Dating Thread 136 - Can Anybody Find Me Somebody to Love?

[ValMc1]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

I agree with the do unto others rule. Good idea!

Whatever you do don't do eharmony whoever was asking! Really useless.

I can't stand game playing but I am a straight forward, honest person and there are so many people out there who aren't. If I see the word straight forward in someone's profile, it immediately makes me more likely to have a closer look!

I have a potential date for the Monday (bloke3) I am back but he did make a comment yesterday as I went out to a bar with ds to watch the football and he said something along the lines of 'surely you haven't been drinking since midday'. I hadn't but tbh even if I had, who is he to say whether I should/shouldn't - I can't stand controlling men. V hard to read context on messaging and he may well have been joking but we will see....

Bloke2, the funny one after a shag, is still in contact sporadically but he is away when I get back so if we are still in contact after then and we are still having fun, then I'll see if we do a date.

Ps apols for lack of paragraphs. On phone and it won't let me do them!

What the heck does MILF mean Bendy?

Best I can come up with is moistness instigates less friction... am I on the right path?

Hatty I'd be very unimpressed if there was no 'hope you got home ok' message after DTD - in fact I'd be changing his contact name to Tosser 7 (I think that's what I'm up to now)

Why do so many men list countries they have been to on their profile?

I've been to lots of countries. It's not the most interesting thing about me.

Or list very band they like, every film they've seen...

Maybe they should just send me a spreadsheet and I'll cross reference that with mine and we can see if we have anything in common. Oh, no need for that level of scrutiny...We've both been to France and have watched Fight Club so we must be made for each other...

I should just celebrate that these men fill something in at all really! Most are virtually blank, and they never read mine.

If I add "love a good rant" as one of my interests, do you think it'll put men off??

It stands for Maybe I like Frankfurters kin I have a penchant for German Bürgers.

True story, I was asked last night what I was having for dinner. I replied with "sausage".

Sometimes I laugh at my own jokes. Don't judge me.

bendy and kin they're funny, but I don't think we're after the same outcomes

I thought we were all after the same outcome YABU, a happy ending?

yesYABU happy to critique your profile if you PM me the text of it. And sex it up a bit for you, or brainify it if you prefer

I wont tell any lies- so I am a guy and saw this thread regarding online dating. Please give me a chance to speak as I know this is really a site for girls- I am new to the OLD scene myself.

I really would like some feedback from you ladies in what you would expect to see in a first time message from a guy. Now while I do understand there seems to be a lot of the wrong type of males which inhabit these places such as those (which I am lead to believe) Send pictures of parts of themselves which they shouldn’t, and are already in a relationship, I do however feel at a loss as to what you should send as an icebreaker?
Its seems conversations starting with ‘Hi’ are out and yes starting with ‘You look gorgeous where have you been all my life’ is a little full on- but In my opinion sending a truthful compliment is not always out of bounds is it? I have to say if someone posts a picture worthy of a compliment why should you not do that?

I have to be honest I am into horses and mountaineering. So when I see a picture of someone with a horse I might start a conversation on those grounds as I feel we have similar interests which is what you generally look for in a partner. Now while climbing may be a little more an oddity to most as an interest it makes me wonder whether you should omit these things rather than advertise them?

More often than not the reply may be ‘No not into horses it’s my sisters’ which does not help us guys does it? I personally prefer profile pictures of things I have done with significance to life and career rather than pubs and bars- Right or Wrong?

I am not into telling anything but the truth but the trouble with online dating you are sometimes not given the opportunity to express yourself and you are written off before you get a chance….

As a 44 year old ex Army Officer, 5'8, Slim Build, No dependant children, working class roots who likes Horse riding and climbing tell me what you would like to hear…...
I might post this as a separate topic to see if it gets a greater response!!

I'm sure you'll get lots of feedback on here Alpinestart.

