DH has not come home yet...

[HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall]

He went to work at 6:30am yesterday, said he was going to have a drink after work and I've not heard from him or seen him since then, he finished work at 12:30.

He's not done this before, but he has recently been lying to me about who he has been out drinking with.

You can't be strong all of the time. Is there anyone else you can call upon, who you know is on your team, if your Mum is unable to step up?

I agree you can't be strong all the time. Hot bath, glass of wine and early night . It'll feel a bit better tomorrow 🌺

ajandjjmum it's not that mum can't step up just that she feels she can't come here, DS will miss that even though he barely sees/speaks to her when she comes and we will have to go to her house instead but because of his anxiety (autism related) we will have to keep the visits short.

Sparklepops123 alcohol is one of the reasons why this mess has happened, I can't hardly drink (I'm on strong painkillers most days) 'D'H likes to drink too much.

What I was trying to suggest was something to relax you at the end of each day, could be a book or whatever, just something to try and take your mind off the situation for 5 mins

sparkle pops I realise that is what you were suggesting I was just explaining why alcohol is a no no.

I have decided that I want to know if the OW husband knows what is going on, the only way I have of getting in touch with him is going to their house (or going to the club which means that 'D'h and OW would know about it) since they are living separate lives but in the same house it will be difficult to do.

Does she work ? Could you go to house then?

She works mornings, I work during the day

Why can't your mum come over? Doesn't she want to see your STBXH.

SandyY2K she "doesn't want to be in the way, or make things awkward" for me she also thinks I have enough to deal with atm without going to pick her up and drop her off, seriously you could cut the atmosphere here with a knife and the silence is deafening.

Tell him you want him out by a certain date or you WILL tell her husband

Now I really don't know what to do, things are going to get messy.

According to DS (while at an event) he overheard OW shooting her mouth off about her and stbxh, DS reacted to this in a way that is totally in keeping with his diagnosis of an ASD and SpLD, OW responded by basically threatening DS and calling him names, apparently stbxh stood up for DS and was obviously not happy about it.

So now the cat has been let out of the bag by the OW, I've had to tell DS almost everything in order to stop his anxiety from spiralling out of control again, he's worried about the future and what will happen on his birthday and at Christmas etc, he is also worried about stbxh's family and whether their feelings towards him will change.

He also made me promise not to do anything stupid.

Oh shit

She’s a classy bird, isn’t she?

I wish I had a suggestion but all I can offer is a hand hold x

I’m not one for revenge but,

Destroy Her.

Guess STBXH is seeing a whole other side to her. Shame.

The name calling was quite odd actually, considering what ASD encompasses (triad of impairments)

But yeah as you say real classy.

If it continues I will have my revenge, after all revenge is a dish best served cold.

Oh yes, a whole other side...

What a complete bitch, it'll be interesting to see how stbxh deals with this. She really rates her self doesn't she? ( self delusion)

Sparklepops, yes she does rate herself.

I as yet don't know how stbxh will deal with it, ds doesn't want me to tell stbxh that he knows what is going on because he wants to hear stbxh side of this.

my partner did this. after countless unanswered text and calls he finally text to say staying at sister as early start and then switched his phone off. what he was actually doing was having sex with another woman.

I don't think he is being truthful about his whereabouts... Definitely question him way further, I think you need to ask who this friend was that he supposedly stayed with and ask them too.

Good luck xxx

You might want to rtft. You've missed quite a bit.

Gosh OP. I'd be willing to take the assault charge and clout the OW in the gob (and done) after what she's done and her calling your DS names.

Not helpful I know!

I have a teenage DS with similar difficulties to yours. I can't imagine how you're keeping it together with your cunt of an 'H' still in the house.

Can you lock him out and if he takes any action, say that he cannot stay as your vulnerable DS knows what he's done and it's distressing for him and you, as his carer?

So angry for you .

Oh goodness just seen your thread - I'm so sorry you have such a horrible STBXH.
Just a little input - sounds like you do all the evenings even though you work too - can you start telling your husband he has to be home with your child half the week so you can start getting out ast night too, catching up with friends and perhaps starting to rebuild your social life? He seems to be popping out with SOW (slut other woman) as and when he feels like it?!

@sparklequeen18 please read the thread for more information about the friend and stbxhs whereabouts on the night in question

aquamarine2

Madmum I'm actually trying to think of a reason why I should not get the police involved, after all this isn't the first time she has threatened ds with violence.