Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

[Kinunir]

Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

I like someone just to ask me on a date. I get a bit fed up of chatting for too long and if I have been chatting to someone at all I am usually up for meeting up.
It is incredibly hard to get a real feel for someone before you meet so a date is a good idea to either rule someone out or realise they are actually more suited to you than you thought.

Gosh, that came out really jumbled, I was basically saying, ask them out!

Dan I'd say just play it by ear really

I went on a date with someone a few weeks ago who lives very close to me but we met via OLD. He suggested meeting after about 3 messages and I agreed seeing as we lived so close. We had a good enough time but he's definitely not for me
I went on a date on Friday with someone I've been chatting to for about 4 weeks. We'd been chatting so much I was a bit worried the real life wouldn't match up but it was a great date, felt like I'd known him much longer and there was no awkwardness.
Then there are others who I've been talking to for a while that have generally fizzled out and I probably wouldn't meet up with now.

Probably no help at all but what I'm really saying is; all you can do is ask, if they say yes then great. If not then at least you're not putting more time into messaging someone who's maybe not that interested

Fortune favours the bold Dan.

You can recover from asking too soon but if you leave it too late... someone else won't.

cakecrumbs it was nice but I felt really shy and I'm really not! He is quite attractive and I think we got on quite well. He messaged me when he got home and again yesterday so maybe we'll go out again, not sure. No idea what I'm doing to be honest... Feel very rusty.

dan ask instead of keeping messaging! I asked the guy I met cos I didn't want to just chat for ages and not bite the bullet (I did have too much 🍷 before asking him though!)

Cool oh that sounds like a difficult situation to turn your back on

Vet that makes sense - thanks! Think I've dished our a couple of moose burgers in my time!

Shit I'm worried about the story behind MrMaskingTape's name!

wishy are you going to see Friday's date again?
shit your date with MrGeek sounds promising!
I've hidden all my dating profiles, I've realised I need to learn to be comfortable on my own and I'm not over my ex.
It wasn't an easy decision because my date yesterday did at least provide a distraction from my own thoughts for a while but I think I'd feel a bit disingenuous as I'd be going on dates for very selfish reasons.
There are a couple of guys that I was already talking to that I will keep talking to until they fizzle out.
I'm still going to hang out with you guys on this thread if that's OK though?

Thanks all for your opinions. I guess I currently agree with wishy. As women, you guys probably get innundated with mesages so you can afford to be choosy with who you meet. As a guy, you are probably firing off a lot of messages to not a lot of responses. I want to be choosy too though as to who I date and don't want the deciding factor being 'they actually replied to my message, therefore I MUST ask them out'

question, do people use real names on thing like Bumble etc? I never did with match in the past

carouselfish I’ve just PM’d you

Dan: I've had mixed experiences with meeting up sooner/later. I've had dates where we've chatted for weeks on end, got on well in person but ended up being a bit flaky (him). I had a guy ask me to meet him within just a few messages and I questioned his intentions so didn't go on a date or continue chatting.

My most recent date - we talked for 2 or 3 days before he asked if he could meet me at the weekend, I was free & fancied getting out to enjoy the sun so I agreed. Had a fantastic date, lots in common. I was glad I said yes as in the past I would have held off for another week or so.

Meeting up sooner is probably better to be honest, stops from overinvesting and time is precious..... you can spend ages ping ponging messages backwards and forwards and get to a date & have little to talk about because you've exhausted all the small talk if that makes sense. Quick drink at pub or coffee & cake work well for first date 😊

Not sure that really helps much? But hope it gives a bit of insight.

Cake nope! Zilch. Absolutely nothing at all from Mr DM. I sent him another message yesterday, a nice one, just saying that this is very puzzling, I hope all is ok and all the best, and again, delivered but not read. I know you can airplane-mode your phone to read WhatsApp messages so the ticks don't turn blue so maybe he's done that, or maybe he just hasn't bothered at all, or maybe he's fallen off the face of the earth. Who knows! It's just so very strange because he was so good at keeping in touch and was online regularly and now he's just vanished. Ah well. I wanted to send that last message for some kind of closure and I'm glad I did but I'm done with it now. He's gone for whatever reason, I'll probably never know, so not wasting any more time or headspace on it. I haven't blocked him but I've deleted his number off my phone.

In other news I had to sort some stuff out yesterday in the place I used to live so I had arranged to catch up with a friend here and crash at their place last night. A male friend... A single male friend who I haven't known a massive amount of time but have always got on like a house on fire with... Let's just say I didn't quite make it to the spare room this time He had to go to work early this morning, I'm still at his house but leaving shortly. It's taken my mind off Mr DM anyway!

Vet: Sounded like just what was needed.....

I'm glad you've given up on wasting any more time on MrDM...... the length of time you have been talking for means I would have at least expected him to get in touch with you. Closure yes, you can't just keep pouring into something if you aren't getting anything back?

Hope you had fun last night 😉😗 x

vet I'm glad you feel you have closure on Mr DM. It's frustrating, isn't it? You invest time and effort and for nothing. How odd he just disappeared, but it's his loss. However last night sounds like a lot of fun!!

cake good for you for taking some time out. Hopefully after a while you might feel ready to date again. And you must stay on here!

shit your irons sound like fun! Good luck.

Good luck with your new iron vixen.

I have a new iron. We will call him Mr Travel. We met on Bumble less than a week ago and the conversation has flowed. He has asked to meet me for coffee and I've agreed. We seem to have loads in common. To add to the post by dan earlier, I have learnt it's much better to meet sooner rather than later. I've had weeks of conversation and ended up being so disappointed when we met in person. So now I prefer to meet quickly so I don't invest too much time.

vet can’t believe MrDM, i wonder if he had someone else he was seeing aswell and thats why he wasnt physical. or he’s just a big weirdo.

dan id chat for a couple of days then expect to be asked on a date, no one wants a pen pal!

