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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My poor Daughter

162 replies

upset70 · 02/06/2007 21:00

Not sure where this one fits...

I feel like my DD is a laughing stock, it goes back to when she was very first born, she has always been chubby and when she started walking/crawling she was clumsy (as all babies are) and the family used to joke that she was like a bulldozer and would say things like "hide all the ornaments if emily is coming around..". I thought maybe I was just being paranoid but it seems to have followed her around as shes grown up.

When she started nursery the other kids used to ask their mums why she "had a fat belly" and why she "looked like that" and their parents would always brush their comments off with an embarrassed smile. When she started reception the other kids would roll their eyes whenever they saw her coming, they would call her dopey and say things like "stay away from me today I dont want my pictures ruined" etc. She has always been quite forgetful and the one time one of the girls in her class had a party and told my daughter that she couldnt go as she'd forget the date and then the other girls started laughing at her saying she'd forget were she was going half way there etc.

She's now 11 and this attitude towards her has continued all through her life, the teachers say things to me like "she's a dreamer" and "she's in her own little world" but the other kids are more nasty saying she's "gormless" and docile. We were in town a few weeks ago and she saw one of the boys from her class and as he walked past her she did that "duh" face (where they stick their tongue in their bottom lip) and shouted "duh" really loud in her face, all his mates burst out laughing and he said "its ok, she'll forget about it by monday"

When she started her secondry school last september the 2nd day there they had a pe lesson where my DD ended up falling over in front of the entire year group, this totally wrecked any hope she had for making friends at this school and they all keep going on about it to her "show us how you fell over" every 5 minutes etc

Today was the straw that broke the camels back really, she had been invited to a party by one of the kinder girls in her class, turns out she only invited her because her mum felt sorry for my DD anyway somewhere over the past few weeks my DD had heard it was a fancy dress so we went all over yesterday to get her a costume, we got her an "elizibeth swan" costume and she went in it all proud today only to realise when she got there that it wasnt fancy dress at all, one of the bitchy little brats had told her it was for a laugh. She was the only one dressed up, the "kind girl" just looked confused and looked at her mum as if to say "what do I say?", my DD was obviously mortified, the rest of the girls were in hysterics and even the parents were giggling among themselves.

I just feel so sorry for her, is life always going to be like this for her? she tries to laugh along with them but she's hurting.

OP posts:
imaginaryfriend · 04/06/2007 21:41

If she is genuine she'll be hating this.

If she's a troll she'll be loving this.

All in all maybe it's time to end the thread?

nails · 04/06/2007 21:41

Maybe she will not come back, she's already said that she will not post about it anymore on here.
I feel quite sick about all this to be honest, she reached out for advice/help to which she received some lovely replies and then it all turned rather nasty.
Upset if you do read this I really hope that you and 'Emily' can move forward and be happy. I've been thinking about you both lots and my heart goes out to you both . Also please don't feel worried about coming back on here there are people who are concerned and wish you both all the best xx

1sue1 · 04/06/2007 21:41

Desiderata, I cannot begin to imagine how you can say 'She is a troll' rather than 'I think she's a troll'.

Why so sure...do you know her? Tell us why you KNOW, and if you can't, why not just leave this thread now?

nightowl · 04/06/2007 21:42

ok, what am i missing here? because ive read this thread over and over and dont see an inkling of troll.

desiderata, do you know something the rest of us dont? what type of behaviour? confused, really.

Desiderata · 04/06/2007 21:49

OK - troll-spotting is a lonely occupation

But it's an occupation.

Wilkie · 04/06/2007 21:50

Desi love - you need to get a life

WK007 · 04/06/2007 21:50

Is scaring new posters off a better occupation then?

Desiderata · 04/06/2007 21:52

She's a troll.

And , em , unwittingly you're trying to bully me ....

but I ain't biting

WK007 · 04/06/2007 21:54

If you really think she's a troll then she's already got you biting, sorry

Wilkie · 04/06/2007 21:54

Oh Desi you are boring me now. Off to bed methinks.

WK007 · 04/06/2007 21:56

Agree with Wilkie - there's one troll-like creature on here and its not upset70 so I'm off too.

Sorry upset70, really hope you've had some help from here and really feel for you.

Desiderata · 04/06/2007 21:57

It does not bother me that she's a troll.

It bothers me that people have bought it.

But you're right. It doesn't bother me that much.

nightowl · 04/06/2007 21:58

okay then. too tired and have better things to worry about.

Rhubarb · 04/06/2007 22:03

May I ask if anyone has bothered to go through the proper procedures and ask MNHQ to check out this OP?

walbert · 04/06/2007 22:06

Night ladies, am off to bed. Des.. why are you bothered about people 'being taken in'? I'd rather answer 100 hoax threads to get to one genuine one to help someone if I could, and all it has cost people who've responded to this thread is time. No big deal about being taken in. I hope the lady who raised this thread gets some hope / help from responses, and if it is a teenager arsing around, so what? They get to say they raised a thread on mumsnet and it got responses? See if the bar's open to get a drink and unwind. Upset... good luck.

Desiderata · 04/06/2007 22:06

WK007 - what is the point of falling out with me over this?

Please believe me. Long life. She/he is a troll.

Rhubarb · 04/06/2007 22:13

I can see both points of view here.

I can see that the OP's post, if you read it as written by a group of students who want to take the piss out of one of their fellow students, you can see all the clues and you can actually see Des's point.

However it's dodgy ground to say "you are a troll", I've done that myself and felt bloody terrible when it turns out that the post was genuine.

I've reported it to MNHQ and asked them to look into the OP's identity. If the OP is genuine then I'm sure they wouldn't mind that. If they are not genuine then hopefully they will get an email from HQ telling them where to go.

Having a go at each other will not help either scenario.

ekra · 04/06/2007 22:13

Why are you so certain?

Desiderata · 04/06/2007 22:14

Agree with your premise, Walbert, but people have spent time answering her/his OP, and her/his OP is taking the royal piss.

Desiderata · 04/06/2007 22:16

Thanks, Rhubarb.

theUrbanDryad · 04/06/2007 22:18

Rhubs - how would we go about that? the red exclamation mark?

theUrbanDryad · 04/06/2007 22:19

oops, sorry, missed the boat there.

Rhubarb · 04/06/2007 22:19
Grin
elasticbandstand · 04/06/2007 22:23

just wondered, how would mnhq know???

Rhubarb · 04/06/2007 22:26

Ah, Tech can find out if it's a namechanger for example, or if the OP is new, when they registered, what email address they registered with, their IP address, their phone number and where in the room their pc is located.

Right now the little alarm will be flashing on Tech's desk and the investigation will be under way.

Watch this space ......................