DH has not come home yet...

[HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall]

He went to work at 6:30am yesterday, said he was going to have a drink after work and I've not heard from him or seen him since then, he finished work at 12:30.

He's not done this before, but he has recently been lying to me about who he has been out drinking with.

I lost friends through my illness. It’s difficult to comprehend when friends cannot separate you from your child and me from my illness.

Hop you have a nice time this evening. Bloody good job your mum will be there for you.

gosh, for you OP. You are so strong x

Op how awful for you

It's so annoying that kissing, cuddling and holding hands is not indicative of an affair (according to the law) adultery is hard to prove unless the respondent admits it, I have been told that it is better to not name the co-respondent

Op you don't need to prove adultery to divorce him. Just cite unreasonable behaviour or irreconcilable differences. It really doesn't matter in the end

Yes, OP, you don't have to use adultery as your grounds. I went for unreasonable behaviour. I cited the affair in that as one of the unreasonable behaviours. I realised that I could also think of a lot of others!

I know that I don't need to prove adultery in order to get divorced but I have no intention of letting them off lightly, to me unreasonable behaviour seems like a cop out.

I will have to see what the solicitor says when I see him.

These days you don't have the prove anything re affairs. If the marridge is over then thats more or less it , its all who gets what and is responisble for paying whatever.

But go thru it with you solicitor first OK!

This site has some usefull info.

www.divorce.co.uk/

Hi OP,

How are you doing? Sorry you're in this mess but sounds like you have your head on straight. Good luck with the solicitor, keep us posted.

Have you got a solicitor appointment OP?
Your still being so amazingly well keeping it together
Does her Husband know yet?
I'd let everyone know the exact reason you are getting a divorce. X

Have been in touch with a solicitor, so will wait and see what he says at the actual appointment, I did give him a brief summary of what's going on and he gave me some information about the process.

Found out a few more things yesterday that makes everything clearer.

What did you find out op? Glad you have an appointment with the solicitors. I hope that goes well xx

Don't get hung up on the grounds for divorce. Nobody sees the papers or knows the grounds apart from the two of you so it's pointless. You won't get a better deal or a Quicker divorce or a chance to shame him if you divorce him for adultery. The actual divorce process is just a box ticking exercise and it's a case of ticking one box or another. I don't think there's even an opportunity to name the other party on the form.

Anyway, just wanted to say keep going, keep strong and keep your chin up. We are all right behind you

I'm sorry you're finding more out. It hurts like hell I know.

Even if it's not evidence of adultery, she has evidence of unreasonable behaviour... lying about drinking with another woman, disappearing all night, hidden romantic letters

I’m so sorry you’re going through this

You sound so strong and sensible, it may not feel like it now but you will get through this and you will be happy again

Oh no, what an awful thing to happen, I’m so sorry. Why do people do such shitty things to the ones they’re supposed to love?

Why do people do such shitty things to the ones they're supposed to love

Because they are self centered arseholes.
Because they don't give a shit.
Because they want something that someone else has.
Because their dick overrules their head.
Too much money and not enough sense.
Because they believe that they are entitled to do what they want with no consequences.

Delete as appropriate.

What did you find that makes things clearer?

Just read all of yr posts on here have you.You sound strong and level headed. Good luck with all this. I shall follow to see your continued good progress.

@LexieLulu just some other paperwork that connects up with some dates, evidence of some purchases that don't belong to anyone in our house but has a connection to what was written in one of the letters.

Urgh! Does 'D'H know you know yet?

When is your solicitor booked for?

I think he suspects that I know.

He is avoiding me.

Solicitor booked for Monday

Keep smiling. Not long now x

This makes me even mader for you. Why should he be ignoring you? Your not the one in the wrong here he is. I bet the OW is panicking now if he has told her he suspects you know. She'll probably be wondering when its going to come out and what her husband will say.