Oh fuck. I think I’ve just found an affair phone

[FuckyDuzz]

Well it’s not really an ‘I think’ really, I just have

There was an unfamiliar beeping coming from the coat/shoe cupboard so I went in to investigate and found a phone in DPs coat, a cheap little Nokia with just one contact - a woman’s name

I am home alone with 4 kids trying not to cry but honestly I could throw up right now
Wtf

Wow, I'm sorry op.
The explanation was way worse than I thought. What sort of man with a loving wife and 4 lovely children get involved with what has just happened? Sounds like script from a cheap sordid film.
I really admire you keep your cool and dignity op and I hope things get better for you.

Do you still have the phone Op? I’d be tempted to text him saying seen as it’s a drug dealing phone, you’re going to go hand it to the police with both his and his so called friends details.
To be honest I’d probably actually do it! Can’t abide drug dealing and if he’s really been taking sex as payment, he’s a disgusting human being who deserves anything that comes his way.

Oh I see, so since oral sex isn't an affair, the next time you look after NDN Bill's cat you can sit on his face in payment.

He a lying sack of shit. So sorry Fucky.

Confide in your DM.

Blow jobs are
An affair cheeky Bastard!
Well done for not letting h turn this around on you, you deserve better.

Youl never trust him again even if you continue with this marriage as he has broken
Something really special !

Frankly I'd tell him to go fuck himself !!'

Yes.... take phone to the police and watch him squirm. Sorry this has happened to you x

Oh ffs! is he writing the plot for the next sleazy gangster film? Whatever the actual whole truth is - it ain't pretty.

As a pp said, if drugs really are involved and he gets caught - SS will be involved with your family. Please do not have him back in the home - and yes get yourself tested.

Devastating for you - but be glad of that phone's beep. It has saved you from any further horrors down the line

I’m so sorry OP.

Remember that you won’t have heard the truth. They never give the full story on first telling. They tell you what they think is enough to count as “confessing” (because they’re caught and know they have to tell you something) but certainly never the full truth. Unfortunately you will uncover a lot more as time goes on.

I'm so sorry OP.

I had an inkling drugs would be involved.

I don't think it necessarily has to be over (if it is what he says it is), if he sorted this out and finished this liaison immediately there might be a way back.

But I'm pleased you've kicked him out for now, you definitely need some space to get your head round it and if you decide to move on without him then good for you.

Also pleased that your mum is being supportive. If she's invited you round having not asked what he's done then she clearly doesn't think much of him.

Offering to pay a drug debt through sexual favours is hardly "taking a shine" to someone. It's more along the lines of intimidation and exploitation, that aside, he's a dead loss, living a completely separate life to the people he should be caring for most.

He's not the husband and dad your family deserve.

If your DH was helping his friend sell the drugs..His mate was obviously desperately trying to raise the money to pay back the main man.
So if the stripper was paying for her gear in blow jobs..That would mean his mate was out of pocket..No drugs and no money? Does his mate know that he was selling for blow Jobs instead of cash? As he would be out of pocket.Or was your DH covering the difference? It doesn't add up at all.
So sorry you're going through this OP.

Yes hand it in, and don't tell him. If nothing else it will let you know the truth and help the girl involved. Full disclosure to your mum too. This is the time for involving people in real life. They will keep you strong although I think you are awesome and handling this amazingly well

And the fact he says he was “flattered” by a vulnerable woman having to pay for her addiction by giving him oral sex! ewww!! He exploited that woman for sex (if that’s even the truth)

What the fuck is he in if blowjobs drugs and strippers is the best version of events? Holy smokes. And blaming you- fuck that shit. The only faint silver lining is that it's so ridiculous there is no 'two sides'/ minimising: yeah maybe I can take him back. You know where you are on this one. Take care

Jesus wept ! He is dodgy af .
Op you need to sort your online banking-move money out quickly before he does.
Get the locks changed today .
So sorry

He was bottom of the pile.. and now he's not in the pile at all.

He’s gross. So gross. Slimy, amoral and repulsive.

I wouldn’t want to walk on the same side of the road with that person, Lee alone share a home, a life.

Stay strong and detach yourself from him. You deserve so much more.

OMG its all of what was discussed on this thread. So wanted it not to be but for it to be the whole caboodle - sex and drugs. He has deceived you and put your family at risk. You need him out of your life. He is a someone else put it a complete dead beat. Thank goodness you have your mum. Virtual {{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

Oh and tell your mum tell everyone

Sorry Op

Good for you Fucky shutting that absolute bullcrap down straight away. It incenses me every time I read (sadly all too often) on here about how men seem to think they’re “entitled” to do god knows what because the world no longer revolves around them. Welcome to fucking adulthood (or basically age about 10+ for most girls). That is a truly sorry excuse for an explanation and I’m afraid tells you all you need to know about his priorities in life. Wishing you all the very best, so many of us behind you here

Don't give the phone to the police, that's terrible advice IMO. Getting him arrested isn't going to help any.

Much better spending your time seeing a solicitor.

Omg drugs andprostitution! Yeuch 🤮

Wait a minute, have I got his story right.....he was selling the drugs for his mate who owed a drug dealer money.....so how was getting a BJ from a stripper helping his mate out? Was he putting in the money for the drugs on behalf of the girl in return for the blowjob? In turn, taking the money out of the mouths of ur children? Therefore in turn, also paying for a blowjob!!!!!
What a wanker! Unforgivable!
You are a strong woman who shouldn't take shit like this from anyone! He's weak and pathetic and he'll be the one who'll struggle! How's he going to explain why you split to his friends and family?!?

Oh god, that "story" is awful. If it really is made up to cover up the truth, I dread to think of what the actual truth is?! As PP have said yes, he has exploited that woman. It's worse than an affair which one would hope is at least based on mutual affection/respect (not condoning affairs by the way! But I see it as better than solicitation).

So sorry OP. Enjoy spending time at your mums. I would tell her the truth.

I would tell the police.

If the shit hits the fan from another source you may be implicated.

Knowing about drug dealing and keeping quiet is conspiracy.

If things go wrong and you are interviewed you would have to tell the police that you knew about the dealings.