Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

[Kinunir]

Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

It wasn't really entirely spur of the moment with Mr Friend... We have known each other for a while and get on extremely well, make each other laugh and all that. Nothing has ever happened before but there has been some low-level flirting over WhatsApp and I knew there was some kind of spark/attraction there so it kind of felt a bit inevitable in a way. I honestly don't know if anything else will happen though. I don't do FWB type arrangements, I can't, so it'll either be a one-off and We'll stay friends or something will happen organically if it's going to...

Still, I'm back on Bumble and Tinder again as of this evening as well. Joy abounds!

@vet, Mr DM that sounds totally weird. Are the messages going to 2 ticks? Is he online at all ? I would just want to know WHY, where are you?!

Go you with Mr Friend.

Mr flakey from earlier had just totally weirded me out. Messaged saying would I consider a date...but a walk late at night?! What the actual. No thanks.

pudding nooo you must cancel your trip
to England and find Portugese Liam Neeson

vet you never know, things might develop with your friend! sometimes the best relationships come from nowhere and surprise you. do you have MrDM on social media or anything? id be creeping on him, something not right there.

shit thats hilarious! yolo n all that

Shitwithsugaron bad because you regret it? Didn't sound bad when you said it was a thrill

Hope you feel better this morning.

My date from Friday got in touch to ask if we can fix up another date. I'd sort of written him off already cos I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. So in meantime I've been chatting to a super cute guy a lot. I don't know how you all spin all the plates!

It's confusing and I've barely started

Shit why do you feel bad? That sounds great and certainly not against any rules

Need your advice people, feeling very upset and confused (and a little angry).

Last night I arranged what I thought was a date with Mr Camper, he sent me a message asking if I wanted to meet up Wed to go paddleboarding but indicated that we could do something else if I wanted. Then later last night he messaged to say "meet in tue normal place at 4.30pm". I wrote back this morning saying "I can't be there until 5.30 as I need to feed the kids and sort child care", he then messaged saying "Ok, let me know as so and so is coming with us and bringing a friend". So obviously it's not a date and I will spend 2 hours probably alone as I won't be able to keep up with them, I'm not even meant to be I the water as I have a possible chest infection.

I haven't seen him for a week and a half so was thinking we could catch up.

Am I right to feel a bit pissed off?

I don't know how to reply, at the moment I'm too annoyed. I'm tempted to just tell him to forget it. I haven't got a clue what he wants from me and I'm fed up of trying to guess.

What do I say?

Shit - oooh sounds so exciting! Just enjoy it for what it is. Any plans to do it again? Proper spur of the moment!

Love - I don't like the vibes i am getting from Mr Camper. I wonder whether it is worth actually spelling it out for him if he is pulling away and being the way he is. I agree it is too early for all this second guessing business.

Go read/youtube Matthew Hussey or Amy Young. They have such great advice.....

This is the Matthew Hussey one:
"Im feeling like you're not sure what you want right now. I really want to be with someone who is all in, not half in, which is what I'm feeling right now. So maybe you need to be on your own for a while or work out what it is you actually want. Maybe once you've worked that out I hope I'm still around"

X

esk1mo fear not. I found him :) turns out we have a lot of mutual friends 😅😂

Including mr architect. He know she everyone! His Instagram is open an appears to be single as one of his friends commented on his most recent post he needs a girlfriend!! 😇

Right, I sent him a message saying “I think I will give it a miss, assumed it would be just me and you but maybe I read it all wrong, have fun paddle boarding”. I have now switched my phone off as I don’t want it ruining my day and I don’t want to end up texts my all day trying to explain myself, unless he suddenly chases (which I don’t think he will) then I’m done.

shit your night sounds exciting, I need some of that excitement in my life right now

So I’m right to feel pissed off? I wouldn’t mind meeting with him and his mates if he had put the effort in to see me on my own another day but he hasn’t, I haven’t seen him for a week and a half, he has today and tomorrow off work but hasn’t suggested meeting up. I know I have kids home for school holidays which makes things tricky but I can always make a bit of time to go out in the evening or a few hours during the day. Just feels like he hasn’t got any time for a relationship, he’s always out with friends of going to classes in between working long hours. On his days off he often arranges to go and stay with friends or family. I’m looking for someone to spend the weekends with and the odd evening but I can’t see that happening with him as I will never be priority over his social life.

Love I think you are right to be pissed off as you said if he's arranged something just for the two of you on his day off then meeting the friends later in the week that would be fine.

He has mentioned meeting these friends before, we arrange to a few weeks ago but his friend didn’t turn up, but this was a week where I was already seeing him another night so I was happy to meet up with his friend. This time he didn’t even mention it whilst asking me to meet up with him, I assumed it was just me and him as I hadn’t seen him in over a week. Anyway, going to try not to stress over it, I’m still unwell anyway and sleeping a lot, not sure if I could cope with paddleboarding.

Hi all. I just popped back to give you a little update. I haven't read the whole thread just the last few posts.

Love Mr CV sounds very much like my ex from last year. He is very independent. Has lots of work, hobbies etc etc that take up most of his time. It used to drive me mad that I couldn't pin him down to a definite date especially when there was childcare to arrange. He doesn't have kids and is used to arranging his life to suit himself.

Mr CV probably has no idea that you are getting so stressed about this. Have you actually talked to him about what you want in a relationship? Not text - face to face talk. It sounds like you want very different things and your views on how your relationship should work are incompatible. But it also sounds like you are both making a lot of assumptions about each other and what you both want.

Hope you feel better soon and you manage to sort things out with Mr CV.

Runs, no, we haven’t really talked, he seems to be a bit of a joker and when ever chat turns remotely serious he seems to turn things into a joke. He’s not easy to talk too which is probably a red flag in itself. At the beginning we did talk about both having busy lives but then he seemed to put effort into making a bit of time, now he doesn’t seem to be doing that. We haven’t had the exclusive chat and I think he assumes I’m still dating other people, when we were out for lunch and my phone made a noise he said ‘oh, POF?’ Assuming I had a message, I told him I’m not on there (my profile is hidden), he said nothing and just continued general chat.

And this is the reason why I have switched my phone off, I don’t want it to turn into a text argument. He knows where I am if he wants to talk. I can’t be doing with texting and guessing anymore

And so to my update. I gave up on OLD as I couldn't get anyone to talk to me, let alone have a date with me. And I decided to just get on with life and enjoy what I have.

Then out of the blue, my ex from last year sent me a message. We met, chatted about what we'd up to the last 6 months. No awkwardness. It was as though we'd never split up. But we ended up having a snog which was great but he then ignored my messages for a week.

Finally he got back in touch. Very embarrassed that he'd let himself get carried away. We met up again last week to talk about what happened and what we want.

We agreed that while we get on really well and are attracted to each other (took great will power not to rip his clothes off!), we don't work well in a relationship together. So for now we are aiming for somewhere between FWB and casual dating. No pressure to keep texting each other every day. We'll meet when it suits us both which maybe tomorrow or maybe in 2 weeks.

I'm not sure how it is going work out but for now I'm happy.

Love it's so frustrating when men turn a serious chat into a joke. Like they can't cope with being having a grown-up discussion.
If he's not prepared to have a proper talk about things then I'd tell him where to go. It's no fun if you have to second guess what he's thinking all the time.

Well I thought it was too good to be true! Have been seeing Mr Surveyor for a month now, all good until last night at bloody half ten when he decides to tell me that he's thought about it and doesn't want anymore children and listed out his valid reasons. He's perfectly entitled of course and his reasons are valid but I was pissed off at being told when I was very tired and not really up for an indepth discussion on it.