Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

[Kinunir]

Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Daffo, these weren't pictures of you stroking a doped-up tiger or a fish you just caught, were they?

Another question, should I have a couple of lines on who I'm hoping to find on my POF profile?

I'd suggest it's better to invest your prose into describing who you are as that will work better for you in terms of getting conversations started.

Once you are messaging, you can filter for the type of woman you are looking for.

Would the fact this isn't there put someone off?

Depends on how you word it. I've seen far too many female profiles that come across as quite negative when describing what they are not looking for and so I think it's a section best omitted.

Now I'm unsure what I'm supposed to do

You do whatever you feel is right. Overthinking and second guessing yourself is what can cause problems, not keeping your options open|hiding your profile.

Kin, fancy casting your eye at my profile?

Sure, PM me the link Dan

My date last night with Mr Kitesurfer went well, he asked if I'd like to see him again before the end and I said yes so will do date 2 early next week. He's funny, interesting and the conversation flowed all evening. He's also tall, fit and good looking which didn't hurt either! Still got Mr Hotel tonight, Mr Brazil tomorrow and Mr Posh Saturday daytime.

vet you have a busy week, not sure how you manage it, I would be stressed out with so many dates and would probably get confused with names.

I spent last night texting Mr Weirdo as Mr Camper was busy, all was going well and then he got funny with me about not meeting him sooner (we have been talking on and off for ages) and kept saying “don’t you want to meet me?” ,he sounds a bit desperate, I have tried to arrange to meet him but we both always seem to be busy.

Mr Camper messaged me when he got back from paddleboarding and send me a photo of him and his mate saying ‘*** can’t wait to meet you next time’. He’s really confusing me, who does he want to introduce me to his friends as? His friend, his girlfriend, some floozy he picked up on POF? . Anyway, he’s coming over tonight to take me out for dinner, only problem being he wants to go somewhere nice to eat and there isn’t anywhere near me. Last time we ate out he moaned about the food. We shall see how things go and I will try and talk to him but if he blows cold like the last time I saw him I will probably walk away, I don’t want to be his friend (I have enough friends from OLD).

I am so excited for you shit. I love that feeling!

I am very unphotogenic dan or mainly the problem is i have no one useful to take pics of me! The kids take dreadful photos lol. I keep telling them to do a better job ;) or maybe I am just weird looking!

I am generally more successful in real life (the old way, you know eons ago when we used to pull in pubs/bars!). I just need to get out there more....but don't have the time and no one does it that way much nowadays! Anyway..

I now have 4 bumble chats ongoing with new people and I am mixing all of them up fgs

4 on whatsapp different to the above- Mr quiet who was from a few weeks ago but I never met, Mr Holiday who was the bloke I shagged last week, Mr persistent who I am going to bin and Mr New who is trying to decide if I am not mad then he will meet me (rolls eyes)

1 chat left on POF with a bloke who likes travelling

Now I'm back I need to try and arrange meet ups

Mr Sex is away for 10 days so won't hear much from him

love I think introducing someone to mates is a big thing. Perhaps he's trying to show he's serious about you? I would see that as a huge thing

I hope so Daffo, that’s what I thought too but I’m getting so many mixed messages from him, he seems to be blowing hot and cold, one minute treating me like we are in a relationship and the next treating me like I’m a mate. Would love to know what’s going on in his head.

I would love some the excitement shit is getting

shit - enjoy every minute of it. You don't have to have the exclusivity chat just yet but there would be no harm in deactivating/hiding profile on POF if you could do without the distractions?

Love - go for dinner & see how things go, he is sending very mixed messages and I think it is perhaps good to have a talk with him about this when you see him in a nom confrontational way - so casually throw into conversation, "you know, I can't work you out..... I'm not sure if you want a friend to hang out with or if you're actually looking g to date" or something along those lines, I am no expert at this kind of thing but I am learning to be more upfront with guys and you'd be suprised how well received this can actually be...... second guessing and assuming is just the absolute worst. I found an amazing quote the other day "Before you assume, try this crazy method called asking" 🤣😂 - I am like queen of assuming when it comes to guys. It's never as bad as I imagine in my head and sometimes I am suprised by the response..... communication is key 😊💕

Dan - I agree with Kin, there is nothing more off putting for me than a bloke who reels off a list of wants or dislikes. The exception to this is that I know whether or not to pursue, so if a guy clearly states in his profile he is looking for fun or marriage then I'd probably avoid as that is not what I'm looking for......

