Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

[Kinunir]

Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Oh my goodness, I just signed up to Badoo. Finding it a bit confusing, any experts want to give me an idiots guide to it? I tried the help page but it didn't help!
So why go my photos keep getting different emoji faces on them, they were sad then now I have the one with the love heart eyes

baumederose with respect, I called it the Sluts United Club after some female, yes female posters and I coined the phrase on PM. So it's an empowering word devised by women on here. I would never let a man tell me what to say or do, or call me anything. You cannot go accusing when you are plain wrong on the facts.

As a sop to the sanctimonious among you, why don't we all agree to reinstate the old Rule no 10 alongside the new one. It wasn't taken away to my knowledge for any reason. It was just part of a running joke, which those who have BEEN ON the thread recently will know.

Does that make everyone happy?

For the record, I've broken old Rule 10 already. Because I hate rules. Me, Val, halfdutch and wishywashy have set up a lesbian swinging choir and macrame circle. I invited kin but he didn't have a vagina, and is tone deaf so didn't want to join. We also play gigs, so PM me if you want to book us for music accompanied by naked crafting. Kirsty Allsop has been invited to join, but I haven't heard back yet.

I forgot daffo. She is the soprano.

Wishy washy

I never mentioned degrading or offensive.

I'm no prude. Believe me.

But this isn't a dating thread. It's been hijacked by a sex starved man getting kicks off a group of women.

Fair enough, we all have to deal with the smut, par for the course, we all get it.

But smut featuring on a group to support you with the dating too? I don't think so.

I remember the old days when rule #12 was ‘no macrame’

For the record, I've broken old Rule 10 already. Because I hate rules. Me, Val, halfdutch and wishywashy have set up a lesbian swinging choir and macrame circle. I invited kin but he didn't have a vagina, and is tone deaf so didn't want to join. We also play gigs, so PM me if you want to book us for music accompanied by naked crafting. Kirsty Allsop has been invited to join, but I haven't heard back yet.

Bendy you're quite extraordinary 😂😂😂

I've name changed, lurked on all these threads but never had the balls to post, I found the post about stuff dribbling down the chin particularly vile and offensive
I gave advice to a man on mumsnet once and we struck up a friendship, he totally love bombed me despite being at opposite ends of the country, I was dumped within an hour of sex after us eventually meeting and felt almost like I'd been groomed and it still affects me, I cannot believe the lengths some men will go to for sex and the lies they will tell
Comments like I previous stated make this feel like even less of a safe space for me now and I doubt I will read the threads any more
I'm the least prudish person you could meet and love some banter but seriously, that's so not appropriate

sugar I am sorry that happened to you but don't stop posting. The majority of us are posting for advice and it has been hugely supportive.

@Baumederose no I know you didn't but I just think the whole thing has been taken out of context

I'm aware this thread is primarily a support group but in any walk of life whether it be in the workplace, a friendship group or anywhere conversation evolves and moves with those partaking in it at the time.

The male in question directed his comments to the posters who were involved in the conversation at the time, all of whom
took it in the manner it was intended, but in amongst all that he's also been giving some fantastic support advice without the "smut"

I think for sake of peace keeping we should just agree to disagree. I work in a very male orientated environment so find that sort of banter par for the course, easy enough to put them in their place when necessary but in this case he seems to have done a runner anyway!

Bendy are you hiding him?!

I don't disagree. I like banter. And comedy way over the line of decency.

But the flicking the bean and dribbling are too far. As other posters say, this is a space to get support away from all that shit.

Lol wishy !

I think he is out on a date tonight!!

I can't see that expressing an opinion on something makes people "sanctimonious" or prudes or whatever other insults you want to sling around Bendy. You may have been on these threads for 6 weeks but a lot of people have been around a lot longer. Whether people post daily or weekly or monthly doesn't make anyone's contribuition any less valid. Nor does it make their voice any less valid when saying they are finding some of the posts unnecessary, crass and not appropriate. By all means engage in that banter. But if a lot of people are saying it makes them uncomfortable it's not necessary to throw insults around about having no sense of humour, being judgemental, sanctimonious or whatever else you've decided we are.

wishy to me, it’s the context.

I don’t really have a huge issue about smutty posts. It puts people off and it’s cringeworrhy, and should really be kept to a private forum.

It’s the removal of that rule, silently, with no discussion, in the context of those posts that makes it seem like people’s protections are being taken away with no notice, and there may be an ulterior motive behind that, If that makes sense.

The chin dribbling comments are just.. eww. But the silent removal of a rule that’s been there for years, that’s insidious.

Baum So just skip over it? He directed that at me because I innocently commented that he'd made me spit my tea out at a previous comment. It was a passing comment on the back of another which was in context with the conversation we were in the middle of?!

i’ve been a member of this thread for a year, but only recently have i been opening it, reading the posts and not wanting to contribute. i have noticed a lot of old/regular posters have stopped posting, even though they are still single.

a joke here and there is fine but pages and pages of sex jokes, unfunny pictures and innuendos are just a bit much. i understand it provides some fun for some posters but its excluding alot of people, even the title of this thread is quite crass. it doesnt feel inclusive of everyone anymore and that was the great thing about this thread!

