Starting over after 25 years - Part deux

[Lily007]

Wow need to start a new thread.

The support I’ve had from all the posters has been amazing and very much appreciated and I hope will continue.

I'm sure lily knows the ins and outs, pros and cons, and will make the right decision for her.

Hey Lilly - I was on your old htread under a different name but have namechanged in your honour. I laughed and laughed at this.

Your still doing brilliantly and acting with dignity. Yo KOKO and yes reply in your own time.... 21 days my arse.

Aww...I'd almost forgotten about your genius moniker Dangletits! Giggling at it all over again now

I'm loving the new username too.

Quality

Hi all

Had a rough couple of days following a text from dickhead that he’s halving the monthly payment! It’s going to create a few financial difficulties which I’m sure is precisely his intention.

I’m seeing my matrimonial solicitor friend tomorrow evening to discuss my options but I think I’ll probably just get the divorce petition issued which will get the ancillary proceedings rolling.

Amazingly I wasn’t upset at his text, I was just angry. But hey, there’s more than one way of skinning a cat.

He’s such an idiot because as he’s already instructed solicitor’s he shouldn’t be contacting me directly in any case. I’m going to respond to his solicitor on Monday and I’ll make it clear their client contacting me directly is wholly inappropriate.

I’ve not bothered to respond to his text, I get the impression my continued silence is pissing him off, oh I do hope so 😉

Oh Lily carry on the silence, he is trying to get to you so don't let him. Like I said before he is probably being encouraged by VOW (vile other woman) so your silence will be driving them both mad.

What sort of a man does such a thing over text. He is an absolute coward and your continued silence is terrifying him.

Anger is good, work with it and use it.

Sorry you have had a rough couple of days, but the future is bright for you I promise!!!!!!

Thanks @beefcake.

Yes, I suspect my continued silence is probably driving him nuts. He won’t get a rise out of me no matter what he does 😊

I’m absolutely furious 😡😡😡

He’s telling me he’s reducing what he pays me but has been posting photos of him and the skank in London!!! I’m even more angry that we went to London on this weekend every year. He’s living our life with her!

He posted a couple of weeks ago that him and her were at a restaurant we went to regularly.

I could cheerfully smash his face in 😡

It is infuriating. Also very sad. Is he so devoid of imagination that he can't or won"t try to find new places to go and memories?

You've won the prize here getting shot of this pathetic chancer. Focus your anger on something positve. Your plans re going forward on divorce sound good. Try and relax and enjoy the rest of today.

Hi Lily, how bloody dreadful of him. What a loser. Hope you're ok.

Doesn't surprise me one whit. Men like him have no sense of self-awareness but a huge sense of self-importance.

Hi Lilly , sorry to hear about your ex dickhead and his antics.
I took myself of social media and it really helped until one of my well meaning friends told me what my ex was up to on Facebook. I’ve made it clear now that I don’t want to know as it really set me back all day. I know you had debated social media early on in the thread and going back on to try and desensitise yourself but I don’t think it’s helping. For me It’s easier this way, I tell myself that my ex has died as the person he was doesn’t exist anymore so he is dead to me.
Sending you hugs xx

And maybe block his number so that all communications can go through the solicitor ? If he needs access to the house to get any things then maybe ask him to do this via your son? Xx

Thanks MsPav, Opportunity and Across

Fuckit, I’m not overly bothered what he’s up to with her, what I am bothered about is him telling me he’s halving the money he pays but still going on holiday, weekends away and regular nights out.

He earns a lot more than I do and I’m struggling as it is, that’s what I’m pissed off about. Seeing or hearing what they do doesn’t bother me so much these days, I just don’t see why I should struggle while he’s pissing his money away on her!

Hmm, do you think it may be time to consult with a solicitor as far as moving ahead with a divorce? If he's starting to play fast and loose with money, it may be a good time to lock things down.

Try not to be angry as best you can about the London trip - as PP said that is so sad and I would pity him for having lost you and still living your life as if you're still around!!

You're doing so well ignoring him and I hope you get the maintenance sorted quickly with your solicitor - that will be his last resort to try and get a reaction from you so well done for not responding. xx

Well, that's the gloves off then. You won't comply, so money gets halved as a warning shot.

Solicitor time, and you sound better placed than most to deal with that side of things.

Get it done and him gone. Whatever you're left with is at least yours and within your control

The unimaginative, tightwad fuckwit!! Yes definitely lock that shit down Lily.

He's trying to get a rise out of you by punishing you with the money, you're totally right not to give him the satisfaction of any response other than a solicitor's letter. This divorce needs to cost him so much it hurts.

Stay strong Lily

Hi. Thanks everyone.

Yes, I think it’s time for me to get the divorce petition issued. I need to do that so I can make a claim for maintenance pending suit.

I agree, he’s a sad act, living “our” life but with her.

Not that I want to get involved with anyone else but, if I did, I certainly wouldn’t be going to the same places I went with him. Why would he even do that? I wonder if she even knows? I’d be bloody furious in her position.

Oh well, time to get tough and go for the jugular 😡

Perhaps he's pining after his old life...well too late, sunshine!!!

Go for the jugular Lily, it'd be great if he's forced to pay more than he's now offering if you get awarded maintenance pending suit.

🤞toots

I’m going to issue the divorce petition tomorrow. I’ve had quite enough of his silliness now.

I think he’s totally misinterpreted my silence. The day he left I said to him “your trouble is you over estimate yourself and you under estimate me”. Clearly, he hasn’t learned his lesson!

You know, I almost feel sorry for OW. She probably thinks she’s got a real catch.

How wrong she is 🙈

Divorce petition issued

I've notified his solicitor and asked them to request he refrains from any direct contact from hereon in.

Now I wait!!!

Well done you. How sad you will be feeling.Onwards and upwards!

Hey Lilly

Sorry to hear his shenagigans have escalated. Good for you in fighting back.

Don't think about it like he's living your life with her, it's not that, it's just he likes those places so still wishes to go. He clearly doesn't see any sentimentality, to him they are not "ours" just places he likes. No thought process, no sentimentality. 😔

Are you comfortable with the financials ie spousal maintenance to enable you to support youtself ? As in what you're going for and what that means in real terms as well as the house implications? These are the critical ones, don't be waylaid by whatever social life he has, it's not relevant, his salary is his salary. 💐

Hi Lily'
sorry you seem to have been boxed into a corner by him, and you are doing so well. I'm afraid the halving of the monthly money seems to be these errant husbands seem to behave after a few months.

I hope that your solicitor can get you need