Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

[Kinunir]

Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Looks are important, in that you have to find someone attractive. Not in the you have to look like Ryan Reynolds/Eva Mendes sense, but the swiping apps are primarily looks based. Being attractive and also intelligent and funny aren't mutually exclusive either, but different people have very different ideas of what constitutes attractive so there's hope for us all.

What makes me roll my eyes is the multitude of tall men who think that all they have to do is mention their height. I see so many profiles that literally just say '6'3' or whatever in the bio. If your height is the only interesting thing about you then you're in trouble.

I have a date with Mr Kitesurfer tonight; we haven't spoken a huge amount but he seems interesting. He's a bit older than I usually go for at 44 so we'll see. Then have Mr Hotel tomorrow night, Mr Brazil on Friday and Mr Posh has asked if I'm free at the weekend. It's keeping my mind off Mr DM anyway... kind of.

Being attractive and also intelligent and funny aren't mutually exclusive either

That's a very good point that got missed out in the earlier discussion.

I ought to get off my backside and sort some more dates arranged. Had an amazing one Sunday and a very good one on Monday. Tomorrow I'm meeting someone in the morning who wants to befriend me and talk about dating strategy and then dinner with a friend in the evening, so must get something in the diary for the weekend...

Kin how are you managing to get so many dates? Not jealous at all.

Intelligence and good looks are hard to come by.

I only message people who look really interesting and have decent length profiles love. From that, I concoct quite lengthy messages (easily 100 words, maybe a lot more) that are specifically aimed at their profiles, including a minor compliment perhaps, something funny and a few different questions which give them many different ways to reply to me.

Once a conversation gets going I flirt hard and ask them out 3-5 messages in. It doesn't work every time of course but I've always believed that fortune favours the bold and bold I am.

Also, because looks aren't everything to me, I message an awful lot of people too.

I reckon, when I'm in the mood, I send maybe 40 messages a week from which I'll get about 20-25 replies. From that, I'll get 5-6 dates.

@kin, I'm impressed at your rate, I'm probably a date a week at full pelt but lost mojo a bit last few weeks

Kin you must get RSI from all that messaging

kin do you mind me asking, as I'm new to all this, do you end up long term dating or are you not looking for that? I can't imagine seeing that many different people partly because of time but also just sounds a bit hard work juggling different people.

I know a friend of mine who saw a lot of people but she ws quickly filtering out men she wasn't into and met her now husband after not too long.

Im going on date number 2 next week. I'm chatting to another guy but if I like MrDate2, then not sure I'd be asking MrChat out until I know it wasn't going to go anywhere. I am not naive, just trying to understand it and wondering what it all means!

God sorry, that was long.

There's a few elements at play behind those figures right now Mum, the main one of which is the fact that I'm on gardening leave so have an awful lot more time on my hands right now than I otherwise would.

Also, my main 'weakness' is that I don't have the patience to filter through endless messaging - I'd rather go on a date and suss someone out that way.

Behave Val!

That makes sense kinand don't think it sounds like a weakness. My friend who did it successfully was of exact same mind.

Hello! I was on the dating threads back last year and I really enjoyed the support given. I was on POF amongst a few other sites but POF was the best for my area.
The guys I met, let alone spoke to, made me wonder if I'd ever meet anyone normal ever again! But I did last September and we are 7 weeks off of our first anniversary!
Just wanted to check back in to say keep going. It will happen at some point. I am the happiest I ever been
The story with my ex H is completely different story but hey, I can't have it all!

Kin I do behave myself

purple that's lovely! Thanks for sharing and giving everyone hope!

Yes thank you so much for sharing Purple - there is hope in the world of OLD

Great to hear a good story purple, I don’t think I will ever find anyone.
Mr Camper just messaged me and called me ‘buddy’, says it all really ,if tomorrow’s date doesn’t go anywhere then I shall be calling up my FWB (a woman has needs). I did have a little peep on POF the other day but my profile is hidden, I’m just too busy to date at the moment with the kids being home.

Once a conversation gets going I flirt hard

That's interesting kin I don't actually like the flirting. I like to have a nice conversation and see if we "gel" that way. I actually get put off if there's too much flirting. And I think that's because all the times I've met up with someone who was very flirtatious the date either bombed or I was ghosted. I'm meeting Mr Travel on Monday for coffee. He hasn't flirted at all, but our conversations have flowed.

purple that's really lovely news!

tom I am with you, too much flirting makes me want to vomit. Especially if I haven't met the person before. I am happy to engage in a bit of cheeky flirtation, I hate being told how I am. It turns me off.

i like to be asked about things, I like to have humour, and I like someone who can keep a conversation going and start one.

The "you are so sexy" "do you know you are beautiful" messages or ones that think its a given I will meet them early on, really turn me off. Some light hearted sexual inneundos do not bother me, but if its too much, again I want to release my stomach contents :)

I think the difference in how people are on OLD shows how different people are in general, so to be lucky and find someone like purple (sounds fab!!) is not always that easy!

My experience is the same as dan and runs

kin while you know I agree personality is by far and away the most important thing, on tinder and bumble you have to match first to even get to that point which means the physical box has to be ticked. Which is a barrier for a lot of people!

I’ve been on bumble for a few days but found it a bit dull because I miss the chatting side and clearly those I’m picking, aren’t picking me back! Am debating whether to pay the fee so I can see who these 91 admirers are.....as we don’t seem to be matching each other!

Another question, should I have a couple of lines on who I'm hoping to find on my POF profile? Would the fact this isn't there put someone off?

shit go for it!
Anyone else, go for it

Lol shit how brilliant

dan I always write the type of person I'm looking for

eesha I paid on bumble to see matches. It's well worth it and not that expensive

I changed a few photos on my bumble and it's gone mental! Either that or there has been a sudden influx of new men. I was on the verge of giving up and suddenly I have 4 conversations going on. It is so weird how this comes in fits and starts