Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

[Kinunir]

Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Might have to look at bumble cool!

OK I need a talking to people. So I am going on date 2 with guy on Tuesday. We've messaged daily since date 1 and before that. I'm trying not to gets too into it too soon, but now it's making me twitchy that whenever I go on the app, he is online. We're chatting on WhatsApp now so he's obviously either got a few options or else is trying to have a few. Logic says this is normal and healthy but can't help feeling that maybe he's not that blown away with my awesomeness if he's trying this hard elsewhere? But also I don't really know yet if I'm that blown away with him so I'm talking crap right? Lol 😂

Poor you love - spoil yourself tonight

mum it's normal. You may even get to date 6/7/8 before you have the exclusive chat. It's difficult I know but perfectly normal

Mum write down rule number three 100 times and read it back to yourself every five minutes until it sinks in!

You've only had one date so far so of course it is his right to be looking elsewhere and continuing other conversations. If you are not doing the same - and perhaps you should be - I bet he'd be very surprised!

He's only met you once so he's seen mere glimpses of your awesomeness so far - reveal more and more as you get to know him better and remember rule number seven and check he is as awesome as you need him to be.

Thank you! I needed that. Lol... Goes off to read number 3 again 😁👆

... And number 7!lol

So I switched POF back on for a bit. Same old faces, a message from a old iron and not much else.

Well Mr Shiftworker messaged a couple of times this morning and then has disappeared again for the usual 24 hours...

Thanks for the advice though - why should i be worried about keeping him interested. I am the prize, right? He can worry about keeping me interested... and right now, I'm getting bored...

Mr Traveller... he who suggested while messaging on Friday that he would like to call me on Sunday... has not messaged for 2 days. I refuse to chase him... so that was shortlived.

Love hope you're ok. well done for trying. The bloke who encouraged you to go but then didn't turn up is a cockwomble.

Sod this, I'm off to bed. Tomorrow is another day
xx

To me, it’s important that a woman is funny. I’m funny, I like to make people laugh. I want to be with someone who wants to make me laugh, who sees the importance of humour in getting through the shit that life throws at us.

It’s one of the most important things to me, to be honest. Fanciable and funny. If I come away from a first date and they didn’t make me even smile at something they said, then I don’t ask them out again.

Hey all... I was on the thread last year, ended up in a relationship that wasn't right for lots of reasons so called time on it back in May. I've lurked on here for a while. I've been on dates with a few people since then - unfortunately I found out that one had a long term girlfriend which he declined to let me know about until he was caught out! I am taking a break for the summer and just enjoying my time with my little ones. I'll be looking for profile reviews in September :) I am learning a lot from this whole experience and generally happy with my instincts, and my ability to listen to my gut is getting better. I definitely would've blamed myself for the 'weirdness' last year whereas I'm a lot more logical in my analysis now...

Also, shitwithsugaron, I know I'm a woman as well but I find humour the most attractive thing and generally that has been my experience with guys too. I'm not a fan of overuse of huge heavy sarcasm though as I sometimes find that it masks deeper vicious nature, but I love quick quips, silly humour and a bit of gentle good natured teasing. I work in healthcare though which is notorious for rather strange humour...

I went on a date with one guy who was great on paper and wrote long, thoughtful messages, I could tell that he was genuinely kind but no attempt at humour at all. I went on the date to test the water but it was just flat, even though he was sweet there was no way I'd have dated him again as he was just too serious.

Humour isn't the most important thing to me shit but there definitely has to be some there in the mix. I much prefer clever witticism, euphemism and sarcasm to corny jokes though - intellectual banter > memorised fluff.

I've on been on here a day but wondered if I could ask some questions??

Bearing in mind I am 37 I have only had 2 long relationships, the first for 4 years and I have my son (21) and then my marriage which was 17 years but 19 together and I had my daughter (15), I have not ever really dated so please forgive any stupid questions.

Does everyone follow the rule about meeting first in a public place or has anyone just gone to someone's house?
I am on a paid for dating site in the hope any weirdos wont join a paid for site!!!!

Is it common to send nudes nowadays? It all seems a bit odd to me but if its the norm I need to get used to it.

