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Original poster

Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

999 replies

Kinunir · 17/07/2018 12:40

Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Lovemusic33 · 30/07/2018 11:22

Sad Flof what is it with men and changing their minds? Is the children thing really important too you? I know for me it’s pretty important that I meet someone who doesn’t want children as I don’t want anymore. I don’t really discus it early on unless asked.

hatty44 · 30/07/2018 11:36

@vixen I love that quote and am going to squirrel it away as I think I will need to use it in next week or so. Intention is to have the chat face to face but if that doesn’t work then I’ll ping it over via text.
Also makes me want to go look at Matthew Hussey website to see if there are any more tips I could pick up....

floffel · 30/07/2018 12:02

@lovemusic33 it's important to me that nothing is closed to me, so if we tried and nothing happened, I could live with that.

VetOnCall · 30/07/2018 13:35

Are the messages going to 2 ticks? Is he online at all ? I would just want to know WHY, where are you?!

Yes they are, two grey ticks. I don't know if he's been online, he doesn't have the 'last active' time stamp thing. I used to see him actually show up as currently online fairly regularly though but haven't seen that either. esk he doesn't use any social media. I know that it's 99% certain that he's just ghosted me but I am 1% worried that he crashed his bloody car into a tree or something and I have absolutely no way of finding out.

Love it doesn't sound like Mr Camper is making a massive effort and you just seem really pissed off (understandably). Do you think it might be time to cut your losses here? If it's not making you happy what's the point.

Runs I saw your thread about your ex and thought massive twat red flags, but if you're happy with the arrangement I hope it works out for you.

Sugar blimey! That is super spur of the moment! I would still go on the other date though - don't overinvest on the back of one meeting!

So I've had a lot of matches on Tinder and Bumble and a few good conversations started. Also have a date pencilled in with a really nice bloke I started talking to a few months ago but didn't meet, he's kept in touch and still seems keen so we're meeting on Thursday. Back on the horse I go!

Cakecrumbs · 30/07/2018 13:53

Wow vet - go you, that's great going to quickly!
Well I'm feeling depress, my heart seems to be feeling more broken rather than healingSad

DaffoDeffo · 30/07/2018 14:26

www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/woman-who-received-dick-pic-still-laughing-20180730175802

That has made me laugh a lot today

DaffoDeffo · 30/07/2018 14:29

love flof the children thing also important to me. I don't want and can't have any more anyway but if someone matches with me and they say they haven't decided if they want or not, I usually give them a wide berth as I can't go out with someone who wants them. It's difficult as most men my age will/can still have kids. I actually haven't met that many who don't want fgs!

Jaxinthebox · 30/07/2018 14:52

hi everyone, just checking in to see how you all are?

Im still on the smitten bench and its all going well. Ive met some of his family, he has met some of mine, its like we have been together for a long time. Its just easy with each other.

Id cut MrCV out love. You need someone who matches your input, not a buddy to do hobbies with. :(
Vet Im sorry about Mr DM, what an idiot to do that to you. Its his loss entirely.

I hope everyone who has dates has fun, remember that YOU are the prize!

Iwouldmarrythebeast · 30/07/2018 15:27

I’ve got a 1st date arranged for tomorrow night but he has been complaining about not feeling well in all his texts to me. Tbh it’s a bit of a turn off as it’s every text he’s sending. Should I ask him today if he wants to rearrange tomorrow night or should I wait until tomorrow morning? He can’t do any other night because of childcare arrangements. Thoughts?

Lovemusic33 · 30/07/2018 15:29

iwould sounds like he wants to call it off, I would just ask if he wants to rearrange.

DaffoDeffo · 30/07/2018 15:56

So happy for you jax x

Bumble - no suitable matches or conversations ongoing

Pof - met one person off there last night while away. Nice guy but not sure there's a spark. Have another guy being really aggressive as I don't reply quick enough to him (some army guy) fgs so he's a non starter.

Was due to meet another on Thursday but he has messaged me now to say he is coming off POF as he's finding it too depressing. We are going to meet anyway but he doesn't want anything now

Mr Sex has arranged a date with me for the 17th. I like him but I just get the feeling I'm a number and nothing special. I need to explain this to him and see what he thinks as I may he harsh.

