Oh fuck. I think I’ve just found an affair phone

[FuckyDuzz]

Well it’s not really an ‘I think’ really, I just have

There was an unfamiliar beeping coming from the coat/shoe cupboard so I went in to investigate and found a phone in DPs coat, a cheap little Nokia with just one contact - a woman’s name

I am home alone with 4 kids trying not to cry but honestly I could throw up right now
Wtf

What a nightmare OP
Really hoping there is another explanation. When the time is right it will come out.

Hope you’re ok OP. I’m afraid I know of men who’ve had affairs while their wives are pregnant, never mind just given birth.

I think you’re wise to take your time with this. It’s a big shock. Just try not to let on you know anything yet and make sure all important docs, passports and finances are safe. Also any devices are backed up and data secure.

Bluntness no I’m not sitting on it indefinitely, I just needed a minute to process it
I’m not sure when I plan to bring it up though, I should probably decide that soon shouldn’t I

Orchids it was just business as usual really, he gets home at the busiest time of day and the 2 year old has been at nursery today so was extra tired and tantrummy so he just came home and dived right in getting the younger 2 in bed and the kitchen cleaned before he got changed and went out
I just acted a bit harassed by kids and not in a chatty mood so it was curt ‘how was your day’ conversation and that’s it really

Interesting that a few people have mentioned drugs, I wouldn’t have considered that at all
Although again it doesn’t explain a phone that seems to be for one person only
If he was selling then surely he’d have lots of contacts, and if he was buying then he could just do that from his normal phone couldn’t he

I suppose he could but maybe thinks it's safer on the other phone. Is he home now. Did he try and get the phone before leaving

No he isn’t home yet, and no he didn’t even go in the cupboard, didn’t appear to look for the phone at all

The only way for you to know will be to ask him. Do you think he will lie? Or is he fairly transparent?

you really need to google the number OP

I know it happens but cant believe that someone with little ones would do that. Its so awful.

neveradullmoment99 you’re right I can sit here and speculate till I’m blue in the face but of course unless he chooses to tell me when I ask then I’ll never know
I genuinely have no idea if he’ll be honest, I think I’ll probably be able to tell from his face if I catch him off guard, and then if he lies then I’ll know either way won’t I

I think maybe go to bed now. Dont speak to him tonight as you are in shock, it's late and you have had wine. Take down all the details and make a plan tomorrow. Just be super busy and ignore him in the morning. Try and get the kids watched for a bit to get your head together about what to say. Xxxx

Hope you're doing okay OP.

I feel so sad for you. So shit. Hoping there is another explanation.
I think what I would do is wait until the morning and he is away to work and do some digging when you feel stronger.
Once you think you have some answers, confront.

Find the address, google the phone number. I reckon he will try and wriggle out of things.

be strong!

confront when back from work tomorrow. Get someone to take the kids.

Just dropping by to send you and
You'll find strength you never knew you had. I did.

Sending hugs - try and find out more about her before you confront him.

Be sure to arm yourself with as many facts as you can- googling will possibly help you gain these.

I texted her and said "This is [his] wife, you are welcome to the cheating cunt" and I got far more out of her than I got out of him. Basically she admitted the affair and said that he told her we were seperated. Was (in hindsight) quite amusing when I countered his lies with "Well thats not what X told me, she said......"

But she also said that she was only after some no strings fun (presumably to reassure me that she wasnt after stealing my husband), so I posted one of the tit pics she had sent him on a hook up website with her phone number. I was almost arrested, so dont do this

for you i have nothing to add except be kind to yourself

@PyongyangKipperbang that's brilliant

Fucky I've been reading since your first post, and keep checking back. I am so sad for you, for your DC, for your family. What an ass he is. Can't see any good outcome from this, but that's easy to say from outside.

You sound really strong. I hope you can figure out what you want, and that you get some support IRL. In the meantime, you've got all of us with strong backs, and hands to hold.

Just read the thread - so sorry OP you must be in sheer shock. If I were on your shoes I’d have had the kids taken out and would have lost my shit the second he walked in. As you didn’t and have kept cool you have the option of really getting to the bottom of this without giving him the chance to bullshit his way out of it - or try to. I’d change the number to either yours or your best friends/sister/mum and get her to forward any texts. If you can get into his iPhone check location settings and look at significant locations, it will come up where and how long he has been in each place. Go back to your diary and make a note now if times he’s been out while it’s fresh in your head- see if it correspondes. Take photos of all of the messages on that phone and email them to yourself. Good luck one day you will look back on this and think how strong you were .

I can't believe how calm you're being Fucky. I would have gone batshit by now. I hope there's an innocent explanation