The Claw....a thread about loneliness

[HopelessWithNumbers]

Combating Loneliness At Weekends

I don’t know if this is 100% appropriate for ‘Relationships’ but a few of us on another thread have been discussing the horrible loneliness that can invade (not exclusively at weekends of course) when you are single or not single but feeling that the rest of the world is enjoying themselves with families, friends or partners.

Of course some people love their own company, but others struggle. My child is an adult so my time is pretty much my own (apart from work), but I have just come out of a relationship and am finding it difficult to keep the sadness and anxiety at bay.

Other people are in relationships but not getting what they need in some way, and so feeling sad and / or lonely.

Could we use this thread for supporting people in that position? Virtually and perhaps meeting in ‘real life’?

Morning everyone. Friday has dawned.
Do you have plans for the weekend?

Morning @HopelessWithNumbers hope you have something to look forward to this weekend. I am at the allotment and the night shelter tomorrow. And poss a date sat night. So busy day tomorrow. Hopefully the sun will shine for the weekend.

I've just discovered this thread - can I join please
On my own for last 3 months after breakdown of LTR. Grown up son and feel very alone and lost. I'm so used to looking after everyone and now suddenly I have no one to care for. Its quite disconcerting!

Hi Sammy. Welcolme.

Thanks everyone. Survived the course, with many private tears, and some public ones. Got home last night, drank way too much, was in a very dark place. So when I got up this morning I booked a flight to Australia leaving on Thursday. Work for myself so I have this flexibility. I have family there and am just running away from it all. Hoping that three weeks away might give me a bit of perspective and ease the horrible horrible pain. I feel totally lost.

Good for you, @dragonslair

The weather in Oz is improving now so you can while away your time on the beach!

eve, I’m still after some courgettes!!! 🤣. So, who’s the date? (Can I just be a complete idiot and check that you do let someone know who and where you’re meeting and that you got back home safe? I apologise if it sounds weird, it’s not meant to be)
dragon, you go, girl! If that’s running away from problems, you have my blessing! A bit of sun and family feeding will do you a world of good:). We have to update from the camp when we’re away, you know that, so you’ll have to write to us :)
sammy, how I see it is: you either relish the freedom and enjoy calling the shots...or you get a dog ( I so so want a dog it’s not even funny). Either way it’s going to be good :). And we’re here!
Hi hopeless! What are you up to this weekend?

I restarted pilates. After a very loooong time! I’m wobbly and shaky, but thanks to seriously impressive hypermobility, I’m doing alright. I booked and paid for 5 sessions. I have no core strenght anymore. But I’m bendy enough.

I plan to read the book for my book club this weekend, finish ironing the biggest pile of washing you’ve ever seen in your lives, making 5 packed lunches for the kid and 4 for me. I also plan to cook (batch). My mother slipped 2 lemons in my bag. We found them when we got back. I whistled through customs: me, nah, NOTHING to declare. What is she thinking? Officer, I have no idea how the lemons ended up in my child’s luggage. My mother must have planted them 🤪 We don’t have lemons here, I had to bring them from thousands of kilometers. But, thank you very much, they are going into a lemon drizzle cake.

When I’m done pretending I’m Nigella I’ll just collapse. Here’s to the weekend!

fencingwire
Laughing at the lemons!
We just came back from holiday- my uncle put some cactus into my case. When I got home I found it and also a note from customs to say they have checked my case and sorry they had to open it! They left the cactus. Wierd!

Morning all

Welcome@Sammysees sorry you are joining us. Hope you get some comfort from the thread. And you have something to look forward to this weekend

@dragonslair well done for getting through the week and pleased to hear you are getting away from it all. I hope a few weeks respite will give you brief time to pause and heal enough to move forward.

@8FencingWire thank you for the laugh about your lemons. Cake sounds lovely. You are a domestic goddess. Don't worry about date. I meet in public place and don't drink I keep my drinks safe. Sad In this day and age you have to be suspicious about everything. Only a few random million strangers on the internet know about date. Oh and @anotherfail in real life. I don't want people knowing until I know how I feel about it. But I do appreciate your concerns and take it on board.

Typically I'm awake at silly o'clock on my day off. But will get to the allotment this morning. Need to get some birthday bits. My eldest will be 12. When both kids were born I so loved their dad. Was proud we made a stable family. I miss it. And him. The old him. Not this I'll be happy at any cost wanker. (Sorry. But he has spectacularly excelled himself this week). So still moving forward one step at a time.

