DH has not come home yet...

[HaveYouSeentheWritingontheWall]

He went to work at 6:30am yesterday, said he was going to have a drink after work and I've not heard from him or seen him since then, he finished work at 12:30.

He's not done this before, but he has recently been lying to me about who he has been out drinking with.

You're not alone, we are here for you 💐

What a dickhead , so sorry you’re going through this OP. I hope you take him to the cleaners .

Also on the practical aspect of things it may be worth having an sti check just to be on the safe side .

You sound really strong and even though it must be horrendous right now , you will get through this xx

Thanks, no I'm not sleeping in the marital bed. I would love to be there when the shit hits the fan, I have been told that 'D'H isn't the first married man she's gone after.

And he probably won't be the last which is when he'll realise what he's lost, but by then you'll of moved completely on

She maybe likes them till the shit hits the fan and then dumps them off!!

Exactly,she'll be in it for the dinner dates, gifts etc - she doesn't want to wash his socks , not sure who's worse him or her

He sounds like a dick.

@sparklepops123 probably that or the "excitement" of them not been caught but now they have it will probably wear off. I hope her DH takes her to the cleaners. She probably will regret it all then

She hasn't got much, the house is his, don't know how long they have been married.

Has the OW and husband got kids op?

He is going to regret this for the rest of his life. Whilst you will be free from a lying, cheating cunt and live your life happily, he will be sad and lonely and pathetic.

Good for you for being strong! Their relationship won't last if she's gone for married guys before
She has her dependable husband who she won't divorce as she doesn't own the house and so will be left with little. She will enjoy her fun but eventually your dh will want a woman to do all the things you used to do, especially in years to come when he's older and women aren't falling at his feet to get in his pants and give him attention and that won't be her because she's already got a husband.
They deserve eachother and the shit that they'll go through later.

Sam she has grown up kids, don't know if they are her husband's too don't know how long they have been married and don't give a fuck anyway

Oops strike out fail.

sparklepops123 yeah judging by the evidence I have found so far she has enjoyed many gifts and dinner dates and while my birthday gift was cheap as chips it looks like she got a nice expensive piece of jewellery.

Bloody hell he really is a low life. Don't know how you're keeping so dignified. But good for you.

When you say shit hits the fan, have you a time plan?

She wouldn't be interested if he wasn't splashing the cash, they're both trash. You will move on to bigger and better times 💐

Goodness what a scum bag your DH has turned out to be !! So sorry for you OP. Glad to see you are getting on top of things fast. Stay strong and good luck

Was talking to my lovely mum a couple of days ago, she said that she thought we have been just drifting along for a few years now and I wasn't able to see it because it had become so normal, now don't get me wrong here but DH and I didn't used to get to go out together as a couple because we couldn't get anyone to 'babysit' for us because DS had extreme behaviours (Autism related) so DH would go out drinking a few nights a week.

As DS grew up and the extreme behaviours lessened and others could cope with DS for a few hours we started going out together again but it soon became clear that the expectation was that while i would sit nursing a couple of cans of coke and be the designated driver DH would get drunk because he would only go somewhere where he could drink. I resented that and eventually stopped going out so often. Then came the vile comments from the OW about my teammates and their families so I cut down on going out even further. I now only go out occasionally.

Should I have gone out more for the sake of my marriage and just sucked up the vile comments from a bitter and twisted woman? Would the affair have begun if I did go out more often?

Last sentence is rhetorical really, I think I know the answers anyway. But that's what keeps going round and round in my head.

She probably would of found her way to get her claws in OP. None of this is your fault though so don't think if I'd of gone out etc x

If it's in him to cheat he'd of done it anyway despite any scenario and you were the one putting your child's needs first

The thing that really worries me now is that when it is all out in the open it will affect DS the most, he will not cope well with the changes that are inevitable, one of my main concerns is that it may prevent DS going to one of the events that he goes to because of the costs involved and another because the OW is frequently in the same place.

That's a hard one because she's obviously not going to have the sensitivity to stay away to make things easier

Yes that's absolutely right, she has already proven that she has as much sensitivity as a bull in a china shop.