Catlady and Mini: Our new beginning (Support Thread)

[CatLadyToddlerMother]

Previous thread here from AIBU

Told to start new thread over here for support. TL:DR as previous thread is almost full: On 4th March this year my husband attacked me and threatened to kill me in front of our then 2 year old. I spent 10 days living on my mums sofa. Am now back in the flat we shared but planning to move soon on the request of my lovely over involved Social Worker. DD is now 3 and despite a few developmental issues is coming on in leaps and bounds. We also have a cat who is fussy, selfish and snobby lovely.

Mini and the cat have been the only things keeping me going sometimes, I've been so down even though everyone thinks I'm doing ok, sometimes I wonder if I'm too good at hiding it and I actually am loosing my mind.

Will post all updates here from now on.

It's always a good sign when they have something to eat. I bet you're relieved she's eaten something. That's a long time to go without food.

She has gone longer without food when ill but it's worrying when she goes more than one meal without food as she loves her food so much.

Cats are the best when you're ill. Hope Mini is feeling better soon. I've been reading since your first thread and can't get over how strong you've been. Mini is lucky to have such an amazing mum.

Yeah, I found that the first sign of illness was when one of the kids went off food, so when they started eating again, I knew they were over the worst.

Mini will be back to her old self soon enough, and she'll be raring to go and play with her friends!

Turned her nose up at Beans on Toast her favourite but did manage to eat the fudge bar my granddad gave her

So pleased she is on the mend

Haha! Well, at least it's something, a little chocolate and fudge isn't going to hurt her.

a little chocolate and fudge isn't going to hurt her.

Maybe I'm just jealous that granddad forgot to get me one!

Haha, I don't blame you, I love them!

Well she was fine and then went downhill again.

Back to the doctors this afternoon. Thankfully my surgery has a policy of prioritizing under 5s.

Oh! poor you and your little girl xxx hope she gets sorted out today

Doctor was useless.

Said I'm not to give calpol more than twice a day in case she gets addicted (I am not the kind of parent to just give in to her, if she asks and doesn't need it she's not having it!) and to keep up with antibiotics twice a day.

I'm seeing my GP next week (the lovely female one I mentioned on my previous thread) so if she's still not right I'll mention it to her, she got Mini in to see her the same day last time I had concerns.

Calpol is fine up to 4x daily at 6h intervals. GP is over-cautious. FIL is a pharmacist and he says yes paracetamol is easily overdosed, but following guidelines on the bottle you will be fine.

I always give 5ml every 4-6 hours and only give if she has a temp of 38+ or is inconsolable with pain. For a 3 year old the bottle says 7.5ml so I’m underdosing her deliberately

Nursery told me to send her in today with antibiotics and cotton wool so she could do water play.

Did I need that sleep or did I not? Was supposed to call Nursery at lunchtime to see if she was ok, slept right through. Oops. I assume they'd have called me if there was any problems.

Feeling so much better now though

I guess it all caught up with you. As you said, they'll have called you if there was a problem.

I love this Nursery!

Forgot to ask them to make sure MIni wore her hat when playing outside (or inside with the doors open). They did it anyway!

Good that you didn't have to spell out the obvious to them!

Think I'm making headway with ExH finally!

He had contact today organised by SW. She told me if he did anything I was unhappy with today she would never make another arrangement for contact again and will tell ExH to take me to court.

He returned at 5.05pm, which was technically 5 minutes late but I can be a lenient because I do know how difficult it is to get Mini to put her shoes on and get her toys together.

He was polite on the doorstep and appears to have followed my instructions about not letting her hair or ears get wet and not to wipe or touch discharge (I was given special bathing instructions which would have been hard to do with her in 3 hours so I just said don't wipe or wash it). He's not seen her since before her birthday so she;s finally got her birthday presents, which she loves. Lots of dressing up things and some new dolls* and a couple of books, which are actually going to really help her speech. He's even done her SAL exercises with her!

Hope he keeps this up as if he does and sees her regularly I'll be able to trust him to have her for longer and with less supervision. This is all I've ever wanted.

Mini is trying to convince me that "Daddy doesn't let me have squash" which I know she's had as I can smell it on her breath**.

Only small thing is her nappy hasn't been changed but he had her 3 hours and she could easily have peed enough after that to have soaked her nappy, so I'm not overly concerned it hasn't been done if he'd had her longer I'd have been a bit peed off.

*Because she needed another 3 when she has 10 already but she's happy so can;t complain

**Again not worried I usually let her have one cup a day but she does have occasional day where she has none so if it's all she's drunk with her dad I don't mind, at least he gave her a drink!

Good job Nursery uniform isn’t compulsory.

DD decided today was the day she was going to accessorize and wear a princess dress up skirt and cat ears headband – so much more confident than I ever was

She's got style!

Well he does suprise me.

Court papers have come through this morning.

Worried about it now

He asking for full custody of her!

And he’s lied on the form saying there was no domestic abuse or violence.

What evidence do I need? And how do I present it to the courts? The forms aren’t clear

Since there was indeed domestic abuse, you should qualify for legal aid. You need a solicitor to help you navigate the forms. Women's Aid or your SW might be able to help you find someone appropriate.

The court papers say I can’t discuss the case with SW anymore.