He packs and leaves if we argue.

[Saffy60]

Until now I have stopped him. But the last time he did it, I said I would help him pack if he did it again as it is no way to behave, it undermines trust and shakes the roots of our relationship. So I kept to my word. And we have split up.
We have had a bit of dialogue over messenger, he says I criticise him, I think I complain about things that need to be changed. He says he can't take the agro. BUT on the occasions we argue and he doesn't pack, he will be asleep in 3 to 5 minutes and I will be awake and upset most of the night. Next morning he expects everything to be fine.
We are meeting for a chat later to day and I'm not sure I want him back.

Well done for ending it. He sounds like a teenager who threatens to run away from home every time he gets told off!

Well done OP. You are awesome.

I think you were lucky he was such an arse with the friday evening date, actually.

There are so much better men for you, you sound so lovely. I hope you find someone worth of you.

Brilliant! Well done.

Good for you...
They are good at hiding their real selves to begin with...or we wouldn't fall for them...
I thought that he would have been much younger Saff... To get to 60 with no money or own home takes some doing... I wonder how successful his business is if he is still living off of you & his parents???
You are well out of it...
Spend your money on yourself...and enjoy your house without him in it using it as a free hotel x

Don't arrive home till the kids are gone..
You deserve more respect.

Thank goodness OP.
Well done.
Now stay strong.
He will try hoovering you back in when his next 'thing' fails!

Well done

I am SO annoyed. We live in a rural area and we know many of the same people. It seems my ex has started spreading nasty rumours about me. I admit I don't even know what they are as yet....so I am jumping the gun a bit.

BUT he introduced me to a lovely couple a while back. Turned out my father was best man for the husbands father and I got on very well with them both.

The wife has contacted me to tell me she isn't happy with what my ex is saying about me and would I like to meet her for lunch as there are two sides to every story. I have put this on the back burner but I'm now wondering if its best to find out what he has been saying?

What do you think girls?

Yes, I would go for lunch.

Yes, go. At least she's trying to be fair minded.

The man's a shit, isn't he?

I'd go.
Then explain to this friend the truth.

What a Weasley little fuck nugget he is. You're well rid, deserve much better.

This is such a fascinating post. Funny how things are always so obvious from the outside but people have to figure stuff out when they're good and ready, unfortunately sometimes the hard way. I would go for lunch but I think you need to rise above his bitching and maintain an air of dignity so your whole relationship doesn't become local gossip. He is a manipulative person and I think the only way you won't come off badly is to turn the other cheek - most people can see through people like him and won't believe him anyway. Honestly can't believe you're both 60. This is the kind of relationship most people have in their teens/early 20s!

After I watched the movie he's just not that into you it all became clear and I stopped wasting my time chasing drama and pining over guys who gave less than 100% (to be fair I was only about 23 and I probably would have come to realise this without Hollywood's help). When someone loves you it isn't this hard.

Good luck and sorry you've had a rubbish time of it. That said we're all responsible for our life choices and this kind of heartache and drama can be avoided with better choices earlier on.

Yes, you should definitely go to lunch with her, at least to set the story straight. If your ex was a narcissist character assassination and twisting stories is par for the course, I'm afraid.

People know you. People know him. You are nice. He is not. People will know this. You continue being a nice person. All the people will be making this face when he makes up shit about how horrid you are.

Controlling people who suddenly realise so they can’t control you, move on to the next stage which is controlling how others perceive you. Textbook stuff I’m afraid.

Oh i'm sorry things haven't worked out the way you hoped Saffy. But you made totally the right decision. Why would you want a relationship where you have to fight your corner, have to persuade and explain to him in simple terms about why you should be respected etc etc? You can do better.

And I do recommend the film 'He's just not that into you'. Go for lunch. Have a nice time. He's been a total shit and you deserve better. Hold your men to high standards lady!

Go for lunch if you like, but I wouldn't get into the "he said, she said". Because however lovely she is, it might get back to him and fuel his fire. Just say "no that's not true, I don't want to talk about him anymore, it didn't work out, it's over and I want to move on now."

Go for lunch. Don’t ever get back with that man. Don’t be a mug.

Praise Jesus you broke up with this cocklodging loser!

Def go for lunch and set her straight. Also ask her (nicely) to set everyone else straight

Oh God yes, go for the lunch. And before she tells you anything, explain to her exactly what's been going on between you and him recently, and where you are now.

Then let her tell you what he is saying about you.

God, i wish I have seen this thread before.

This is my behaviour.... And I walked out on someone on Wednesday because I cant handle the drunken behaviour and the fact he told me "I hurt him walking out at least 10 times"

I sent him an email stating that I'm thankful for everything and wishing him good luck.

Then just said that I dont want to hurt him anymore...
It hurts me too to be away from him as I have feelings for him but I can't make it better anymore. And he blames me every time he can for walking out on him at least 10 times.

Now I can see how it can be painful.
I am so sorry OP, on behalf of your partner as well.