DH has not come home yet...

[HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall]

He went to work at 6:30am yesterday, said he was going to have a drink after work and I've not heard from him or seen him since then, he finished work at 12:30.

He's not done this before, but he has recently been lying to me about who he has been out drinking with.

Exactly what otherprofile said 💐

ID be frequentling the same places with the team.

Has he said why he won't move out?

Agatha, I imagine OW’s husband not found out yet and he has nowhere to go....

Will he be sensible - I’d bet that will again depend on OW. If she ends it he’ll try and come back tail between his legs.

God OP, I am very impressed at your cool. He’s staying in the marital home knowing he’s been caught bang to rights for shagging someone else, he’s received a solicitors letter and he’s STILL gallivanting around his usual haunt like a dog with two dicks?

I’d tell the fucking OW’s DH. Call me a vengeful shitbag but I’m choking with rage for you.

Kick him out

Hells Bells OP... I am in awe of your control your dignity and your strength for your Sons ..... and your cruel situation...

I hope you he agrees to the divorce and grounds and gives you and your Sons the peace you so truly deserve

Really hoping that he doesn't start playing up. X

PaulHollywoodsSexGut your post at 12:20 today really made me laugh.

Anasnake how should I kick him out he is bigger, stronger and heavier than me, he also is legally entitled to live in our house, whether I want him to leave or not I cannot force him to leave.

Gemini69 and TheMonkeyMummy I too hope he does the decent thing preferably before I lose all control of my lips and allow them to start flapping

When my XH betrayed him I told him he had to leave - I couldn't imagine being in the same building as him. He never had a chance to come back.

It wasn't about legal rights it was that he had hurt me so badly and destroyed our family and he had no moral right to be here. He obeyed.

I have the upmost respect for you OP and how you've handled it all. But its okay to exercise cold hard anger. Fuck him.

I have a message for your lips HaveYouSeen - flap away!

Just to clarify. When I confronted them both I told him to pack his bags and fuck off, unfortunately he got home before me because my friends wouldn't let me drive home in the state that I was in, when I did get home I couldn't have another confrontation because DS was there and I didn't want all hell breaking loose because that would have caused a meltdown of catastrophic proportion and I would have been on the recieving end of it, autism and learning difficulties in our case can lead to self harming and lashing out, DS has come a long way but I won't put him in a position where he can't process information fast enough and ends up self harming and/or lashing out through no fault of his own. I cannot and will not force a situation at home where that will be the result. Our home is ds' safe space (where he can totally be himself, where he can quietly recover from the hustle and bustle of daily life and where he can prepare emotionally and physically for the next day) it needs to remain that way.

You don't need to explain yourself, it's very clear your kids are top priority to you 💐

ajandjjmum I have to report that my lips did flap a little bit last night and a few acquaintances now know a lot more than they did.

What a shitty situation. Hope he accepts what the solicitor has said.

sparklepops123 you're right I shouldn't have to, however short one liners such as kick him out without saying anything useful really don't help matters do they? It's annoying because it shows that the person who posted it hasn't read or fully understood the the whole thread, if it was that easy I would have done it weeks ago and saved myself a load of hassle. I know that many people don't understand Autism and if what I have posted helps educate a few people then it's better than ignoring the comments.

GlitteryFluff thanks for the flowers.

Re her being at the event....all the more reason for you to go. I still give the ow a super sweet smile and a cheerful hello! She can't paint me as the vengeful wife. Does her nut in. It is a gift that keeps giving years later......

Shame your husband doesn’t have an ounce of the compassion and love you so obviously have to protect your son. Can you point this out to him? Get him to see that his child is far far more important in the consideration than he is?

Not sure it will work based on how he’s behaved so far but just a thought. You are amazing OP.

Op. just read your thread

Just wanted to say that my kids don't have autism but when my x cheated, I made the decision to act in a way which didn't disturb them as I've seen in my job too many fucked up kids from their parents drama, and I didn't want mine to be.
My quiet dignity and calm handling (even tho I literally wanted blood) really helped them to emerge relatively unscathed and I still feel really glad that I held my head up.
Years later I still think ow was disappointed at my total lack of response
She is stuck with the loser now anyway and he does exactly as he pleases while she is a drudge mum of 4 under 7 😬

you’ve done a lot better in this situation than I would have done.

What a pair of selfish arseholes.

Thedutchwife thank you.

Unescorted yeah maybe I should continue to go, it would be ever so slightly funny. Dropped in there the other day, very few people had turned up and if looks could kill I'd be six feet under by now. The topic of conversation turned out to be something which I knew far more about than anyone else so I had a little fun with that.

Ledkr thank you.

Well today I feel really down, have had a long chat with my mum, she won't be able to come to our house for the foreseeable future, I understand why but I didn't realise just how much this shit situation would affect us all, including her.

Feels like I'm standing on cliff edge with nowhere left to run.