I am only looking for sex and not a full on relationship so maybe the answers are different??

Does everyone follow the rule about meeting first in a public place or has anyone just gone to someone's house?

As a male, I have done this and so have some of the women on this thread but it's not something that I would particularly recommend from a safety point of view.

If you do, I'd suggest getting their surname and address in advance and checking them out, giving those details to a friend and spending some time with them in a pub, etc., before going back, just to give your intuition time to kick in.

Is it common to send nudes nowadays?

Not something i've ever done, or would do, primarily as I wouldn't want them to find their way onto the internet, especially as I work in a profession where that would be a serious issue!

Use your own judgement though - right and wrong are what you think they are, not what an internet stranger says.

sorting I think it's best for first dates to be in a public place and no, nudes are not the norm, people that ask for them or send them are usually after one thing.

I think I have lost my dating mojo.
Woke up feeling crap about everything. I'm angry about Mr Camper who seems to have ghosted me. Why couldn't be have jist been honest instead of messing me around? I won't miss him as such, I don't think I had feelings for him, I'm just angry because of the way he has treated me and because he wasted my time. He can't even be bothered to text me to say he's not interested. He has gone away with friends but has had time to post on his fb page so is obviously ignoring my text or has blocked me. Stupidly looked at his fb page and there are photos of me on there from some of our dates. Just feeling bruised Years day just tipped me over the edge. Felt so lonely. Sometimes I really miss just having someone to hold me and tell me all is going to be ok.

lovemusic I would really urge you to do some work on your own personal resilience before you open yourself up to more experiences like with Mr CV. Maybe explore more FWB type arrangements for a while until you feel stronger emotionally? Said with kindness.

love it's ok to wallow a bit. Yesterday sounded rough. It is them not you though. You're great for getting on out there and giving it a go with a good heart. If Mr camper and any other loser can't see it, then rule 7 applies! They are not worthy.

Have a virtual hug in the meantime

Oh love I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so down. You did so well yesterday to even get out of your car & give it a go. I agree with others that you should take some time out to work on yourself... It never sounded like Mr CV could give you the attention that you wanted or deserved... it is better to find someone who can. x

Thanks guys. I have been here many times before, I know I will be ok in a day or 2.

He has now messaged me back after I sent him a message saying I'm done. I haven't even opened his message so have only seen the first line which is the beginning of an excuse for not messaging. I'm not too g to bother opening it. If he can't be bothered to send me a simple text yesterday yet had time to post photos on fb he obviously isn't interested.

I will take a bit of a break. I am on POF bit I haven't got time to date for a couple weeks anyway. I'm off on holiday next week and in a way it will be nice not having to worry about texting someone whilst I'm away.

I was chatting to an apparently nice guy. Some nice sexy banter when he asked me to video my "down belows". I said no way, wherupon he said he'd never speak to me again if I didn't.

His tone was hostile but I honestly thought he must be joking. Nope. I was blocked on WhatsApp.

Really I think some of these guys have been influenced by the FSOG Christian Grey bollocks.

Sorting I wouldn’t assume that just because you’re on a paid dating site it will stop the weirdos! In fact the two worst dates I had were from people I met through paid sites!! You get weirdos everywhere!

Shit Humour and good banter is a huge thing for me and I think for a lot of guys too. I had a date on Saturday, he was ok, not my usual type to be honest but we had such a brilliant laugh and the banter was full on that by the evening I saw him in a totally different light. Even this morning we’re having a random hilarious text conversation. I know it’s not for everyone but I can get turned off completely by a total stud muffin who has zero sense of humour.

Love why don't you open the message, read what he has to say, reply and get some closure. That way you can move on, enjoy your holiday and start afresh - good luck

Val I think I already have closure, I don't want to read it as I know he's man I g up excuses for not messaging when really there is no excuse, I can see that he saw my message. I was about to block him when he sent the last message, I wish I had. The message I sent before he sent it basicly said that I'm done and I wished him luck for the future. Really there was no need for him to reply.

I'm going to keep busy, start packing for my holiday and spend time with friends rather then stressing about dating. I need a break from it all.