Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

[Kinunir]

Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Runs sorry, I can't remember the back story with MrEx, I assume you had been together before, who got in touch with whom?
vet wow, love how many dates you've lined up in such a short space of time.
shit haha, sounds like you are having fun.
Anyone got anything exciting planned for the weekend?
I'm still being good and staying away from dating and associated websites. I'm spending time hopefully building myself back up again and finding my feet. Not easy but I think it's for the best, I need to start enjoying life again without a man taking up all of my head space (I'm terrible for letting them consume me!)
Weekends are going to be tough but I'm sure I'll get used to it! Got some nice plans with friends, nothing too exciting but will break it up a little

I've only got one date to go this week (just as well, I only have one clean shirt left!). Next week I have to go into the office 1-5 days and can't plan anything until I know exactly when my presence is required :(

Hope everyone else has a cracking weekend!

kin any hope for further dates from the ones you have been on?

It's me cake - there's always hope :)

Seriously though, I've spent time with friends this week so tonight will only be the 4th date of the week. Of the three I've seen so far, two will want to see me again and one is a possible.

@kin I'm impressed with your dedication and conversion rate !

@cakecrumbs, I'm same as you. Having a breather. August has lots of nice plans with family and friends. I also over invest and let them take up too much headspace.
I'm a month no contact with someone who messed with my head. And finally feel better about it.

I think my fancy fatigue is coming to an end though ! Totally fancied the man who sorted my tyres at the garage today- that never happens to me in real life :-).

I'm impressed with your dedication and conversion rate !

Very atypical this week on the conversation rate - it's normally closer to 0% (call me fussy!)

cool glad you are finally feeling a bit better. I had my heart broken, he wanted to stay friends and usually I'd just agree to that but I said no and I definitely think I will heal quicker with no contact, I'm at the angry stage just now, don't think he ever recognised my worth and I deserve someone that does!

Haha kin I like your confidence that so many will want to see you again, how can you tell? I could never tell if someone wanted to see me again!

What does it mean when it's been almost a week since your first date with a guy, he carried on messaging you daily, but hasn't suggested a second date??

I'm a cool guy cake, thats why*

I can normally tell whether someone wants to see me again or not - I'm quite perceptive. For a bloke.

*actually, I'm like marmite - like me or hate me :)

@dating divvy - just ask and then you'll know one way or another if you're wasting your time.

@cake, I'm sorry to hear you've been through the mill too. I'm still recovering. He went no contact with me in the end, hard but the right thing.
He was very intense and then went very cold. So tough as we had an amazing connection.
It's getting easier. I'm chuffed with myself that it's nearly 4 weeks now.

@cool I didn't want to be the 'chaser' (I've been reading too much Why Men Love Bitches).

Why would a man not suggest a second date yet keep chatting? Am I being naive?

Cakecrumbs I dated Mr Ex for most of last year. Out of the blue he dumped me then almost immediately started seeing someone else. Posting selfies of themselves on Facebook etc. I accused him of cheating because I didn't believe he could meet someone and get so serious with them so quickly after ending it with me. It got a bit nasty. He blocked me on everything.
Then he suddenly reappears a few weeks ago. Apologizes for upsetting me. Says he wants to be friends but we end up having a passionate snog.
I then get the silent treatment again. Until he messages with lots of apologies for getting carried away. We meet again and discuss how we're still attracted to each other but don't want to get back into a relationship. We agree FWB would be good.

I asked if he was free to meet at the weekend. He disappeared into his man-cave again. And now says all of this is a bad idea. I haven't responded to his last message. Not sure if it's worth a reply.
He's a good bloke but he has a fear of commitment. I know his backstory, so I understand some of it. But I think I need to just leave him to work this out for himself.

Runsforcake Mr Ex sounds like a CF.

Yes I agree with divvy

I was meant to meet Mr Music tonight but he vomited on the way (with pictorial proof lol) so seeing him tomorrow instead. Him and me have really hit it off. I really hope he isn't a player but I have a deep down feeling he is telling me what I want to hear. Need to meet him to see.

Mr IT keeps messaging- No suggestion of a meet up but did say I would see him some time this week. Want to see how Mr Music goes really as I find it hard to multi date

Mr Book on bumble wants a drink next week

Mr festival I have messaged back. Think he will meet up as he looks fun .

Like kin can't quite plan next week yet till I know what is happening with work so we will see on Monday

Have no idea why bumble has suddenly started working for me after bloody ages

This stupid f'ing app on my phone keeps taking out my grammar and punctuation. Sorry it's so hard to read

Vet, I don’t think it’s a good idea to drop a note through Mr DM’s letter box. If he is ignoring you, it will make you look desperate. If there’s something going on with him, he won’t reply or even receive it. Either way I think you’ll just be left confused and without any satisfactory conclusion.

I understand your concern - I’d be concerned too - but chances are he’s an arsehole and is ghosting you.

Hi all, I've been reading but not posting much lately. Been too busy dating, lol!

runs Mr Ex is at best confused and at worst, just using you. You are worth more than that.

Daffo for someone who finds it hard to multi date, you are doing a fine job!

Why do you think Mr Music is a player and only telling you what you want to hear?

Cakecrumbs I'm so glad to see you took the advice I gave you when you came on here, and are now looking after yourself and your self esteem first and foremost. It's important to start from a point of strength and not weakness with OLD because it can be so brutal.

DatingDivvy just ask him out on a second date! Easy.

I can't be doing with waiting around for someone, if they don't ask for a date I'll ask them, if they're not interested then at least I know and can move one. I can't be doing with playing games!

Nothing to be gained by trying to analyse why he's still texting!

runs he might be confused but you really don't deserve to be treated like that.

bendy thanks, it actually feels quite nice to be trying to take care of myself without trying to fit someone else into the picture.

good for you Cakecrumbs. Heal first, rebuild, and date later!

@divvy, agree with Dutch. I'm am advocate of Why men love Bitches too. But sometimes you just need to know, so you don't waste time. Being true to yourself alongside the advice in the book is that I do.

I had a good first date recently and he was still chatting. So I just gave a hint by saying to him I had a lovely time on our date - then told me he wasn't interested. No probs, at least I knew. So no idea why he was still chatting !

Why would a man not suggest a second date yet keep chatting? Am I being naive?

There's a lot of men out there who fear rejection so, instead of taking a chance, they will wait until they are 100% certain you will say yes to the second date (but are then useless at reading the signs).

As others have said, take the initiative because, contrary to that book's title, no man I know likes bitches!

a guy told me recently that the thrill of a challenge is hard to resist kin !

But I'm not into playing hard to get. It seems too much like game playing to me. I'd rather just be myself and straightforward. I haven't read that book, but my preference is just to follow the thread rule "remember I'm the prize".