I totally agree with this, I didn't post on the thread for the last week or so as it had just turned into a litany of sex jokes and crude innuendo. I like a bit of clever innuendo but it stops being funny when it's constant and crass. I don't really find the 'sluts' thing funny either but that's just me. I've been on these threads for a while and they have always offered great dating support and advice so I was genuinely sad to see it taken over with sleazy sex chat.

change here here.

also .. So it's an empowering word devised by women on here.

i would add it was devised by some women, maybe only 3 or 4 who in my eyes have been encouraging kin for whatever reason.

wishy he may have directed them at only a few posters, but we have all read them, and we all have to see them while we take part in the thread.

the removal of the certain rule is just sly and a little odd to be honest.

whether you agree about the tone of the “banter” or not, the fact is go back 3-4 threads or more and that tone is absolutely not there and for good reason.

Bant you see, I could take offence to the fact you've just made me feel like a filthy horrible human by saying "eww" to an activity I rather enjoy ...... but I won't

@esk1mo
I fully accept it's not to everyone's taste, personally I don't see why people can't just skip past it but really we could argue about it til the cows come home or we could just agree to get back to what the threads really here for
I don't know who makes the rules or who decides whats acceptable or not but I think it's going off topic now!

Anyone had any dates tonight?

I’m not saying eww to anyone enjoying it. I’m saying that this is a discussion forum for dating, not a forum for discussing your sexual tastes. It’s relationships, not sex.

The two are related of course, but if you want to just discuss sex then there is a place for that. If you want to discuss relationships, then there’s a place for that too.

Either way, don’t you see that people are looking at those posts and cringing?

The thread doesn’t belong to you. Or Kin. Or me. Or any one or two people here.

It does, however, have a history of being supportive and protective of people who are dating. There are rules and etiquette in place for that. If you want to discuss your sexual predilections with people then fine, but it makes people feel uncomfortable in this thread.

So why did Kin remove the no dating rule? Huh? Why that one?

It seems like grooming.

wishy it had got to the point where it was impossible to 'skip past it'. If you read the last thread the sex chat is pretty much continuous. I've been a regular poster up to then but that last thread changed beyond recognition and wasn't about dating any more. The title of this thread is pretty grim too. I'm mid-30s so far from old but if not wanting to be in a 'sluts club' or to encourage some middle-aged bloke's jizz fantasies on what is supposed to be a dating support thread makes me sanctimonious then meh, I guess I am.

Oh for goodness sake, enough already. Can we just back to the reasons we are all here and I will reiterate how great this thread is and has been for me over the past few weeks.

For the record Kin was extremely helpful to me in helping me rejig my Tinder profile recently, no smut or any sign of anything extra-curricular just helpful pointers from a male point of view.

I have been on many forums in the past and I’ve seen it happen over and over that some people form friendships and private jokes appear amongst the other things being discussed. Yes, I’m probably one of the 3 or 4 of us that as a humorous sideline to the rubbish we were receiving on OLD that SUC evolved.

I am not going to respond anymore to this issue that has now taken over this thread.

I am now going to attempt to get over the fact that not only have I been now stood up twice in a week but now find that the guy who I had been chatting to on Tinder all afternoon and was progressing very well has now suddenly unmatched me! This is obviously not my day!!

Well he's not here to answer so I guess speculating is pointless.

Think it's a shame that people seem intent only on either fighting or defending. A few people have posted their actual OLD experiences tonight and v few people, including those who say they want the thread to be supportive, have responded in a supportive way.

So I suggest someone start a new thread with a title they are happy with or I'm also outta here as I have enough shit in real life to wade through a thread of you all having a go at each other!

I'm another who used to post here under a different ID and have been completely put off by the last thread and a bit especially.

I am not a fan of Kin's talk or him changing rule 10 but I will say I think one female in particular was flirting with him long before the thread turned badly. And the few others of late haven't helped at all. You should all think about making a private PM FB group or something rather than taking over a whole thread which used to be entertaining and supportive.

Bant I think I'm on a completely different page to you I'm sorry I think it maybe Just wise to agree to disagree
Grooming?? We're adults, not cats

As far as I'm aware (and don't quote me on this because I genuinely didn't even know it had been done) the rule was changed as a joke. We've established we all have different ideas as to what constitutes a joke but to suggest he's grooming anyone to me seems totally ridiculous.

The thread primarily has remained supportive and continued to give advice. Shall we just get back to that?

@HalfDutchGirl ahhh maybe tomorrow will be better!
My tinder completely broke the other week and lost all my matches although did then restore a few but not all.
I suppose like with anything there are good days and bad days!