In my own profile I put a short line in about "here to date", which is enough to let guys know that I'm not just looking for a hookup (although i still get the chancers 😂😂)

If you want to have a mental checklist of the things you are looking for you can weave this into your initial chat in a natural way, that way you can work out if this person is going to be what you are looking for. If that makes sense 😊👌

love I agree with Vixen casually throwing it into the conversation is a great idea. It won't appear to be a serious talk straight away so he hopefully won't just automatically go into joke mode!

Back in March I got approached on POF by a younger but attractive guy. We chatted a lot on WhatsApp but he was online a lot, blowing hot and cold.

Our first get together he never showed up. After an Just hope you're ok message I left it. I was blocked and his profile deleted.

Two weeks later he pops up apologising and being at a low ebb I was grateful for the diversion. Yes sad.

So we have a night of passion I have yet to match. What followed is angst, analysis, games, hot and cold. Shall I shan't I message etc.

One morning not long ago I awoke to see a picture of a woman where his profile used to be.

Since then, there have been many pictures of the pair of them all loved up.

The point of me posting this sad (for me) tale is the He's Just Not That Into You theory.

Once he met someone he really wanted he wanted everyone to know it and the booty or attention seeking messages stopped completely! So don't angst too much people. I did and wish I'd followed my gut.

vet you have a busy week, not sure how you manage it, I would be stressed out with so many dates and would probably get confused with names.

I wouldn't normally do 4 consecutive days Love but they all seem nice and I need to take my mind off wondering what the hell has happened to Mr DM. I only do fairly short and casual first dates so it's nothing heavy with any of them at this stage. I am going to have to get up at 5.45am tomorrow to fit in a CrossFit class as well as the morning dog walk before work though as all my evenings have been wiped out

Vet have you not heard a thing from Mr DM? That is very strange indeed

Nothing Val, literally not a peep. It's been 2 weeks now. Prior to this he was in contact every day except for the few days he was in hospital back in March. Messages on WhatsApp are delivered but not read (2 grey ticks) and his phone goes to voicemail (I did try to call him in the end). He doesn't have the last active time stamp thing on WhatsApp but I would usually see him online a few times a day but nothing now. I check it a lot and haven't seen him showing as being online once. He has vanished. I don't know whether to be sad, angry, worried or all three.

Vet I too would be feeling all 3 - any chance he might be married ? Do you know anyone that knows him just so you can put your mind at rest that he is ok?

No we don't have anyone in common at all, I wish we did! He could be married, I mean I can't 100% say that he's not, but I think it's very very very unlikely.

This is our last WhatsApp interaction. He messaged as normal with an x, I replied and then nothing... it's just so fucking weird

Vet yes that is totally weird - I really hope you get an answer otherwise you'll always be left wondering - just an idea - have you looked for him on OLD?

Vet that's very weird that he's just disappeared like that. I'd want to know what happened.
On WhatsApp you can turn off your read receipt as well as last seen. So the ticks never turn blue. Freaked me out the first time I saw it!
But if you press and hold the last message you sent, it should bring up a menu at the top of the screen. In the right corner are 3 dots. Press them and it gives you the option of copy or Info. If you press Info it tells you when the message was delivered and when it was read.
Not sure if this will work without the blue ticks but could be worth a try.
Also have you tried getting someone else to call him. So he doesn't recognise your number.

well Mr Camper was meant to be coming over after work, just messaged me to say he got half way and realised he forgot to bring money somwent back and now his sister has called him with a problem (nothing major) so I’m not sure when or if he’s coming. Sat here like a lemon, fed the kids early sorted out child care probably for nothing or he will get here and have to go again after an hour.

His profile is still on POF but it doesn't say if he's active or not. It hasn't changed at all since we met. He's not on Tinder or Bumble. Runs I didn't know that! I just tried it and it says the messages were delivered but not read. I've tried getting a friend to call him as well from a number he doesn't know - voicemail every time. Short of posting him a letter or turning up on his doorstep like a psycho I don't think there's anything I can do. He told me exactly where he lives although I've not actually been there.

Oh god Love how shit. Did he not say if he'd be coming afterwards or not??