I am really nowhere with it all :(

DaffoDeffo · 30/07/2018 15:57

Iwould He sounds like he's waiting for you to say it's fine let's rearrange

Lovemusic33 · 30/07/2018 16:14

Switched my phone back on as I need it for work. Several messages from Mr Camper, haven’t opened them but from seeing the first few lines I can see that he doesn’t get it at all, he’s now sending me random messages (general chit chat) which I also haven’t opened. He can probably see that I have been online as I have answered messages from a friend on WhatsApp. I will message him tonight after work when I have thought of a reply. He obviously doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with inviting his friends along to what I thought was a date Hmm

Cakecrumbs · 30/07/2018 16:25

love I would just open them so you can give yourself time to think of a reply, you don't need to go back to him as soon as you have opened them

DaffoDeffo · 30/07/2018 16:41

love was he the one that hasn't had many long relationships

hatty44 · 30/07/2018 16:42

Yes I agree with @cake. Read them and give yourself some thinking time before replying

pudding21 · 30/07/2018 16:45

love I think you need to sit down with him and chat, maybe he thinks its nice for you to meet his friends, you have a differing opinion so a chat is needed I think!

Can you see a future with him? If not, rip that plaster off now and get your kicks from your FWB until someone more worthy of a relationship comes along. He sounds a bit clueless to me, he had so much promise too!!

Lovemusic33 · 30/07/2018 16:50

Daffo yes, he has had one (what I call) long relationship, the rest have been very short, the last one cheated on him but from what he said they were not really in a relationship anyway, more FWB so I’m not sure how she cheated?

One of the messages just says that him and his mates will paddle slowly so I can keep up Hmm , I did mention not being able to keep up but that wasn’t my main concern, the first thing I mentioned was ‘assuming it would just be him and me’.

I don’t know what to say to him. I have been unwell but haven’t said much to him as he’s not great at sympathy, I have had flu symptoms for over a week and a few other things, because I was bitten by a tic a few weeks ago I am now being treated with antibiotics incase I have Lymes (I haven’t told him, haven’t told anyone). I haven’t got the energy to go out with him and his mates as I have to work most of the day too. I know I will end up sat on a paddleboard feeling shit whist he goes off with his mates. Not my idea of fun.

Lovemusic33 · 30/07/2018 16:52

pudding he was showing lots of promise at first. I don’t know what has happened. I don’t mind meeting his mates but would have been nice to just see him as I haven’t seen him for a while.

DaffoDeffo · 30/07/2018 17:01

love He sounds v similar to a friend of mine who hasn't had many relationships. He does this every time a woman gets interested in him. Just where it could turn serious, he backs away and becomes all laddish. It's ridiculous.

I think you have to be firm with him. Why on earth would you want to paddle board with a load of others when you haven't felt well? I think it sounds very inconsiderate of him and you would hope that at this stage, consideration would be high not low.

DaffoDeffo · 30/07/2018 17:09

Are any other women on OK Cupid? I know Kin has said it's good but I am not sure what it's like from a female perspective

There just doesn't seem to be anyone decent on POF at all. Bumble is just not working out for me - I am trying but most of the men who respond just don't seem the right type either. I don't think I do well when it's all mainly being judged on looks!

Lovemusic33 · 30/07/2018 17:16

I think that’s probably it Daffo , to begin with he was so keen, complementing me, lots of kissing and touching but now it almost like I’m a friend, he still messages every day, tells me what he’s up to but there’s none of the nice stuff that was there a few weeks ago. Last time he stayed over he hardly touched or kissed me but still messaged as soon as he got him saying what a great time he had Hmm

NewtoOLD · 30/07/2018 18:18

vetoncall why don't you just call him ?

VetOnCall · 30/07/2018 18:31

Good question New... stupid but we've never actually spoken on the phone. I don't want to look like a total idiot chasing after him like I can't take a hint. He either won't answer or he will and tell me to bugger off... I just can't bring myself to do it. So bloody childish I know.

Dan89 · 30/07/2018 19:26

Lovemusic, can I offer a male perspective? Us men are not very good at picking up on what women are trying to tell us below the surface. The fact that he's had little recent relationship experience suggests to me that he really doesn't have any idea that you are (quite rightly) annoyed with him.

I'd say you have to spell it out nicely, but very clearly. Something along the lines of "I really don't feel well enough to paddle board this week, but when I'm feeling better, I'd love to spend some more time one on one." You can even say you're worried things have turned a bit matey and see where he's at. Chances are he's just not picking up on the way you're feeling at the moment