@vet what was the backstory with Mr DM?

I thought I had a date this evening with someone local who I matched with yesterday...he's just messaged saying it was his nephew's birthday yesterday so he's all behind and can he take a raincheck?

Yes mate a permanent one!

Looking forward to a night chilling now :-).

vet My guess is Mr DM has some issues with intimacy. Just a guess, or he is shit, or both. Glad you had fun with your friend :)

So Friday nights date with Mr Suprise (surfer/ski guy) was lovely, I really really like his company, he talks a lot, is funny, calm etc. It was our third date and we went for sushi but there were no tables, so we got a take out and came back to mine. We sat watched the eclipse, drank a lot of wine, and snogged for about 20 minutes. i was uber controlled and didn't allow it to go further, he was a real gentleman and didn't push it either. I had a hangover yesterday then planned to brave IKEA. Before I left he messaged me to say he was having a BBQ with his oldest firends and did I want to join him. it was really sweet of him, but I went to IKEA instead! I don't think I am ready to meet any friends, but it was sweet of him to ask and he was cool with my decision not to go.

Then last night my friends called me to go for dinner and go to a bar later on, i didn't really feel like going but I did. They run a surf camp and have loads of international guests and staff and all the staff went out last night too, was good fun. Turns out two dutch strapping young men (6 foot, swimmers physiques, really nice!) have been telling the girls at the camp how much they fancy me. One is 20, one is 23. Both brothers. Hahahahaah! The girls were encouraging me to go for it, but waaaaaay too young for me, and they are both very blonde (brunettes are much more my thing). They will both be giving me surf lessons in the next few weeks, should be fun

In the bar, I saw literally the man of my dreams, never seen him before, no one knew who he was. But I am on a mission to find out! Pwoar he was gorgeous and JUST my type. I was too shy to approach him, but happy to admire from afar. I don't even know his name, but I will find him. Like Liam Neeson in Taken.

And my electirica was hovering around, but I don't fancy him at all. He's a Portuguses Bimbo.

I probably won't see Mr Suprise for a while as I have my kids, friends visiting from the UK then I am back to england and then on holiday. Probably not a bad thing as I don't want it to evolve into relationship status. I am ready to have dates, meet up with people. I am not ready to be in an exclsusive relaitonship but happy to see how things go.

Cake yes I'm seeing him again this week I think, we've been chatting a lot since and seem to be on the same page with things. Obviously very early days but for now all seems positive

*@vet what was the backstory with Mr DM?

Cool met on POF around February-ish, went on a date, got on well but then he was away for 2 weeks for work (has high flying trader job hence nickname) and then did his back in on return so 6 week gap until date 2. Kept in daily contact in between though other than one gap of a few days when it transpired he'd ended up in hospital because of his back. Anyway, been dating fairly regularly since May-ish and in daily contact. Lovely bloke, no red flags at all, although quite shy and backward physically - took about 6 or 7 dates before he kissed me properly. We never slept together. Anyway, all seemed going in the right direction though but he's now vanished! Saw him on the Sunday, had a really great day, messaged on the Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday as normal and then boom. Gone. Nothing since so 10 days now. He could well have met someone else but I genuinely don't think he was dating other people. I'll never know but it really is very very odd. I really liked him so I'm a bit sad but refuse to dwell on it.

Last night was pretty damn good. I don't know what's going to come of it, if anything. Turns out he's very, erm, generously proportioned shall we say, which was a pleasant surprise

Will catch up properly with everyone else later.

dan I do also think that not everyone gets bombarded with messages and can be picky. I have never been bombarded with messages! On bumble I would say of every 10 matches only 1 actually turns into a conversation. 3 or 4 unmatch me after one message lol and the other 5 or 6 may send one back and then no more or we are just not interested enough in each other. I've been on bumble a month and only done 2 dates off it - bloke 1 who wasn't interested in me and Mr Sex who I am seeing for a 2nd date in a few weeks.

POF I do get more but most are totally unsuitable and i have done 2 dates off there both disastrous.

I'm away with my youngest this weekend but have bumped into someone who wanted to know if I fancied a drink tonight so I'm going to go out:). He is a lot younger than me but because I'm away and there will be no relationship connotations it doesn't really matter!

When I get back I need to 're think the dating thing as it's not really working out for me at the moment! Though it has only been a month but I'm back to FT work in Sept and then I will have even less time!

Jealous vet. I've had this side of me switched off for so long now I'm open to it again I feel like I have a neon sign above my head flashing ON! Pmt so banging mad hormones.

I am going to struggle with being thick skinned enough for this probably. Already think my date from Friday is not fussed but don't find it easy to just shrug. Maybe I'll toughen up?

Vet, I don't know how you do it - some harmless fun would be very welcome! Never felt that anyone has found me attractive enough in real life to do that spur of the moment

Daffo - pof is the only thing I've got responses on. I have had one match each on Bumble and Tinder in about 3 weeks

Mr Camper is messaging trying to arrange to see me but I’m feeling a bit fed up as he has 2 days off and doesn’t seem to have any spare time on those days, meaning I have to drive to him one evening for a couple of hours (he lives an hour away). Feeling a bit meh about it all. Doesn’t seem to be much effort going into anything. When we first started dating he was all keen and now I seem to be bottom of his priority list. If he doesn’t pull something out of the hat this week I shall be meeting up with Mr FWB for a bit of excitement and stepping away from the dating until after the summer holidays.