The Claw....a thread about loneliness

[HopelessWithNumbers]

Combating Loneliness At Weekends

I don’t know if this is 100% appropriate for ‘Relationships’ but a few of us on another thread have been discussing the horrible loneliness that can invade (not exclusively at weekends of course) when you are single or not single but feeling that the rest of the world is enjoying themselves with families, friends or partners.

Of course some people love their own company, but others struggle. My child is an adult so my time is pretty much my own (apart from work), but I have just come out of a relationship and am finding it difficult to keep the sadness and anxiety at bay.

Other people are in relationships but not getting what they need in some way, and so feeling sad and / or lonely.

Could we use this thread for supporting people in that position? Virtually and perhaps meeting in ‘real life’?

Feel a bit like I've lost her and can't help blaming school cos it's coincided with that

Hi, can I join?

@purpleme12 join our WhatsApp group, there's lots of chat there! (And everyone else who wants to)

Can I join, or should I start a splinter group for those who are married, or in a relationship, but bloody lonely?

A lot of the posts here resonate. I am married, have 2 friends * could call on in an emergency, but lonely because DH manages to connive to keep things to 'just the two of us'.
I have a lovely home but spend hours just wandering around it wondering what the hell the point of life is.

Whinge over 😁

Hi littlemiss and pennine, and welcome!
I still haven’t joined the whatssap group 🙄. Life’s got in the way!

Of course you don’t have to have a splinter group, loneliness is loneliness irrespectively. If anything, it’s worse when you’re in a relationship and it’s still lonely!

I’ve been working lots, that’s my excuse. Trying to find headspace when it’s so busy with going back to school and getting back into a routine. I’m not feeling lonely atm, if anything, I am craving a bit of loneliness 😂.

littlemiss, I’ve seen one of your threads, are you ok now? So sorry, it sounds awful!
I must get ready for work, but I’ll be back! Have a good day everyone!

Can I join please? In a very similar situation to Penninepain

Hi purple - you need to be in charge of what your daughter does - it’s perfectly normal she wants to play with her friends - she will cry when she’s brought in - it’s normal. Do not take it as a reflection of you and her love for you.
You may benefit from some parenting classes. Sometimes they are run through the education department in the council - maybe your health visitor knows.
You need to give her a 10 minute warning when it’s time to come in and then drop down to five minutes then two minutes then bring her in.
She will get used to it - she plays out a school and comes in after breaks.
Welcome all newbies - it’s my birthday today. I will wait till my son gets up and open my cards, no actual present to open but a voucher. 🎂☕️

As promised, greetings from DownUnder. Have been very emotionally fragile, not helped by the jet lag, but today I caught up with an old friend and he really made me pull my socks up. I also had a good professional meeting with a colleague, and have another tomorrow with another colleague. I'm trying to get some direction back in my life.
The weather is not great though! Colder than when I left the UK and I didn't bring enough warm clothes!
Love Melbourne but wow it's expensive here! Off to Perth on Wed to spend time with family and friends. Step by step I will claw my way back.

@Cawfee it can be a crap place to be, can't it?

I had planned to go to aquafit for the second time this morning, told DH yesterday and last night he said 'its going to be a lovely day tomorrow, lets go to blah blah for the day and I'll buy lunch'.

Yes, I could say no.
I could say, but I have already made plans.
I could say that I am sick of being pasted to him, unable to move without him at my heels, but I won't.

It is just not worth it. So I get lonlier and more introverted. And it is all my own fault - that is the stupid thing!

Ah well, hope everyone else has a good day 😊

It is worth it penninepain. It’s worth sticking up for what you want to do. I’ve started doing that and it feels great. Next time say “sure we can go out for the day when I get back from aqua fit” it should be possible to do both. He’s suffocating and manipulating you into loneliness

Morning all. Hope everyone is doing ok.

We had busy weekend with my eldest birthday. Very lucky this weekend fell on my weekend to be with the kids. I can't imagine not being with them on these special occasions but will have to face up to it soon. But in reflection any day out or special occasion had the joy sucked out of it by ex. So at least it is only me who can make it a day to remember for the right reasons.

@purpleme12 It is only natural you miss your daughter. Starting. School is a big change. But a good opportunity to get new routine. Maybe let her play for an hour after school then in tea time and stay in. The darker nights are coming so won't be out playing for much longer.

@Dan89 glad to hear the cat has settled in. My boy is great company. Really want another cat put sensible head on knows it is another expense I could do without.

@8FencingWire good you are keeping busy. The term time routine is a lot more hectic for me. And although I miss the kids eow I do appreciate a little breathing space.

@dragonslair glad to hear you have arrived safely. And met up with friends. Hope the change is what you need to feel more like you.

