Am I insane to believe this?

[BelleEnd1]

DH went out on Monday night to meet a "colleague". I had doubts so challenged him and when backed into a corner, he admitted he had gone round to a woman's house. He has history with this woman, before we were together but has also had shady interactions with her since we've been together.
He told me he was an idiot but went round to help her with her CV. He produced the CV when challenged.

I kinda believe him but also have nagging doubts... alongside the fact that if I read this from someone else on here, I'd think they were fucking mental to believe him.

Why was he lying to you about it in the first place? Well dodgy.

whether it was just as he said or not, he still lied to you about seeing another woman, I'd be livid

Coz he was being a prick?

He said he thought I'd kick off.

I messaged her yesterday, couldn't help myself. She didn't reply but text him this morning, obviously when she thought he'd be at work telling him that I text her.

yes OP insane. Even if it's not true on the affair front he lied about where he was going - how can you trust him?

No I wouldn’t believe him. And producing a cv isn’t proof that nothing else happened.

What were the shady interactions?

I actually would believe him . He probably panicked at first and then had since told the truth . I think it sounds plausible and if he produced the CV then even more reason to believe him xx

Sexting when we were going through a rocky patch. He also gave her some money a few years ago and lied about it

But why did he have to help her with the CV? She really had no one else to ask?

Why did he bring her CV home with him, except as "proof"?

No, I wouldn't, and as GG said, the fact he produced it to show you seems even more suspicious, especially as he lied in the first instance.

Why did he need to help her with her CV? Most adults can produce their own ones, and if not, there must be so many other people who could have helped her, not your husband.

Then the text, she couldn't reply to you, but obviously texted him for what to tell you instead.

Regardless of whether he was "helping her with her CV" or not... the whole situation is really not on, it it? I'd LTB.

If it was just a friend he wouldn’t have even bought the CV home, because it wouldn’t matter. So why the need for ‘proof’.

Considering his history with her, he's not being very respectful to his wife, is he?and he lied to you. And you can't trust him next time he says he's going out with a colleague or friend.
That doesn't add up to a very healthy marriage.

Urgh.

I don't disagree with what you're saying at all. This is what I guess I'm trying to suppress. She has her own DP. I considered threatening to tell him unless she tells me the truth but she covered up the money thing for years so I guess there's no point.

Cv was saved on his laptop

I'm sorry but I wouldn't believe this. In this day and age of instant electronic communication you can "help" with a CV without leaving your sofa, for one thing, and then there's his history with this woman.

Very dodgy. And how convenient that he could just happen to produce a copy of the CV as "proof".

If he genuinely thought it would upset you, and he cared, he wouldn't have gone (assuming the CV story is genuine, which isn't likely).

In short, there's no way this is looking good.

I feel really backed into a corner over this. Essentially my choices are
-believe him and just drop the whole thing
-leave him and break up our family

Sorry, what money thing?

No OP, you're not breaking up the family. He's been a dick of the highest order by insulting your intelligence. Keep this in your mind when deciding how you're going to move forward with this.

He gave her some money a couple of years ago but lied about where the money had gone

Ridiculous. Nobody needs to go round to someone’s house to ‘help with a CV’.

Having sex, on the other hand... well, that’s something that requires one to be present in person...

Why bother lying when it’s so obvious? Just admit cheating and then you can both move on. Does her other half know?

Oh, don't worry about it, just saw the post.

Was it only sexting, or was that all he told you? Could it have been more even then?

He clearly has a huge attachment to her still. I suppose you'll just have to decide if you're OK with it, because clearly it's been going on for years now and it's not going to stop any time soon, especially if he's giving money behind your back to her. It seems to be a deep relationship.

No, apparently he was at work. I'd quite like to tell him but don't feel quite prepared for the shit storm

Yeah that's what worries me most tbh- why is there such a connection with her? She was just someone he was shagging like 8 years ago.

Certain it was only sexting before.

I help people with CV's
They email them to me and I tidy them up or make them look better and fluff out where necessary and email it back.
I've never been round someone's house to help them though.
It all stinks OP.
Sexting, money, going round her house.
But this is your life and your family.