Dating Thread 136 - Can Anybody Find Me Somebody to Love?

[ValMc1]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

@HalfDutchGirl

I've kind of agreed to a date with a guy who I know isn't going to be my type but he's so nice and polite and easy to talk to I thought I'd give him a chance. We're going for lunch next week

His profile picture is horrific but I'm hoping he'll be better in real life!

Any tips for the actual date? I've agreed to about 7 but none have happened as yet

My main fear is awkward silences 😳 hate those!!

just catching up on the thread

i was tempted to reply 'You're incredibly ugly and full of shit' but decided against

dutch that made me spit my drink out!!

Kin ... I just think it's very sultry. Dunno about S&M.
That could be as yet unexplored!!

Definitely I'm romantic given half a chance 😝

Just checking in, been woken up twice since midnight for non-urgent calls and can't get back to sleep. I can guarantee as soon as I do I'll get one that I actually have to get up for.

Anyway, I had an outdoorsy date with Mr DiamondMine today and we managed to talk for nearly 7 hours solid. He really is lovely, it feels very easy and natural, and still no red flags at all. It's actually now over 4 months since we first met but I've still been thinking of it as early days. I'm definitely a bit smitten with him though - part of the reason I've wanted to take it so slowly on sleeping with him is because I knew that if I did then I'd be a bit blinded by that and more likely to overinvest/ignore any red flags as I have done in the past. I'm really enjoying getting to know him slowly like this without the sex hormones clouding my judgement. That's not to say I don't want to jump him though, I really do now and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way!

He said today that he hasn't met anyone else since we started dating and he's come off POF (only site he used) but he didn't pressure me in any way. I thought about it and have hidden my profile on POF and come off Tinder and Bumble tonight, I don't want to meet anyone else at the moment. It's his 40th birthday in the next couple of months and he asked if I want to go away with him for it and I said yes. We shall see what happens!

Oh and my song contributions:

Wicked Game - Chris Isaak
Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding
A Man And A Woman - U2
I'm On Fire - Bruce Springsteen
Rhiannon - Fleetwood Mac
Undisclosed Desires - Muse
Enjoy the Silence - Depeche Mode*
It's No Good - Depeche Mode*
Ocean - Goldfrapp feat. Dave Gahan*
Please Forgive Me - David Gray
Daniel - Bat for Lashes
Something Just Like This - Chainsmokers/Coldplay
This Is What You Came For - Calvin Harris feat. Rihanna
Crazy For You - Madonna

For pure cheese value it'd be Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen, Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler or Show Me Heaven by Maria McKee

*Dave Gahan is sex on legs. The things I would do to him even though he's 20 years older than me. He just looks like pure filth.

Vet that's great news about Mr DiamondMine. He sounds lovely.
Definitely agree with you on Dave Gahan.

HalfDutch I'm having a laugh with Tinder Gold now. So many in their twenties have liked me! So wrong!
But I decided to match with some of the 30+ gang and have had some decent messages.
It amazes me that none of them have asked my age. I may not get any dates but it's giving me some entertainment for a while.

Checking in and trying to catch up.

Patiently waiting for my Mr Campervan return, hopefully I will see him later this week.

Still getting messages from other irons and a FWB who’s being very persuasive but at the moment I can’t stop thinking about Mr Campervan (which is bad isn’t it?). When is it ok to have the exclusive talk? I don’t want to scare him off and I’m petrified of rejection, do I wait a bit?

Holy Moly, I go and do real life for a couple of days and we've got a new thread 8 pages long already!

Cant remember if I posted about my date last Thursday, it was fab. Lots of fun and laughs. Seeing him again this weekend.

Loving the playlists... I like Vals, my kind of music. I might have to make my very own and it will feature B52s.

Yay Vet - so pleased for you. Fingers crossed MrDiamondMine is a true diamond.

Glad you had a good date too Vixen - what's this one called?

Sounds like you had an excellent game of football Kin especially the 'extra time'.

Runs glad you had an interesting date, even if you didn't want to take it any further.

I had my date with Mr EMAS and it went well. We meet for a drink that turned into dinner. He messaged afterwards and said he fancied me! I think I could fancy him but need to get to know him better. He seems keen for another date, so we'll see how that goes.