Welcome new people. Sorry you have found yourself here. Lonely is lonely if you are on your own or in a relationship that makes you feel lonely. @Penninepain do carve out a life for you. No matter how small the time is. My ex use to do that if he knew I had plans he would mess them up in some way.

Ex popped in last night to see ds as his birthday today and his week is very busy so not sure when he will see him. First time he has been in the house for a long time. Part of me was sad it was like this. But a little bit of peace came my way when he left. So some progress has been made. Another sunny day here today so that is a positive.

Hi All

Maybe someone remembers me; I’ve not posted for a long long time but have been reading every now and again.

It’s good to see how people are supporting each other on here!

I’ve been struggling a little bit with all the talk about children on here to be honest, which is my main issue again at the moment. My divorce has come through a week ago and since then I have found it difficult to pick myself up. I didn’t realise how much this stupid piece of paper would affect me. I’ve sorted myself some counselling as I don’t think it’s normal to be that affected by my miscarriage and separation two years on.

Not sure whether I will stay on the thread but I just wanted to say hello and tell you all how strong you are and how well you are doing, despite all the hurdles in your way.

@FolkGirlAtHeart don't feel you have to leave us. Everyone's worries are real and you have dealt with an awful lot. It is good that you have organised your counselling.

Be kind to yourself.

Just thought I’d bump the thread. We are still here.
I’ve had a very busy week at work - not had time to pick my nose! I’m only part time - we have 3 agency staff and not one of them said they would apply for a job - they all want to leave.
I’m going away with a friend this weekend - I’ve too much to do at home and I was tempted to cancel - however I know it will do me good.
How is every one else?

Hello all! I’m still here too :)
I’ve been caught up in the whole going back to school story, I have also worked far far too much. Although I said I won’t take any extra work on, I found myself agreeing to another early shift today, on the basis that it’s only half a day and there is no one else that can come in...and the money will cone in handy 🙄.
That’s it, from today the night becomes longer than the day, I’m going into hibernation. I’ll be in, counting my money....going out on bills and stuff😂.

I went to the second book club: I love it! Met some interesting people and had an animated discussion about the book, I enjoyed this one.

I have forgotten myself for a while, been busy with everybody else, but I plan to come from work, do my housework and then cook and watch some TV with the kid.

Tomorrow is rest day. Maybe a walk on the beach, but not a lot else. Not seeing anybody, but I need that.
What’s everybody up to?

Morning all. Hope everyone is keeping ok? The weather seems to of turned and I have dug out my jeans instead of shorts for the allotment today. After that I ha e no plans. Which is a first for me. The kids are with their dad. And I usually fill every minuet. So don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

Joining after this thread was mentioned on another thread. I’m a single mum, no friends and no social life. I work part time and am friendly enough with colleagues but not friends past liking a post on FB.

I do have a good family, but I know I rely too heavily on my mum for company. If not for her my son and I would be on our own every evening and weekend he is not with his Dad. It is so good to find a thread like this, as I don’t think people who have relationships and a good social life can understand how I feel.

It is hard in real life to say you are lonely, that you envy people their family life and socialising. I can’t talk about it to my mum asit gets her down. I am contemplating turning my Facebook off as I am constantly clicking on certain profiles then hating my own life, but I have some groups on there that I like to post on so don’t want to lose that.

Welcome DarkDarkNight did you want to join the whatsapp group? I have found it has really helped me with loneliness.

Hi I'm lonely. Moved around a few times and don't really have anyone apart from my ex! Friends I see occasionally but they are not really close friends and they don't live nearby. Have a teenage daughter who is lonely too - I feel responsible but I try so hard to encourage her and I arrange things with other people but it never seems to "go" anywhere. Just would like someone next door or down the road to pop round for coffee/glass of vino. Be perfect if they had teenager(s) too... Family live couple of hundred miles away and are never interested or too busy to visit more than once a year! Bit crap really when I think about it too much. Be nice to keep this thread going then we can pop in and chat xx

Evening new comers. Sorry you have found yourselves here. Life is a struggle at times and people are lonely at different times in life. My children are younger and I think when they are older I could join a class. Or the gym. But it is just as difficult then too.

Hope you can get some support from others. And join the WhatsApp group. It's nice to have friends to 'chat' to day to day.

Can I join the wotsapp group?

Hi yes you can but I don’t know how to do this but will text the person who set it up and get back to you purpleme.

Hi everyone I haven’t been on here for a while but I’m glad people are still finding it useful.

Folk I hope you’re still reading. I can understand why it might be difficult but I hope you stay.

dragon good to hear from you. It sounds like getting away was a good decision.

Sorry @purpleme12 I just checked my inbox! I've sent on your number to be added to the group

Morning to anyone where the claw is digging deep today. I have things planned later , but this time of day I find hard it's just so quiet and the loneliest time x