Happy Saturday everyone

Thank you for the welcome guys. Life is complicated with my ds (18) at the mo. Devastatingly so. I try to keep busy at the weekends with friends (I’m going to an onion fayre this afternoon lol!) but I certainly didn’t expect to be this lonely at my age (52). Ha, I’d love a dog. That would be the best thing ever! But I don’t want the responsibility. This is the first time in over 20 years that I only have to think about me. I need a new evening dog 😂

Hi Sammy and welcome.

Morning all. I’m meeting Mary today, so looking forward to that. Tomorrow meeting a friend to go to the Serpentine Gallery.

Well done for getting through what must have been a tough week dragon. Great idea to get away. I hope it’s restful and repairing, as far as possible.

Enjoy your lemons 8 and the weekend. Sounds like a busy one.

Have a good date Eve Hope it goes well.

I had a small triumph yesterday. Only tiny but....I’ve had a difficult week at work and dealing with feelings about my recent ex (I say that to distinguish him from my drinking ex who is still in my life but not as a partner!).
Anyway, I came home late from work and walked past the shop, it was screaming at me to go in and buy some chocolate, BUT I RESISTED. Go me 💪

Hi and welcome Sammy and all you new people!
Totally recommend the whatsapp group - has been a godsend for me the last couple of days (feeling wobbly as anniversary of separation) but the lovely people have kept me sane.
Dragon enjoy Australia! I think you deserve a holiday.

A bit of a rubbish weekend. Just feel fed up. Weather probably making a difference, the lack of light.

I feel like school has taken away my fun with my daughter and obviously I don't have as much time with her either. We can't just go out and have fun whenever anymore.

And I'm thinking of when to fit everything in now and how to make it easier for her to get up in the morning whereas before we could be more relaxed.

My daughter would spend all her time with her friends if she has the opportunity which kind of makes me feel a bit rejected in a way.

I think I just funny feel useful

Having spent the last 2 hours ironing 25 school shirts, purple, I feel your pain :) (no, I don’t have 10 children, I only have one, plus a weird system).
Mine’s a teenager, she refused to join in anything this weekend, just went into town at 11 am, came back at 4 and has had a major strop because I asked her to hang her shirts in her wardrobe.

It’ll be a period of adjustment, then it’ll all fall back onto place. I loved this last summer, I’m looking forward to the autumn/winter now :)

hopeless, I indulge when I’m stressed, so yay you for being strong!!!

I had a busy weekend, I am shattered. Hope you all have a good night sleep and week ahead!

Morning all.
That is quite an ironing session 8!

How is everyone? I quite like autumn and don’t mind the dark evenings. I’ve always been like that. I quite like the dark in general.
I struggle a bit more with dark mornings. Going to work and coming home in the dark is not so good.
I’m going to try to make sure I get outside at lunchtimes to get some
daylight.

Dark mornings/evenings are some of my least favourite things! I think I'll have to invest in a SAD lamp

I really think one of those might do me good too. They're so expensive though!

It doesn't help that is a dark house.
The windows have that black muntin? I think it's called on the windows which I hate. Little black diamond patterns. Which makes it even darker that it would be. I hate having to put the light on in the day in September

I think it's £60 for a basic Lumie and of you use it every day, it should pay for itself!

I'll look it up later when I've got time

Hi gang,

How is everyone doing? I've had my cat for two weeks now and he's already made himself right at home. He's a real character and I look forward to coming home to see him everyday. Pets really do help.

Despite that, I'm feeling a bit low today. I'm moving to a new team at work on Monday but I really enjoyed my old team and am sad to leave (I work in the NHS so I have to move teams every 6 months). I think what makes it worse though is that although I got on really well with everyone and had some great "banter" with people, I know that our friendships were based on work and will not last into the 'real' world.

It's my birthday this week, I turn 34 and I'm just really aware of the passage of time now. I didn't think I would be this lonely at 34. I will be spending my birthday at work, then I will have dinner with my mum which is great, but I realise I don't have any close friends to spend my birthday with, nor do I really have anyone to have a proper conversation with.

Hope everyone else is doing ok

I feel the same. It's hard. But yes pets are the best.

Today has been stressful. I feel like my child's behaviour and listening to me is just getting worse. All she ever wants to do is play with her friends on the street now so I don't think that helps. I've not got all that time with her now. I feel like I'm losing my influence. And I don't know how I'm going to do it.

And she's only 4 for god's sake!