Oh fuck. I think I’ve just found an affair phone

[FuckyDuzz]

Well it’s not really an ‘I think’ really, I just have

There was an unfamiliar beeping coming from the coat/shoe cupboard so I went in to investigate and found a phone in DPs coat, a cheap little Nokia with just one contact - a woman’s name

I am home alone with 4 kids trying not to cry but honestly I could throw up right now
Wtf

Can you ring 141 from a mobile? i have just tried it and it rang someones actual no,it works from a landline though

I would text back, "Sorry, I forgot. Where are you going?"

@princesstiasmum you just put 141 before their number. It will ring them but your caller ID will not show...

I just want to add that my ducks are firmly in a row, my Mum got totally fucked over by a guy who beat her black and blue for years but had her by the balls financially so she had to stay, she’s drummed it into me to make sure I would never be in that position, all moneys go in and out of my bank account (he has access of course but it’s in my name only) and I bought the house with some inheritance money (plus a loan from my Mum) and it is solely in my name, the car is mine too, all DC are his
He’s always been fine with the finances being set up like this as he’s shit with money and we’d be up shit creek with no paddle if left to him (in fact we were for a while before I took over and got stricter with it)
We do have a few loans and credit cards which are stupidly in my name too though

I’m not working atm as the kids are so young, but could definitely get by on benefits, I’m quite frugal, he’s the spender

Literally feel a bit wobbly at the thought of him getting home, usually by this time I can’t wait for him to get in

I'm so sorry OP, what a horrible thing to find out, imo I'd Google address as pp have suggested and gather as much information and proof as possible. Also I'd get someone to babysit if possible to follow him to this address. I can imagine if you were to confront him he'd possibly twist it, that he's a victim of your mistrust and its all in your head and make you doubt yourself. I definitely couldn't even look at him and pretend nothing was wrong, because although I may not say it but my face most certainly would! Good luck OP 🍀💐

OP I have no advice but just want to say sorry this is happening. The shock is awful I know.

Good to hear you've got the financials sorted. Your Mum was smart to drum that into you, sorry she had such a shit situation through.

Could you be busy doing something upstairs or with DC when he arrives?

Won't he be entitled to half of everything though?
Really sorry you are going through this OP, although, if you don't mind me saying, you don't seem too surprised?
Good luck!

all moneys go in and out of my bank account (he has access of course but it’s in my name only) and I bought the house with some inheritance money (plus a loan from my Mum) and it is solely in my name, the car is mine too

Thank fuck for that.

I was a bit worried about you being unmarried but it sounds like you might be better off that way.

Wow what a fucker to treat you like this! Seems like he’s got a great set up palming off you for childcare whilst having a mistress!

Op finish him! You sound so lovely and dignified. Can't believe this fucker!

what a fuck wit don't let him back in if it's your house!

Not much else to add except the suggestion to change the number to yours is genuine genius. I wish I'd thought of this when I was in your situation.

Please please don't worry. You will be ok. Just make sure you don't take any shit from.his horrid ass.

Sorry OP. He's such a shit.

So glad you're ducks are lined up. What an utter shit

(he has access of course but it’s in my name only)

Change that NOW. You need to make sure he can’t empty the account...

Dutch yes i did that, but when i did it on my mobile it just rang someones actual no, but when i tried from my landline it worked.
Maybe with certain phones it wont work, mine isnt an i phone,just a Samsung, but i definitely put 141 before the no

I would ask who he is going with tonight and then later in the evening contact them with a fake reason. See what they say lol

You need to cut off his access to the bank account now as he is quite likely to clean out the account once he knows he has been found out. Phone the bank and cancel his card and say you do not want a replacement. Change your pin as a precaution.

Also cancel any joint credit cards and take him off the car insurance (should get you a refund). As soon as he is out speak to the council and get your council tax change to single adult which should also save you some money.

He will need to pay child support for the children.

Don’t tell him you know yet. Sort everything out then confront.

Or ring police and say you believe hubby is at a sex workers, give them the address and say you don't want them to tell him who reported it.

💐 I would keep the phone also... Turn it off... He will be searching for it before he goes out but that isn't your problem. Use tonight when he gone out to make a plan and figure out your next step. Can you phone a friend or your mum and talk to them.

Sorry not Dutch Ouch should have had my specs on