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Original poster

Catlady and Mini: Our new beginning (Support Thread)

999 replies

CatLadyToddlerMother · 27/07/2018 17:47

Previous thread here from AIBU

Told to start new thread over here for support. TL:DR as previous thread is almost full: On 4th March this year my husband attacked me and threatened to kill me in front of our then 2 year old. I spent 10 days living on my mums sofa. Am now back in the flat we shared but planning to move soon on the request of my lovely over involved Social Worker. DD is now 3 and despite a few developmental issues is coming on in leaps and bounds. We also have a cat who is fussy, selfish and snobby lovely.

Mini and the cat have been the only things keeping me going sometimes, I've been so down even though everyone thinks I'm doing ok, sometimes I wonder if I'm too good at hiding it and I actually am loosing my mind.

Will post all updates here from now on.

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Thread gallery
5
Motoko · 19/08/2018 19:01

Haha! Sounds like she had a great time!

Queenofthestress · 19/08/2018 22:49

WD40 and a window scraper will get the stickers right off :)

Original poster
CatLadyToddlerMother · 19/08/2018 23:05

Queenofthestress I’ll tell my mum that Wink

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Queenofthestress · 19/08/2018 23:07

DS usually tries to eat them, until the miracle day he realised they stuck to stuff....all over my less than 24 hours old gloss...little toad!

Original poster
CatLadyToddlerMother · 19/08/2018 23:56

Just had a text from party girls mother

"Hi Cat, hope this isn't out of turn to say but I aware of your circumstances and the reason for the breakdown of you marriage. No-one told me but I guessed why when you told me a few weeks ago that you'd split from him. Just want to let you know it was noted how well behaved Mini was today and how hard you were obviously working to get her to join in. She's a great girl and I know (her DDs name) enjoys playing with her at Nursery. If you need anything even just a cup of tea and a chat, let me know I only live on (road name)* so convenient for us both"

*that road is the next street to me and was the one the house I was going to move to is on, it's literally 2 minutes from me.

I could cry that is so nice.

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Queenofthestress · 20/08/2018 00:40

It's always gives you a good feeling when you know you've got support! Make the most of it and go for a cuppa in the week :D

Motoko · 20/08/2018 09:10

See, it's not just us randoms on the internet, and Mini's professional support team who think you're doing a grand job!

Take up the offer of a cuppa and grow a friendship. The support will be invaluable, and you'll also have someone to have a laugh with and to chat about other things to.

Original poster
CatLadyToddlerMother · 22/08/2018 17:19

Anxiety inducing...

Pick DD up from Nursery and as she's leaving her keyworkers DD aged 6 gives her a hug, all fine until all the other children see and pile in for a "group hug". DD in the middle and she's quite a bit smaller than her friends even the other 3 year olds (she's a 1/3 of their size). They accidentally knocked her over.

I'm glad she has friends but that was really bad for me, DD of course thought it was hilarious...

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Jux · 22/08/2018 18:04

I can see that it would be anxiety inducting, so well done for not panicking. I'm so glad dd enjoyed her group hug, though! Does it help to keep tellinng yourself that she was fine and loved it?

The party sounds like so much fun - and it's glorious that dd had a great time, played nicely with friends and generally was a brilliant, brrilliant child! [star}

What a lovely thing the party girl's mum did there. That note is gold. Do you want a cuppa with her, or would you be more comfortable taking it a bit more slowly, like keeping it to the school gates for the moment? She sounds nice and sensitive and alert, and could be a great ally to yo Grinu.

See!! When you don't have ex there, you manage better than 'perfectly well'; you are great! Star for you too!

I like red shoes too Grin

Jux · 22/08/2018 18:06
Star That's for dd in place of the one I messed up in the last post - which I see is positively littered with errors!
AcrossthePond55 · 22/08/2018 18:15

I'm glad she has friends but that was really bad for me, DD of course thought it was hilarious...

Oh bless them all! Yes it was bad for you this time, but it'll be easier for you next time they all want a group hug.

Both of you are just blossoming. Two flowers who have been in the shade far too long, now enjoying the full sunshine!

