Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

[Kinunir]

Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

vet he didn’t say he won’t be coming, he’s probably waiting for me to say “don’t worry about it”. I’m tempted to tell him not to bother. Every time one of his family members shouts he goes running even if it’s something he can’t really help with (this isn’t the first time), he seems to be on call to them at all times. If I don’t see him tonight I won’t be seeing him for another week as he is going away next week and I’m away at the weekend. I have a feeling he will turn up, take me somewhere quick to get something to eat and then vanish. Not sure if I can really be bothered, would rather get a take away and eat by myself without feeling rushed.

Vet if you know where he lives then I'd be tempted to take a little drive and see if he's home. Maybe drop a note through the letter box asking if he's ok.

Love that's not good. Just try not to get stressed about it. If he turns up, great. If not then enjoy an evening to yourself.

I'm getting the run around with Mr Ex today. I sent him a text last night. No reply until lunchtime today. I then asked if he was free at the weekend. Read but no reply. Later I decided to ask if we could have a chat this evening to clarify things. Again read but ignored. And he's been on and off WhatsApp all day.
I'm trying to be patient but he has only a few hours before I turn up on his doorstep looking for some answers.

Runs I hope you get a reply soon, nothing worse than seeing your message has been read and getting no reply, it doesn’t take long to send a few words even if it’s “I’m busy, talk later”.

I’m trying not to stress about Mr Camper, he will probably turn up at some point, I’m more annoyed as I’m hungry, haven’t eaten much all day because I struggle to eat much when I go out (wanted to be starving so I can actually eat something). If he’s not here by 7pm I will be getting myself a Indian.

Maybe drop a note through the letter box asking if he's ok.

Should I?! I don't want to come off like a psycho stalker who can't take a hint 😕 Normally I wouldn't even consider it but this is just so bloody strange and radically opposed to his usual behaviour towards me. I can handle him not wanting to see me again but I'd genuinely like to know that he's ok so I can hate him with a clear conscience.

Runs I hope Mr Ex has a good explanation.

Vet* I'm with the note - nothing heavy just asking for a text to say he is ok

Just seen this and had a little chuckle.

love I would forget it. He's making you feel crap when it should be fun. Decide your boundaries. Or text him something like "I'm going to take some time out of this. I can't tell what you want which is making me feel confused."

Do you all 'play it cool'? I've been messaging every day with the second date next week guy. Not always me messaging first but I am worried I am way over investing as its nice. Should I just message if I want to and not worry so much or try and be less available?

Love I'd back off from Mr CV now I think. From your posts he's not making you happy, he's making you feel unimportant and you seem to be investing time and hope into him changing which he doesn't appear to be doing

Mum depends on the guy and the vibe I'm getting from them. I've had 2 dates now with Mr 24 but we chat most days quite a lot. Conversation seems to go off on tangents and flows really well with lots of laughter so I don't worry about pestering him as he messages me just as much. We're both very busy so if he reads a message and doesn't reply I don't stress over it as I know he will eventually and I often do the same to him.
I don't put any effort into the ones where it's all just "how's your day?" Small talk bores me so if I don't have anything of particular interest to say to someone I tend to not bother.

Hm... I might post something. I'm not sure about going there myself. Better get ready to meet Mr Hotel now, I'm not really in the mood but he seems like a nice enough guy and we're going to a Lebanese/Turkish place that I love so it's not all bad

Hey all! Started a separate thread as below, but zero response, so thought I'd try on here. Zoosk or eharmony, hmm, what a choice!

Hi. Have just gone through the rigmarole of the eharmony joining/matching process, only to encounter the payment options at the end (wish dating sites were more upfront about these at the start). It seems quite steep - anyone out there who would happily recommend it ... or not?!
Please feel free to come back to me with other options too. Have already tried Match, POF, OkCupid (hated that one) and Soulmates (which also proved a waste of time, as I'm not in London).
Of all of these, Match was my preferred site, but I got fed up of seeing the same faces, so wanted a fresh start elsewhere.
I thought about Zoosk too, but not sure. I should add that my mobile is a brick, so I can't do any of the app based sites. Desktop only please!
In the first instance, it would be great to hear about your eharmony experience, as it takes quite a long time to register.
Many thanks.

Mr Ex has finally messaged to say he's out this evening but will text later.
Why he couldn't just say that this morning, I don't know. Now a simple request for a chat has turned into a big drama. Which was exactly what I was trying to avoid.

Dieu I've registered with eHarmony but never paid. There was almost no one on there anywhere near me.
I've only ever heard bad reviews about it.

