Oh fuck. I think I’ve just found an affair phone

[FuckyDuzz]

Well it’s not really an ‘I think’ really, I just have

There was an unfamiliar beeping coming from the coat/shoe cupboard so I went in to investigate and found a phone in DPs coat, a cheap little Nokia with just one contact - a woman’s name

I am home alone with 4 kids trying not to cry but honestly I could throw up right now
Wtf

Good luck, Fucky . There are so many women who have been through simelar situations and have all come through the other side.

You're incredibly brave and remember, you have a whole hoard of us here cheering you on and ready for anything you need, be that advice, support or a handhold.

Thinking of you tonight, you strong lady.

Bluntness I know, some of the suggestions I find hard to believe anyone would do in real life (although of course I know people do) but it’s really not my style to play games and Facebook stalk people and things like that (not that I even have Facebook)
I don’t need to investigate the girl, it doesn’t matter to me who she is, I just want to know who she is to DP, and only he can tell me that
So I’m just going to ask
...and hope it’s all a misunderstanding not likely

Don't listen to his words OP... Watch his reactions, they'll likely tell you all you need to know.

You are not alone.

Not a lot to add except I've been thinking of you all day and checking for updates. Good luck for tonight OP. Hoping you get the honesty you deserve. 💐

Agree op and good luck. Your plan is rhe best one. You'll know from your gut reaction on how he responds to your questions, you know this man, so just ask him.

Good luck OP hope it's not what you think it is, be strong!

Is it possible he knows something is us because his phone is missing?

All best wishes OP

TBF I think those making suggestions are worried that he will deny all and you will have no other evidence. What if this happens? Can you live with the doubts?

My ExH admitted all, the only decent thing I everything that he did. Horrific but the lack of doubt was taken away.

I think your approach is very wise. Just be aware he might try and minimise but if you don't trust what he says you still have every right to end things with him

Good luck op, I hope for your sake that there is a reasonable explanation. You deserve so much better, especially with a small baby at home to look after too.

Flicker I’m not sure, I hadn’t really considered that tbh
I suppose it depends on what his explanation for the phone is and whether he can prove it
I’m not against getting him to ring her in front of me if he denies everything and I don’t believe him I suppose
I don’t know

Good luck OP. You sound so full of poise and class. You've got this.

Thinking of you tonight, you strong lady.

I think there are a lot of us urging you on, buoying you up.

Good luck. Just be aware that he will tell you the absolute bare minimum he thinks he can get away with. When he tells you, stony silence and the open question “And what else do you need to tell me..?”

Well of course he will deny it and minimise, that's a given,

He's not going to say straight off "well yeah I'm shagging the blonde at number ten"

She will know from his reaction , she has four kids with this man.

Not wanting to believe it, wanting to believe what he says, even when you know deep down it is a lie, is something very different.

Many woman say "well I don't know for sure so I will stay".yeah they know. They just want to stay. That's fine, but it's not the same as not knowing,

Be prepared for him to say it was a phone he found a couple of days ago and he's been meaning to hand it to police/work reception (depending on where he "found" it). My STBXH OW updated her FB profile pics with a lovey dovey pic of them. When I confronted him he said "She's seeing a married man and she's done it to make him jealous" (they work together pic was from a work night out). I couldn't believe this was the man I had been with for 17 years. The lies come thick and fast when they are first confronted. Say very little. Let him do the talking. He'll drop himself in it sooner or later.

Good luck OP

Good luck 💐

Oh gosh ... fingers crossed for you and your little ones.

Hope he says what you want to hear, op. Good Luck

Mine tried to minimise until I produced evidence/proof. In fact, he even gaslighted me into thinking I was imagining some things.

Hi I’ve been in this position and it’s hard when you have kids together but all I will say is they never change once a cheat always a cheat you deserve so much more than to be treated like that . I would just show him what you’ve found and ask for an explanation. Your gut will tell you If he’s lying to be honest it doesn’t look great . Sending you lots of strength x

You've got this!

A cheap little Nokia with one contact - drug dealing.

uk.businessinsider.com/drug-dealers-are-buying-nokia-8210-phones-2015-1?r=US&IR=T