Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

[Kinunir]

Dating Thread 137 – Sausage Party at the SUC

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

A few years ago I probably wouldn’t have cake ,I have learnt not to chase and that if someone wants to be with me they will put in the effort. I have made myself look stupid far too many times by chasing something that’s not there.

Cake, badoo did that to me too for a while, I think they were hoping I'd updraft to their paid version. I didn't and it seems to have realised I'm a lost cause so has gone back to showing me who's liked etc again

OK great wishy, I'll just ignore it for just now then

Just realised autocorrect changed "upgrade" to "updraft" in my previous post. Don't even know what an updraft is

cake love just to give a different perspective, I am someone who needs a lot of space and tells people so. I actually back off when people are keen especially when they are overseen. MrFarAway has been trying to set up more dates in advance and it completely freaks me out.

It isn't that I don't like him. I do. But I really like things to go at a slow pace. To be fair I do tell men this but it doesn't stop them pushing and I have ended relationships when someone is coming on too strong because I feel if they can't respect my need for space, then the chances are they won't in a relationship either.

Having said all that love I also hate the stage of relationship you are in where it's a bit like showing your cards time to make sure you are equally keen for each other but not at the stage where you're totally exclusive and happy to show your real feelings. I'm like a duck out of water till the exclusive phase where I think you feel much better!

Also if any of you have any tips for waxing rash. I got waxed on Thursday- legs are fine but the bits on my nether regions that were waxed have come up in that red bumpy/pimply rash. Have been to this salon before and I know it's fine. I suspect it's because I've been hot and sweaty and walking around a lot. Not a good look for tonight's date if anything happens argh!

Love TBH I would have gone with 'I've made other plans'. Do you think he's playing games? If so, he needs to know that you're not going to play his game. Is Mr CV the one whose relationships only last a year or so? Hope you get your van sorted and have it back on the road before summer is over.

Daffo your right, hat this stage of dating, the not knowing if we are exclusive, if he's seeing others, not knowing if we will be exclusive if it is a relationship or not. Last night he was trying to be nice, I'm not sure if he cancelled his plans for Sunday or if it was cancelled but he picked up on me being a bit pissed off (not just about him cancelling but about my van being dead). We have a week and away planned for October which he has now booked time off work for and he has made a few other plans, I'm still not sure where I stand because he doesn't really talk about serious things (has a bit of a joker). I hope your date goes well and the shaving rash calms down.

love i think I recall you are 6/7 dates in and I think it's fine to have that exclusive chat now. Someone on the thread (sorry on my phone so hard to scroll down) said how they feel things start falling apart around 2 months if the attraction isn't going to last and I would agree with that. If you are planning time away together in the future, I think it's absolutely fine to try and get him to have a quick 'where do we stand now' chat. He may well appreciate it.

Daffo: I am a sufferer of shaving & waxing rash. The things I use are aloe vera gel (the kind you use for sunburn), after-shave balm - yes the kind that men use, try & get unscented if you can. Sudocreme is also amazing as it has zinc in it which is great for calming angry skin.

Love: I would be tempted to say sorry I have made other plans, perhaps we can get together another time in the next couple of weeks. It bats the ball back into his court, and will let him know that he can't just pick you up and drop you when he feels like it..... this is a hard thing to do, done it myself recently and it made me feel a whole lot better x

Vixen I was very tempted to tell him I’m now busy but I don’t really want to get into game playing. He assumes he’s coming over anyway, he said the bbq he was meant to be going too is now next week (not sure if he was messing me around or not), he’s planning on staying over. I’m not sure what date number we are on, I have lost count, I have been seeing him 2 or 3 times a week apart from his week away. I’m not sure how to have the exclusive talk with him, he hasn’t been single as long as I have and I think he’s still getting over his ex ,occasionally mentions her in a not so nice way, she’s no longer in the country, I think he still had anger towards her as she cheated on him even though they were not really together at that point. I don’t want to put too much pressure in him. Seeing him once or twice a week is fine with me as long as he doesn’t mess me around by cancelling at the last minute as I have childcare to arrange.

daffo yeah, appreciate that, then I guess it is just a case of being incompatible.
Struggling a bit today, I am wondering if my profile needs changed, been on for nearly a week now and not got any proper chats going or any contact from anyone I'm attracted to. Could do with seeing what the competition is like, is there a way to do that on the apps?

cake which sites are you on? On bumble you can switch to friend mode and see other women's pictures. Mine are crap compared to some people I can see! I wish I had better pictures. A friend of mine at work got hers done professionally (but not obviously so, just the right light etc.) and I think that was a good idea!

daffo I'm on Tinder, Badoo and pof, do you need Facebook for Bumble?