Thanks cake I too share your suspicions about eharmony. It's annoying though, because unless you do pay up, you don't get to see who's out there. At least Match will let you browse without a fully paid up subscription.
I actually really like the look of Zoosk, and the members in my area, but many reviews seem to mention fake profiles, so who knows. And like Match, you have to pay up to be able to send or receive messages (i.e. it's not actually the freebie that some think it is).

Well he turned up, went for something to eat quickly, back to mine for half an hour (drink in the garden) and now he’s gone home.

Didn’t really get a chance to talk. He snuck into conversation about when he split with his last girlfriend which was very interesting, sounded like she got fed up with him wanting to be centre of attention and not getting enough from him although he made out she was needy. From what I can gather he wants all the benefits of a relationship but only at times it suits him. I think I’m going to just back right off and concentrate on other things, I’m looking forward to the weekend as I have lots planned and I’m off on holiday soon.

I think when you meet someone who has had lots of short relationships you need to ask yourself “why?” There is usually a reason, I think for Mr Campervan it’s because he’s not that thoughtful and probably likes to put himself first. He’s going to have to put a lot more effort in to get another date out of me.

Good on you love

What a fucking palaver it all is!!!! Take care of yourself Love. Makes me want to get back into crochet. 😏

Sounds like you're quite clear headed about Mr Camper Love which is really good. I think you deserve more than he's currently offering you. Minimal effort isn't attractive.

Dieu I've never heard anything good about eharmony unfortunately. Expensive, faffy and not many users is the usual consensus.

Runs did Mr Ex get in touch?

I've just had a surprisingly lovely evening with Mr Hotel. We had the most gorgeous food and he is great company. Physically he's not my usual type - he's very slim build and really young looking even though he's a year older than me - but he's attractive and intelligent and we have loads in common. I felt a definite spark and he did too - he just sent me a really nice message. We looked up at one point and realised that we hadn't noticed that the crowded restaurant had emptied out around us and we were the last ones there. I definitely want to see him again - he's invited me down to where he lives (about 40 minutes away). He's blown Mr Kitesurfer from last night out of the water

Still want to speak to Mr DM though... I think I'm going to write a note tomorrow and decide if actually sending it is a good idea or if that way madness lies.

Well done love what a pallava!

dieu eharmony is a total waste of time, don't even bother

Well all my chats are drying up. Mr Sex called me from the airport to double check I was still on for our second date when he gets back from his trip which was surprisingly thoughtful lol. But I still think he's a player. He will have to do a lot to convince me he isn't.

Mr Holiday sent me a message but he isn't back in the UK till September.

Went out tonight with mr quiet who is lovely but not my type.

2 people left chatting from bumble- will call them Mr IT who seems ok but I need to meet him to tell (has a beard and I hate beards) and Mr Kiwi who appears one dimensional but I don't know.

Matched tonight with 2 more who aren't my type physically but have v similar interests to me so will message them tomorrow.

I'm annoyed in a way as I have 2 clear weeks where I could meet up with people and other than Mr Sex right at the end of the 2 weeks, I can't see anything moving towards a date fgs

Thanks folks. I am pleased to report that I didn't pay up to eharmony in the end. Phew.

Has a sneaky look on POF last night to see if there’s any new faces, couldn’t find anyone interesting.

A few days ago someone started talking to me on a Fb group I belong too. Said he knew me but I didn’t recognise him from his photo, then realised it was one of dd’s friends dads. He looked much fitter in his photo then he did last time I saw him (3 years ago) which is why I didn’t recognise him. He has been single a lot longer than me, I was friends with his ex wife until she moved away. I am likely to bump into him at the weekend at a event I am going too.

I think I will continue have not a break from OLD until the end of the summer holidays. I’m not sure what will happen with Mr Camper, he seems to think that he will have more time after the summer and will be around more (his job is busy in the summer) but I don’t think I will be waiting around in hope he shows me more attention in September.

Mr Ex finally got in touch.
We agreed last week that we'd try FWB/casual dating. Now he says he thinks that isn't a good idea.
It's clear he likes me, we get on well and are attracted to each other. But he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. I don't know why as he's never explained. And he doesn't want to date anyone else.
His message was vague about what he wants but I think he'd like to be friends but is worried about hurting me.

I'm just going to back off and leave him alone now. He knows where to find me when he works out what he's after.

Runs how confusing for you, maybe back off and give him time to work out what he wants, sounds like he doesn’t really know himself, not ideal for you, I know I would be tearing my hair out and feeling confused.