For me the key is for the man contacting me to have found something about me that they find interesting. So, I've expressed the pursuit of several hobbies and a light opening comment about one of those will always go down well, as it shows you've read my profile and there is some common ground.

FWIW, I get quite a lot of compliments about my appearance and that never really works for me as an opening gambit, as I tend to think that they just want to have sex with me or be seen with me, rather than get to know me as a person. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being complimented by someone whose compliments I value, but not up front just on my appearance.

That should be "I've expressed interest in the pursuit of several hobbies......"

Margo, yes I do agree with you there, sometimes a compliment about good looks and appearance may come across initially as 'oh hey he's straight in' but I am a firm believer that if it's the truth then in the right context it should follow at some point as being made to feel good is an important part of any relationship.

Alpine I am drawn to people who are pationate about things and have interesting hobbies, so the fact you like horses and climbing (2 totally different things) would probably make me interested. I do like horses and there is a photo of one on my profile (though not mine). Of course there will obviously be people who won’t be drawn to your interests, the same with everyone, we all like different things.
I like to get messages which show the person has read my profile, maybe mention sharing some interests. If someone messages me with ‘hi’ or ‘hi sexy’ I will not reply.

Alpine you are not alone here - there are a few men so you'll get replies from both I'm sure. I like the messages that show that they've read my profile and looked at all my photos - my favourite opener was one who said 'you weren't going to let him get away were you?' I wasn't sure what he meant until I remembered I put a photo up of me linking arms with a statue - made me laugh so it was a good start.

Valmc1,

Yes wit always goes along way

I'm off all OLD sites for now - hidden my profiles - after the call from my ex on Friday, I visited an old friend on Saturday who I've known for many years ( in fact he was the best man at my second wedding but he and I were mates long before I met my husband). We DTD - it was very odd as we'd shared a bed on a skiing holiday years ago and zilch. Should have remained friends as it's now complicated things. My ex is doing all the right things so really not sure what to do - don't need OLD to confuse things further - do a break is much needed!

Val I have done some stupid things in my singledom. I see it all as learning and growing even the things I really feel went against my best judgement. Don't beat yourself up about it, just be honest to yourself and keep the chin up.....or the crown slips ;)

Its interesting to read all these "I like this, I don't like this" and shows that indeed we are all different. The ones who have dogy profiles are probably having some doubts about themselves too. We are all human after all.

I had a really interesting chat with FWB last night. I asked him if he had a girlfriend, he said no. I asked him if he was seeing anyone else, he said sometimes (we both are). He said he doesn't want to be moulded into the girlfriend/ boyfriend thing (I wasn't suggesting anything for the two of us was just in general). I said I also wasn;t either, at this moment but things may change. He has very interesting views on lifetime monogomy. I am lucky to have him in my life, its uncomplicated, fun and very very good sex. So for now, he ticks a lot of boxes for me.

I guess you just have to find what fits for you at what time and always be true to yourself.

Right, isn't there football on??

Would anyone mind reviewing my profile pictures to see if they are right-swipeable?

God, I sound needy, don't I?

Val I have a close male friend who I have DTD with, we are still close friends but occasionally it gets brought up but we make a bit of a joke out of it.

I’m not on any OLD sites now either. If things don’t work out with mr Campervan I will be taking a break, summer holidays make things tricky anyway. Mr Campervan has messaged me checking I’m still ok for tomorrow, feeling relieved and excited.

Dan I'd be happy to if you want but it's more about the profile! Pm me link

Love thought he would - he sounds lovely - enjoy !

pudding - there most certainly is - England expects and all that - not a footie fan but I'm really looking to the game tonight - it's coming (hopefully) home - love that song lol

Awesome news Love - keep calm and have a good evening tomorrow :)

Hugs to Val and a stern word about revisiting the past - remember both the good and the bad before making a decision.

Thanks Val, I understand what you're saying, but on an app where you only have a small space for a profile, doesn't it come down to the photos?