Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

[Kinunir]

Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Of course you're right Wishy but I think if you're sensitive, you may as well accept it does hurt, acknowledge it, feel it and it's over quicker. At least that's how I get by.

I'm sure I've hurt people too, ignoring and blocking etc. Ah well, tomorrow is another day. And I agree cat about the missed opportunities, unfortunately my experience is if you don't hear, they don't want to hear from you.

@Azzizam that's a good way of dealing with it if it works for you
It's easy to dwell but when one door closes another one opens, that's how I try to look at life anyway

dan Well done, can be scary messaging people, hope you get some back but don't be disheartened if you don't. Just keep messaging anyone you are interested in :)

I need to read back through everyone's updates. Thought I would just check in on my date this evening...Mr Planes... Lovely guy and we got on well but he has filtered the shit out of his photos😂. He looked washed out in comparison.
We had friend zoned each other by the end of the date due to distance.

go for it dan and don't forget the thick skin rule. In terms of numbers, some men have told me they message hundreds of women and might get 1 or 2 replies. So bear this in mind and keep up your numbers and probability chances. Rejection is not personal!

Hope all dates last night (if anyone was out) went well. I’m seeing Mr Campervan today, he has bought me a little present (well kind of big present) and we are going to pick it up later when he finishes work. He’s then staying the night. I spent a hour yesterday fixing my squeaky bed , this is the 2nd time he has stayed over, last time I didn’t sleep at all, I’m not used to sharing my bed, it was kind of exciting but annoying at the same time.

@Dan, my date was telling me last night how he felt there were loads more men than women on the sites and how hard it is to get a convo going.

@love, I'm terrible at sharing a bed as well as I rarely do it !

Dan I believe there are anywhere from 12-20 men to every woman on most OLD sites. I have friends who get one reply per 100-150 messages they send so keep messaging and remember a low response rate is quite normal.

I’m seeing Mr Campervan today, he has bought me a little present (well kind of big present) and we are going to pick it up later when he finishes work.

Will this present go brrrrrm brrrrrrm and does it have wheels Love?

Thanks guys. I'm at least trying to cater the message to the profile rather than just send out "hey bbz u ok?''

Dreadful date. He is lovely but is so totally over invested in me it made me want to run for this hills! Why do people do this? It is utter madness to decide that something could be perfect 2 dates in, especially at our age where you would think you know better. Part of me thinks this is part of his patter but it's totally overwhelming for me. I am starting to think (and have now been told twice) that I am overly sensible :) but that is me.

I think I will meet him face to face next week to let him down because he is so over invested I don't think I can do it on text

"Why do people do this?"

It's probably to do with the above that men will message 100-150 people to get 1-2 replies. When you're lonely and OLD is your best throw of the dice, it must be easy to over invest when someone actually considers you worth replying to.

dan read the thread rules out loud, three times a day at least!!!

It's true. I've been chatting to a really attractive young guy and he said on average maybe one response a week and he couldn't remember last time he matched on Tinder before me.

Another one though who wants photos of full body shots and privates which I will never ever do!

Kin it doesn’t do either sadly ,I think he has bought it to cheer my up after my van died last week (it is being fixed), it is something that’s usable and eventually can go with my van.

Daffo I had a man similar to your date last year, he showered me in gifts, talked about future plans and told me how amazing I was. After a couple of dates I just wanted to run for the hills, which I did and he didn’t chase after me so obviously wasn’t really that into me.

I never believe men when they say they hardly get any dates on POF and hardly get any responses to messages, I find it hard to believe because as a woman I get 100’s of messages and could probably go on 3 dates a week if I had the time. Is it just the fact there are more men on these sites than women? Mr Campervan says I’m the first person he has been on a date with and he only spoke to one other person who strug him a long and would never agree on a date too meet.

I think it's true lovemusic . Several different men have told me this separately.

@Lovemusic33 that stuff about hardly any messages is absolutely true. It's a completely different experience for msn and women on these sites. I sat with a friend who was also on POF to compare profiles and matches for a laugh. The minute she logged on, she started getting deluged in messages. Its clear loads of guys message indiscriminately to anynody they vaguely fancy. Whereas I had sent out individual messages to people i jought i actually had stuff in common with, and gotten almost bo responses. To be honest, I can barely be bothered with the whole thing now. There's way better things to be doing with my life than wasting it chasing women who are just following the pretty boys. I'd rather get on with doing stuff I love, and trusting that at some point I might meet someone amazing that way.

Wow - proof reading. It matters

So, do you think it’s because there are more men on these sites? Or are women just being too fussy and not relpying to people unless they are their perfect match?

I reply to a lot of messages if they have taken time to read my profile and if we have at least one thing in common, I don’t reply if they just say ‘hi’ or if they call me hun, babe or sexy .

It must be frustrating for men on these sites if they are not getting any responses from messages

So, do you think it’s because there are more men on these sites?

It's mainly that but also, I think, because they are lazy with their messages, doing the whole "hi" thing instead of putting any real thought into it.

I'm surprised that people are saying men really struggle to get conversations with OLD, I've had loads of men just stop messaging and I don't think I've been boring and definitely not offensive. There are a lot of men that don't seem to be able to hold a decent conversation, there are only so many questions I can ask and just get one line answers to.
I have to say I'm really loving Bumble, got quite a few decent conversations going.

Can anyone recommend a dating site for plus size people xx

My experience of OLD as a woman is I'm getting loads of messages but only respond to perhaps one out of ten where I felt there could be something... I need to come off I think, been seeing this fella for six weeks or so just had first sleepover and breakfast together this morning..., getting all the feelings... :)

plusprincess all the normal sites. Plenty of men and honestly many more than you'd think, fancy a bit of meat on the bones!!

So is there anything we as guys can do to improve our chances of getting a reply? Obviously if the girl thinks you're hideous then that is that, but plenty of you talk about chatting to guys you don't really fancy or not your "usual type".

Part of me thinks it's starting to come down to random chance