Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

[Kinunir]

Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Cake Haha I'm happy to try and help if I can although I'm not sure how much help it would actually be!

I'm also disillusioned cake but I go through phases of this. I'm on bumble and pof only. Bumble definitely seems to have a better quality of messaging and people who make an effort. I get mainly unsuitable men who just want a shag on POF.

I would just love to know what you write in your profile and what your pics are like wishy, I don't get much interest and I'm sure it is probably down to a number of factors but wondering if I can improve anything. I'm not sure what guys want written in a profile when I have limited characters, do they just want to know if I have a job, children, car, house etc or do they want to see some of my personality. I am a little bit quirky personality wise (not in an obvious way but probably not your typical female), looks wise I sometimes think I am good looking and sometimes think I am not.
I wonder if you should have a profile tips section at the start of every thread?

love sorry I also meant to reply to your posts, more empathy than any good advice but I know I'd be feeling the same as you, I want effort from a man but I do wonder if my expectations of people are too high and impossible to live up to, maybe that's why I am still single!

@Cakecrumbs ... happy to send you my profile but I wouldn't have a clue how to do it?!

cake other than the sex all has been ok. Yesterday just felt like we were either ‘just mates’ or ‘he has just got too comfortable and stopped trying’. I know this can happen after a month or so, maybe he thinks he has got me so he no longer has to try? Maybe my expectations are too high as well as my sex drive?

Or maybe he was just genuinely tired:). Hard to tell so early on!

Which sites are you on cake?

wishy I have no idea how to do it either other than I'm sure I've sent someone my pof profile before but I can't actually remember how to do it.
Can anyone help with how to send profiles?
daffo I am on POF (met my last bf on there), Tinder, Bumble and Badoo. I thought Bumble was going well but they've all just disappeared. Also had one guy on Tinder and one guy on Badoo but they too have disappeared!

Cake I could screenshot it and pm you?

wishy if you don't mind? That would be fab

Cake, can't see how to add pics to messages but if you want to send me your number I can WhatsApp you?

Cake you can Google your POF profile based on your username, open it up and then share the web address with someone.

Thanks kin, wishy has looked at my profile and been a great help!

I just had a message saying ‘Hello dear’
Frankly I think I prefer the hello sexy type ones

I'm very late in the day to reply to you love, but you are exactly describing my relationship with Mr Tall last year. He was lovely. We had loads in common and got on like a house on fire. We had MB on date 4 and it was good. He was very "attentive" for a good month or so after that, then he started to no longer want MB and mostly just kiss and cuddle. 4 months in to the relationship we had a weekend away where it was very clear my sex drive was much higher than his and we ended up arguing. I felt I was in the wrong so decided to simply accept him as he was, even though the rejection to me felt as if he didn't find me attractive.

Fast forward to November and we had another weekend away. Again, he wasn't into MB. We were a bit drunk and argued about it. That was the end of us. We split up three weeks later.

I don't want to put a dampener on anything for you, and your relationship with Mr CV is undoubtedly different. But what I'm trying to say is that for me, the difference in sex drove was really massive and we couldn't find a way round it. Him being nice and more of a friend than a lover wasn't enough for me.

Thanks Tom, it’s really confusing me because we talked about sex early on and I told him I have a high sex drive, he said he was the same. I know my sex drive probably is higher than most peoples (never used to be until I hit 34) so I do try and calm it down. I think if it continues like this I will get really frustrated and possibly turn to a FWB, I don’t want to do that as I wouldn’t want anyone to do that to me. I shall see how things go over the next couple of weeks, if it doesn’t get any better I will have to walk away as I can’t stand feeling rejected.

Just checking in, spent the whole weekend out in the sun, some of it kayaking with Mr DM. Just about to drag my arse to CrossFit now although it's still stinking hot here. I'm having a bit of a sex related dilemma with Mr DM too, in that I'm not sure if it's ever going to happen He is very backward in coming forwards in that respect and I'm concerned we may be becoming more 'people who meet to do activities' than actually dating towards a relationship. I need to talk to him about it but I don't know how to start off... 'so, are you ever going to shag me or not?!' might be a bit too direct

vet Could you suggest a night away? Has it got that comfortable yet? Do you want it to progress to that?

FWB (was ex now on again) has been very keen this last week, asking me to meet him every day, even lunch times. If only he was relationship material! When I was seeing him constantly before for 6 months, we never went once without having sex atleast once, twice or three times. Thats what I mean about he has spoilt me, anything less with a guy will feel like the spark isn't quite there as much ifykwim.

I think I will be in the same situation as Mr Suprise (surf/ski guy), he hasn't even so much as leant in for a kiss. Maybe he is a slow burner. But vet not sure I could have waited so long as you have Mr DM. I think you need to be more obvious :) (if you want to of course).

@love, I think sex is key too and at this stage, I agree with you it should still be exciting. It might just be because it's really warm though?

Mismatched sex drive is really tricky when it's important to you!

Wow this new one is filling fast! Having been well n truly disappointed in mr mafia, I've thrown myself back in to take mind off it. Thanks vet for comments on my five dates red flags. I have been so miserable since ending it I have to keep rereading the endless 'hes a nutter' verdicts. I basically broke all the bloody thread rules, didn't I?

Could one of you kind people please tell me what it means on bumble when there is a blue tick next to the name. Thanks

vet Could you suggest a night away? Has it got that comfortable yet? Do you want it to progress to that?

Thanks pudding. Yeah I've thought about that, I think it might be the only way... It's a bit awkward just now as I have a good friend and her 3 year old DD staying with me for a couple of months post catastrophic relationship breakdown so I can't invite him over here for a romantic evening. He lives alone but so far hasn't invited me to his house which is starting to bother me now. I think this week might be crunch time, I really like him and I did want to take things slowly but I need to see some kind of progression - and if he's any bloody good at it before I waste any more time!!

Carousel stay strong! It's the right decision x

Shit I probably wouldn't go with the MN username

Thisis I'm not sure... I used Bumble quite a lot but don't know if I noticed that. Maybe some sort of upgraded user? Is it appearing next to people you've already matched with?

I can't see a blue tick on bumble either. Is it a blue tick in a camera? (which means they have pictures)

daffo it means they are verified. It happened to me when I signed up. You take a selfie and they match it against your uploaded photos. If they match then you're verified.