I think I'm probably not sexy enough I'm quite plain

I'm very plain too cake. No you don't need Facebook for bumble :).

daffo how do you switch to friend mode on Bumble?
Also is there anyone that would take a look at my profile /profiles? Happy to help in exchange although I'm obviously no expert

Cake I can have a look if you wish

At the top it says bumble date and if you press it it brings up bumble date but if you swipe to the side, it also brings up bumble bff (and bumble business connections or something)

Hi everyone,

I'm still texting with mrintellectual. I really enjoy talking to him but there's no flirting or hint of anything more at the moment. I sent him a more recent picture and he said it made him happy and then he sent me one I'm not sure what that really means! He still talks about meeting up though although I'm not pushing it as he's far away at the moment and I'm reluctant about distances after my experience with mrbook.
I met mrgamer for a drink and it was nice but no spark on either side.
I think I've messed things up with mrblueeyes though earlier this morning and am now kicking myself a bit. We've been trying to arrange another date for about two weeks and three or four times now he's said he's coming and then been apparently stuck at work so it hasn't happened. He says he still wants to see me. We've had a couple of phonecalls and online chats at least to say hi most days but I'd increasingly been wondering if I was getting the whole story. He just seems to work at the hotel a phenomenal amount of hours. I also noticed that he was on WhatsApp at 4/5am and just a strange pattern generally. He'd also been online more and more and not replied to my messages. So....i got a bit insecure and didn't want to be strung along so I sent him a message this morning basically saying I didn't believe him and that I thought he was stringing me along. He sent me a message back saying it was the truth and a photo to show he was at work . I apologised for doubting him but I think he's really upset now and hasn't replied so I think I might have pushed him away .

I did sign up to badoo a couple of days ago but it's so busy!

until . keep posting.

Oh I'm such a mess. So I have been posted before about a guy I've been dating from OLD and it's been about 7 months. Everything has been so good... we started the week with me renewing my passport and looking at city breaks! He then went abroad for 4 days to visit his dad and step mom. He kept in touch every day as much as he would do at home but I just a niggling thought that something wasn't right. I explained that and he asked me why I thought it and he didn't think he had been off. He is back later today but I still had this gut feeling. So I downloaded tinder and tinder plus to change the location and he is back on there! I only did it because I thought it would reassure me.

He lands at almost 2pm and did say he was going to see me this afternoon and although I'm half tempted to block him, I would like an explanation from him so I'm not sure what to do. As he was staying at his dads I can't imagine he was meeting girls but I don't know. He text me every evening so I'm guessing just chatting. He hasn't been on WhatsApp much though so maybe just on the app itself.

I posted before that I was a little concerned with whether the girls he follows on insta are from a dating site however, since he has been gone he has only followed two of his gym instructors so that wasn't really a concern but now this.

We are fairly jokey with each other so I may just wait until I see him and then be like 'you deleted tinder again now you're back' and see how he reacts. If he denies I've screen shotted the profile.
If he cancels coming to see me I guess I have my answer then too.

Any advice ?

Minnie it’s a tough one because I’m like you (over thinking things) but I’m also a strong believer of ‘follow your gut instincts’, if something doesn’t feel right then your probably right. It’s called all be innocent but if he said he had deleted tinder and is now back on there I would want to know why too.

Yeah my gut said something wasn't right. I kinda don't want him to know I looked but then you're right I need to know what is going on. When he went away before, we were both still on tinder as it was still so early but he deleted it before he came back.

I need to keep busy until I know what his plans are I guess. Then I can decide what to do.

I think your plan is good minnie. If he's a prick he will throw it back in your face (why were you looking at tinder) so prepare yourself.

I agree, your gut instincts are normally right :(