sex.

Love in that case, go for it with Mr Beard, be safe, look after yourself and enjoy!

Daffo, I guess it's too late in the day now but could you tell him you'll give him the money for yours and he can take a mate?

Because the only ones who contact me look like my father

My penpal has the same name as, and birthday is within 2 days of my father's luckily looks nothing like! Not that that really matters, as I'm guessing we aren't going to meet...
Mr Oriental was in touch a few months ago and I wasn't keen, is now back in touch. Am going along with it half heartedly.
Eharmony send me this weird email once a month, can't remember what they call it but it looks like a performance report. Here is who you messaged, here is who you favourited, here is what you should carry on doing. Just received this month's and deleted without looking, it's not supposed to be like school!

Anyone tried elite singles? Is it any good ? I’m currently on tinder but the amount of guys just looking to dtd is becoming tedious (I’m looking to date someone)

I didn't realise so many women consider FWB relationships until I read this thread. Whilst I guess I'm looking for a relationship a FWB type thing might be just what I need to move on from my ex but I would never mention that in a profile or whilst chatting to any matches, in fact I never move the chat onto anything overly sexual really as I'd worry about coming across as sleazy. How would I even go about it?

Also wondered if I could get any female opinion on my Pof profile? Not having much luck there.

rich I'm happy to take a look but I'm not the most successful! I'd be casting a 'woman looking for long term relationship' perspective over it if that would help

I'll have a look rich