Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

[Kinunir]

Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Checking into the new thread a tad late. Mainly as I'd stopped reading the last one because of the innuendo/slut talk. I'd echo some of the PPs - It did make me feel uncomfortable and stop posting. Really glad to see some others coming out of lurkdom again 😃

@runsforcake14 I feel your pain - we're similar ages I seem to remember. I don't seem to find anyone remotely suitable on OLD - I've tried changing up my preferences, giving people a second look etc etc. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Rapidly coming to the conclusion that it must be me. Everyone else seems to get plenty dates, some MBs etc. I just get slightly uncomfortable first dates with no prospect of a second. I don't think I'm overly hideous to look at, I'm reasonably intelligent and sort of funny, but no one seems to fancy me (or me them!!)
I think I just wasn't meant to find anyone else if I'm honest, maybe I need to accept I'm in a tribe of 1.

sad self pitying rant over for now 🙄😁

Anyone able to help with my Badoo query?

I don’t have much to say on the dating front. I had a first date a few weeks ago. She was several years older than her photos and she just ranted about her ex over coffee for 45 minutes before I said that I really had to get back to work

I had another couple of dates a few weeks before that, one was nice but too quiet. The other was stunning, and a doctor, but angry with her father and her boss and her landlord. It took me some time to work out that they were different people

So I’m meh with dating. It’s tricky to find someone who’s funny, fanciable, and not bitter

Sorry cake I’ve never used badoo

Wow, that sounds like one angry woman Bant!

cake i cant offer much advice. i downloaded badoo and kept it for about 10 minutes, i didnt see any potential there.

it sounds like it could be people reacting to your picture with an emoji? or else, maybe the popular pictures have happy faces and unpopular have sad faces? sorry, not much help!

Angry but gorgeous. I could do with meeting a gorgeous doctor.

But one who wasn’t complaining about things all the time.

@Cakecrumbs I use badoo a lot, I've personally found it the best for me - what was the query sorry I can't find your previous post about it?

Cake I looked at Badoo briefly before I decided to come off all of the sites and see how things go with Mr DM. I think it's like a cross between a social networking site and a dating site; there's a kind of 'hot or not' voting type thing you can do and photos get 'graded' with a heart, smile or sad face depending on the reactions to them. I didn't actually use the site so no comment on how good it is though.

Thanks everyone.wishy I just seem to be struggling to navigate it in general.
Some profiles of men say they can't send messages, why would that be? It looks like anyone can send messages from my point of view. I've had a lot of likes but not any matches really and I'm just struggling to know whether just to treat it like Tinder or whether I should be looking at profiles of those that have liked mine? Seems a bit overwhelming, it says my profile isn't popular but I'd hate to be popular if that response is to an unpopular profile!

Sky and Runs it's bloody depressing but unless you're really lucky (or really not picky) it's a numbers game. I've had a lot of meh first dates, a couple I thought were ok but the bloke didn't want a second date and a few where they were really keen and I really wasn't. The vast majority of messages I got on PoF were from totally unsuitable blokes and/or ones I just wouldn't look at twice. There were a few I thought looked great but who never messaged me. It's really disheartening and a break is definitely essential every now and then. I would second whoever suggested keeping your profile(s) ticking over though even if you're not actively using it as you really don't know if/when someone great might join up.

Cake I think they do that 'your profile isn't popular right now' thing to get you to pay. It's the same on POF, the full sentence being '... but if you pay £29.99 we'll start actually showing it to people'.

halfdutch I wonder if the noshows were because the dates were arranged really quickly, so they were less invested in them? Different than if you had been chatting for a couple of weeks beforehand? Just a theory. Did you also confirm with them an hour beforehand? I do this to try and minimise flake outs.

Cake
I treat it a bit like tinder in terms of swiping left for definite no's and swiping right for likes
Message wise I've not instigated any to anyone but I've had tons of messages from guys some who have "matched" with me and others who haven't (from what I can tell anyone can message, I quite like this feature as it's made me chat to some really nice guys who I maybe wouldn't have considered but who have turned out to be really lovely and I've since arranged dates with!)
In terms of not being able to message now you mention it, when I first joined a guy I know through a friend of a friend jokingly facebooked me saying it would cost him 10 credits to speak to me on badoo! I don't really know what all that's about as I've never had to use any credits to speak to anyone on there?

I wouldn't worry about profile popularity, mine says I'm not very popular but at the same time it also says I've got over 12,000 "likes" and about 35 chats on the go. I think this is more a marketing ploy to try and get you to upgrade to their paid membership, much like i think there's an option to buy credits to make your profile featured and more visible.

What I would say is give it a chance, I very nearly deleted the app after the first day as it felt a bit useless but I stuck with it and got used to it and now I've actually got some really good chats on the go and 5 dates lined up from it!

Bendy wish that was the case! The no show on Saturday was actually a second date with Mr Perv, made more confusing because he actually messaged me a couple of hours beforehand to check if we could make it half an hour later and they said ‘see you soon’. He didn’t get run over by a bus as later that date I saw him ‘online’ on WhatsApp!

Tonight’s no show was someone I’ve been talking to for a few weeks so no excuse there either. Big sigh ...... next!!

Thanks. I shall stick with it and maybe play around a bit more tomorrow

Are there professions for women to be in that men find desirable and undesirable in general do you think?

Cake yeah stick with it, give it some time before making a decision! From what I've gathered on here, seems like different sites really work for different people. I hated POF but I know that's worked for others so I think it's all about just finding what works for you.
I find tinder utterly useless too but I'm trying to stick with that as I know a lot of people who've had lots of success on there!

Cake I'm not sure really, not something I've thought about
My badoo profile states I'm a managing director and a few guys have used that as an ice breaker but I'm not sure if it makes me more or less attractive

halfdutch have they explained or just ghosted you? Anyway, they aren't worth your time or headspace. Utter knobbers.

Definitely, Next! Keep spreading those eggs and remember that the OLD weirdness and flakiness of others is never your fault.

cake you aren't thinking of changing your profession are you? Or maybe you are overthinking? Most men never read profiles anyway, you could put Giant Panda toenail collector and they wouldn't notice.

Bendy haha that's very true although that would be a good conversation starter I suppose!

Bendy no, not thinking of changing my profession! I just sometimes mull things like that over in my head and wonder about things a little.
I'm really tempted by your suggestion though

wishy Truth is, I had an even better conversation starter, but felt I had to moderate it in case my sense of humour offended some people.

It's a miserable place when you have to do that.

halfdutch shame about the bus

cake if overthinking isn't prohibited by the rules, it should be! You can drive yourself crazy with that.

Not resembling Hagrid and proximity to a large city seem to be the biggest factors in success for a woman, ime. Honestly I thought it would be my size and age, but they, very weirdly, appear to be working in my favour.

I went on Badoo a while ago and found it a bit scary, I was surprised how busy it was but I was getting messages from people who lived miles away.

Today I am going to be tired and grumpy. Got kept awake most of the night and then had a horrible dream. Had a weird conversation last night with Mr Campervan about sharks 😬, he had been out drinking with a friend, I didn’t expect him to message me when he got home but it’s sweet that he was thinking about me.