Jux · 22/08/2018 19:02

What lovely imagery, Across

I add two beautiful butterflies emerging from their long imprisonment in their chrysalids.

Oh yes, CatLady. We are describing you and Mini.

Original poster
CatLadyToddlerMother · 24/08/2018 15:47

Felt like spoiling DD today.

So she's got a new activity cube. I know it sounds a bit babyish but given her GDD she'll love it, plus it cost my mum £3 in a charity shop so if she hates it we can redonate it back.

Also got her some new pens and a pencil case to hopefully stop the cat knocking the crayons under the settee where I can't reach them!

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Original poster
CatLadyToddlerMother · 24/08/2018 15:51

And I've finally found a dry cat food madam fussy bottom will eat to supplement her two wet meals a day (vet advice).

Today is a good day!

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Original poster
CatLadyToddlerMother · 26/08/2018 19:50

Just what I needed a day at the seaside with my favourite little person Grin

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kaitlinktm · 26/08/2018 21:37

I hope you both had a lovely time! These are the things that Mini will remember - good times with her Mum.

(Madam Fussy Bottom Grin - I have a Madam Scratchy Bottom Grin )

Queenofthestress · 27/08/2018 11:08

I hope your weather is better than what we've been having in N.E.Lincs! Bloody miserable here!

Motoko · 27/08/2018 11:52

Same here in S.Wales, it's been pretty miserable for weeks, while everyone else in the UK were complaining about the heat, we had overcast skies, and rain off and on! Yesterday it was so dark, we had the lights on all day, and my solar fairy lights came on early and only stayed lit for a little while! With so little sun, they've only been staying on for about an hour anyway, but I think last night, they only managed about 15 minutes.

I bet Mini had a lovely time at the beach. I lived in south London when my kids were small, so often hopped on the train to take them to the coast for a day out. I had a Network South East card, so they only cost 50p each and my ticket was a 3rd off, so it was about £5. I dread to think how much it would cost now! Brighton was a favourite, but I also took them to Littlehampton and Eastbourne. Children love the beach, especially if it has rock pools to explore, and some sand for building sandcastles. I miss those days, so make the most of this time, as it passes all too quickly.

Original poster
CatLadyToddlerMother · 27/08/2018 15:20

Motoko We were in North Wales, weather was ok, but windy and showery but that made it more fun!

Home now, but would have happily spent another day there. Might have to book a weekend away there.

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Motoko · 27/08/2018 15:37

Wales is lovely! You should definitely try to have a break here, there are so many things to see and do.

Original poster
CatLadyToddlerMother · 31/08/2018 17:41

Keyworker loved the "Freestyle Rainbow" card DD made for her, I got a big box of what I know are her favourite chocolates thanks to her husband who also works at the Nursery but in a different part, I just asked him and also included a £15 voucher for a local "high end" beauty place that sells make up and toiletries and stuff. Will miss her Sad

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Jux · 31/08/2018 18:27

Lovely!

You sound so positive now, so glad for you.xx

Original poster
CatLadyToddlerMother · 02/09/2018 20:33

You sound so positive now,

I still have entire days which are what my WA worker says are "write offs", where I'm so anxious and scared of everything. But that's why they're write offs. We write them off and start again fresh the following day. And sometimes I do have a couple of days in a row which are bad like I'm having at the moment, but if I can find out why then I can target it.

At the moment it's because DDs having her operation in a few weeks and I'm absolutely petrified, but I'm sure it'll be ok.

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MipMipMip · 05/09/2018 21:17

She WILL be ok. And you know what? It's fine yo be scared. It's normal to be scared. It would be a hell of a lot more worrying if you weren't.

Despite that, it is shit and I'm sorry you're both going through this. Flowers

Motoko · 06/09/2018 00:11

Yeah it's completely normal to feel scared. I'll never forget what it was like standing in the room next to theatre with my then 6 year old son, while they were prepping him for surgery. He'd asked me earlier if he was going to die. You can imagine how that felt. His was an emergency appendectomy. (He's 27 now!)

You'll get through this.