Am going to cancel dinner with MrBlackCountry on Tuesday. I can't get past the tummy. He was nice, so I want to find a polite way of declining - does anyone have any tips?

lovemusic take a chill pill, girl! You'll know when it's right to have that chat, and if you are questioning it now, then it isn't right yet. Listen to your instincts not your hormones .

vet I like your list. Going to add some of yours (and others' suggestions) to my playlist, which is getting looooong!

I have been chatting to this guy recently who is very interesting, and has such a sexy voice! He is an ex civil servant so I'll call him Mr XCIV.

I found some interesting research on this:
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-and-mating/201604/is-sexy-voice-more-attractive-pretty-face

Puts into perspective a guy I met a few weeks ago, who was very physically attractive but sounded a bit like Joe Pasquale! We didn't have a second date!

wishy not your type? horrific profile picture? I hope you're remembering that you are the prize!

Soso interesting...

Vet How on earth can you chat to someone for 7 hours straight?!? Nice playlist - good to see another Depeche Mode fan, even if you interest is different to mine!

Love - would it be good if you weren't thinking of Mr Campervan?

Jax you're thinking Loveshack, right?

@Kinunir

When I say horrific, he's not an ogre it's just a very very bad angle 😂

And he's offering a free lunch... 🤷🏼‍♀️

Margo maybe try the shit sandwich.
"you are a lovely guy. I'm not feeling a romantic spark, but I am so pleased we got to meet..."

"was lovely to meet up with you the other day. I don't feel it's heading towards romance, but I honestly wish you well and I'm sure you'll find the right match soon..."

Margo Extra time was most enjoyable, though I have to say I'm glad it didn't go to penalties - that would have been too much, even for me to handle.

Mr EMAS sounds interesting and, if the tummy bothers you, don't compromise.

wishy ok, 'not horrific' sounds like, erm, a step in the right direction, as does lunch

wishy there is no such thing as a free lunch! I always go halves if eating out, or take alternate turns. I don't want to feel that I owe anybody anything if that makes sense. I hope he turns out to be charismatic and sexy in other ways than his profile picture conveys!

Thanks Bendy those are genuinely helpful even if they are shit sandwiches!

no problem margo. I've had a bit of practice with these recently!

Also, with my job I often have to deliver unwelcome advice. It's kinder to do it as early as possible.

I'm going to check in even though I'm away as the kids are still asleep and I am bloody wide awake fgs. Don't want to say where I am in case anyone knows me in RL but I am having a right laugh at the bumble profiles abroad (won't do anything while I'm here just browsing). I'm starting to think the men that match with me in the UK are quite reserved!

First of all, all their photos look incredible. Their profiles are hysterical ' if you match with me and only say hi, the only word you'll get from me is goodbye' 'I was addicted to the hokey cokey but I turned it around' !!

Perhaps I've been dating in the wrong country all along!

love it sounds fabulous and I would just go with your heart on this one. You're not long enough into it that there's too much to lose even though it sounds so hopeful!

Ahhh Bendy - You sound like you have morals.... I'm happy to take the lunch and run!

😋🏃🏼‍♀️

Ha! I also always pay half for dinners. Not that i've had many! But I would let someone buy me a drink then reciprocate on next round etc.

wishy

I don’t think I have ever paid for a meal or drink, I always offer but then they refuse and pay themselves. Had a lovely Indian meal with one man, I felt really bad that he wouldn’t let me pay, it was his birthday so felt a bit odd.

wishy go for the free lunch . My date yesterday looked like a serial killer in his profile pic. In RL he was actually quite disappointing - quite normal looking.

Margo I completely agree with you about sticky-out tummys. My ex-H has one. Such a turn-off. Whereas my ex from last year had a 6 pack!

Love relax and enjoy the moment with Mr CV. If you get anxious about it then you could end up pushing him away. Don't try and think too far ahead. You haven't known each other for very long.

I take it all back about Tinder Gold. £30 for a month's entertainment.
The 30 somethings are very chatty. I have 4 messaging me at the moment.
And one has asked me for a date. He's 34. I'm 50 but he doesn't know that. Do I say yes?