Dating Thread 136 - Can Anybody Find Me Somebody to Love?

[ValMc1]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Sorry Val I know it's a bit too early in the morning for you

It wouldn't be a bad rule to live by Margo

I'm not sure it's particularly related to age Minnie so much as mindset. Psychologically, I can understand why testing could be effective but on the other hand, if you are decent human being why would you need to play games/test at all, and would you really want to attract the type of person who is susceptible to them?

I've been at work for nearly 3 hours now Kin - we can't all lounge around you know!

kin it must be mindset I think. I hate games and wouldn't play them so if I have things to say and it takes two messages an hour apart, it takes two messages an hour apart! I am trying to stay away from my phone and social media more as I think I am on there a lot!

Love yes just stay calm and I am sure you will hear from him before tomorrow evening and if you don't then you know what type of person he is.

Just been catching up on here
@kin I think I love you this morning. You speak such sense, wish my irons were as open and honest....

mwah @hatty, with tongues.

Love hope all goes well with Mr CV - are you feeling better?

This thread moves so fast! So many things I want to comment on but now can't remember who has said what!

Kin love your earlier post, so much sense.

I can't be doing with playing games! If I like someone I text them, if I don't I don't, I don't care if I'm the first to text. However, I know when to stop and say nah, you're not giving me enough to carry on with this.

Most of my Irons respond reasonably quickly to messages I just wish they'd flipping be brave enough for a date so we can actually meet up. I think it's that thing that via text etc you can fantasise about the person and then when you meet up your fantasies can be dashed to smitherines but hey you never know do you unless you actually do meet up! And, I have to admit, it's really nice waking in the morning to a line of messages saying 'good morning'!! How sad does that make me!!

Love Hoping tomorrows date with Mr Campervan goes ok

Tom yes ditch Mr Teacher, all this 'open relationship' malarky, never quite understood it personally and could open up a big can of wormy worms.

Mr OhMy is still messaging which is amazing me, we're talking about meeting up soon, he may be a heck of lot younger than me but I really don't care! I told my gay uncle who lives abroad about him and he says go for it!! I love my uncle!!!!

I don't imagine there will be many messages on OLD this evening! !!

Yes Kin and Margo Do unto others as you would have them do to you should be a rule!

Wishy hooray for a date with someone not called Mart!!

Bendy I've upped my lower age range on Tinder from 30 to 34, decided that's my limit, but then you're a few years younger than me so just under 30 is allowed - especially if you're having intellectual chat!!

I've binned Mr Teacher and feeling very relieved.

dutch I love your approach. I do sometimes find myself waiting for them to make the first move, which is silly. So I've texted Mr Academic today, sent him some photos. Call me old fashioned, but I do like them to do the chasing when it comes to arranging dates though.

love try not to over analyse. I am sure things are fine and good luck for tomorrow's date!

Can I ask which sites you all use? Or is it mainly POF and tinder?
Is there any value in paying for a 'premium' site?

YABU

I use/have used OKC, Tinder, Badoo, POF and Bumble and would rate them in the order I typed.

From a male perspective, I see no reason to upgrade, though some on this thread have had got some value from Tinder Gold showing them potential matches they may never have otherwise made.

YABU I paid for 6 months on Match. Had quite a few dates in the first month or so. I'd pay again but only for a month. After a while it was the same faces.
I have Tinder gold for a month. I was sceptical at first but loving it now. You can see who's liked you already. Most are not suitable but I lowered my age range and I'm having some good chats with blokes I would've considered too young.

@YesYABU

I've had most success on my local radio site (which falls under the Venntro umbrella), you have to pay but if you sign up and then don't pay then send offers and free days/weeks the whole time.

However, I'm also on Tinder (like Kin says above I've paid extra for Tinder Gold ) and Bumble and have had quite a few dates from those two.

Avoid eHarmony!! Personally that was a total waste of money!!

Thanks kin out of boredom I signed up to guardian soulmates to see if there's anyone remotely nearby....

There are just 10 men aged between 25 and 38 within 30 miles of me. One has blue fluffy hair, one is a photo taken in a mirror with him holding the phone and one has the strapline "I run because I eat cake"
What is wrong with some men

I might give OKC a go instead. I know exactly what I'm looking for, but not sure there's many smart, slightly nerdy, tall, dark and handsome men aged close to 30 out there who aren't looking for hook ups and don't mind the fact I have a DD.

I also really struggle to describe myself, beyond the obvious I like reading, walking etc but then who doesn't read, exercise or eat nice food? I have a nice photo or two at least.

I also really struggle to describe myself

On OKC I'm fairly certain no-one will ever know that you viewed their profile so you can have a good mooch around to gain some inspiration from what others are doing.

Alternatively, I'm sure there are people on the thread you could ask for assistance.

So I did the deed, played hide the sausage, MB (or whatever else it’s known as) last night after about 6 dates. Can’t say it was mind-blowing but a bit of intimacy was very welcome - but since then have heard nothing. No ‘hope you got home ok’ or ‘morning!’ text. Is this what it’s still like?? Thought it was the teen boys that buggered off after a quick shag....
Am not one to wait for a text, quite happy to initiate usually but in this instance I am damn well not going to.

That's the third time I've heard of that happening this week hatty so it seems to be the new norm. The other two women have now heard from the guys concerned so all was not lost but, even so, my personal preference is to have a conversation after casual sex!

YABU Don't stress too much about your profile, make it short and sweet. I've put something like 'Happy, smiling, love to travel and enjoy life. Don't do grumpy people or anyone holding a dead fish' !!

Hatty Good about MB not so good about not hearing anything, what is wrong with these people, like you say I thought that was just something teenage boys did.

halfdutch dead fish

I'll have a browse of OKC, primarily to see if there's anyone remotely nearby to me, and maybe to steal ideas. I know what I like and don't like, but I guess it's conveying this in a vaguely appealing way. I don't really drink or go out to the pub etc, but if someone wanted to do the Times crossword with me over coffee that would be nice

Yabu I add something vaguely amusing such as "skills include being able to parallel park".

There's a lot to be said for a short and simple profile. Mine currently says,

Equal opportunities shagger, who said three's a crowd?

They're queuing up I tell ya!

Val, I’m feeling much better thanks but has taken quite a while (camping at the weekend was hard work with poor toilet facilities and needing to pee a lot), spent Monday drinking loads of water and now much better.

I’m not going to message Mr Campervan for the rest of today, see if he messages me as the past 2 days I have been the one ssending the first text. I hope tomorrow goes ahead as I have had to arrange child care.

I bet they are kin

Mine says "MILF. Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough!"

Thought I'd go with a football related theme...

Do you think it'll work?