Starting over after 25 years - Part deux

[Lily007]

Wow need to start a new thread.

The support I’ve had from all the posters has been amazing and very much appreciated and I hope will continue.

Lol Sunflowers. He’s British, the only male supermodel and he’s ever so posh 😍

Ooh yes Lily! Imagine waking up to that!!! Not sure I'd ever leave the house

Yeah I'd have to agree with you on David Gandy too,,,,🤣

Hey we agree on something 😜.

Well it was bound to happen at some point,,,🤣

I prefer Ray Winstone. Bit of rough and something to hold onto. I need that with my bad back

Hey Lily, did you enjoy the tennis/football today? I'm pleased with the footie result, as I had France on our family sweepstake.

And how was your night out with your friend? Did you enjoy yourselves?

Sunflowers Whenever I think of Ray Winstone I cant get the image of him in those yellow trunks from Sexy Beast out of my head

This....

Hi Toots

I watched the tennis. Bit disappointing though as Djokovic won easily. I’m glad France won though.

Yes I had a lovely evening on Friday with my friend thanks.

I feel really down today, no idea why, just sad 😔 Even though I hate the person XH has become, I miss the lovely husband he used to be and all the things we did together. I’m sure I’ll get over it though and hopefully I’ll feel better again tomorrow 🤞

I didn't get to see either as we were at a family birthday party this afternoon.

You're bound to still get days like today, you did have some lovely times together and it's inevitable you'll miss that. I think you have to look to the future and believe that eventually, when you're ready, you'll have those lovely times with someone new and make some new memories.

Hope you're feeling a bit brighter this morning. It is inevitable that you'll have sad days when you miss him and the lifestyle you had. They seem to often happen at the weekend. Can you try to plan something nice for both weekend days? Something to look forward to, and to distract you also.

Hi Agatha

Yes I’m feeling better again this morning, thank you 😊

I do try to make plans for the weekend but didn’t have anything planned yesterday.

I was hoping to join the local gym but changed my mind after chatting to a colleague who’s already a member. She told me it’s really difficult to get on any of the classes because they’re really over subscribed. The only other gym is private and a bit too expensive.

The other problem I have is that on the days I work (8 hour days Tues to Fri), I have to get straight home to the dog 🐶

My bad days are definitely lessening so hopefully that’ll continue.

I’m going to tackle cutting the hedge to the front of the house today, it’ll probably look worse when I’ve finished than it did before I started 🙈

Glad you're feeling better today. It's a hot day for hedge cutting!!

It’s really overcast where I am today. I’m going to have a go anyway, never done it before so hoping I don’t make a complete balls of it 🤞

It's a bit of a bugger, but time is the best healer and, as the weeks roll on, you will slowly get stronger.

Not trying to diminish your pain at all, but any significant change takes about six months for adjustments to become the new normal, in my opinion. I always say this to friends and myself if changing jobs or moving house.

With the emotional battering thrown into your situation, it will take more time.

However, what emerges at the end can be truly wonderful and liberating.

Lily. Do make a note of the house amd garden maintenance eg hedge cutting to include in the financials. If you weren’t doing them you’d have to employ someone.

I'm back! Was away this weekend and have just got back to my ecstatic doggy, which is lovely.

Have caught up with events and agree that XH probably wanted a nose around the house (did he want to see if you'd hooked up with someone else, I wonder, Lily? Maybe OW has fed him the line that you're being so quiet because you've already got yourself another man lined up?). Unless it really was 'vital' that he got his golf things...which is odd, my DS golfs and if he doesn't have his clubs he just borrows someone else's rather than drive a 60 mile round trip to here to dig them out of the garage...

Patterdale owner here, by the way. Terriers rule!

Hi Sunflowers. Yes I know it’s just time and it’s only 4 months since he left. I’m feeling more positive today though 😊

Cuttingthegrass I never even considered that, thank you, I’ll be sure to keep a note of everything I do.

OMG I’ve just finished cutting the hedge, it was bloody hard work! I’m sweating cobs and my arms are shaking. I bet I’ll ache tomorrow.

While I was cutting the hedge my neighbour came over to ask how I’m doing. Apparently him and his wife are “liking” and commenting on XH and OW’s SM posts! I put on my best smile and said “I’m really good thanks”. I’ve no doubt he’ll feed back to XH, although I wasn’t really looking my best 🙈

I have to say I’m quite proud of myself 😊

Hi Zaph. You’ve been missed 😊

Hope you had a nice weekend wherever you were.

Don’t know if “collecting golf gear” was genuine or not. Couldn’t tell if he’d been in the loft but definitely been in the shed - keys were back on wrong hook.

There’s still quite a few bits and bobs here of his, dvd’s, cd’s and books.

I know he left at 1.20 pm, so if he arrived at 1 pm, he didn’t have much time.

If, as some other posters have suggested, he is trying to make contact to discuss finances, he’s going to have to be more direct.

Thankfully the house was immaculate 😊

I’m going to look at Patterdales’s now 🐶

What the neighbour came over to tell you he likes and comments on twat for brains social media?

And yes it's a killer doing hedges, it's holding the trimmer up for extended periods. Well done though..if anything he will tell ex that you were cutting the hedge.😁

Oh no Bluntness. A friend of mine told me my neighbours were liking and commenting on his holiday posts.

The male neighbour is a two faced git, he was slagging XH off a few weeks ago to DS, but he’s still in contact with him. The irony is he’s on wife number 3, both previous wives dumped him for someone else! You’d think he wouldn’t tolerate cheating!

Yeah holding the trimmer up is really hard and the hedge is about 6 feet high. My forearms are bloody killing me 😬

Your neighbours clearly also a twat, hence his dumping, but glad he hadn't come over to tell you specifically 🤣

Any hint of bingo wings will be banished in the aftermath of hedge cutting,,,every cloud,..

Bluntness my neighbour’s previous two wives left him for other men, not the other way around 😂

Well done with the hedge. They are hard work, especially in hot weather.

Your neighbour sounds like a nosy sort. Good that you were just getting on with something when he turned up though.

Yes, that's what I meant, he is a twat, so he was dumped....