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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Someone sent my husband naked pictures.

170 replies

Notsureibelieveyou · 02/07/2018 14:29

I found naked pictures on my husbands email.
He says they are from a woman he had a fling with 2 years before we got together. And suddenly she has decided to send him pictures. He says he never asked for them and didn’t reply. Then he said he might have replied but can’t remember.

Does this sound likely? I can’t imagine thinking oh I haven’t seen so and so in ages I think I’ll send him a picture of my vagina see how it goes. 🤷‍♀️
Should I believe him? What should I do? He won’t tell me who it is he says he can’t remember her name.

OP posts:
ObiJuanKenobi · 02/07/2018 15:21

Fuck that he sounds like an arsehole! Before you were together? Then why the photos now..

IsaidMrDarcynotArsey · 02/07/2018 15:22

What’s the date on the emails ?

MrsPepperpot79 · 02/07/2018 15:26

it's a faceless shot, with a no-name email, but he knows he had a fling with her and it was specifically 2 years before you?!! Are her bits are truly that memorable or distinctive?!

Nope. Lying.

mamansnet · 02/07/2018 15:27

You need to check his outgoing mail folder ASAP, before he can delete anything!

HeGotManFlu · 02/07/2018 15:30

Can the email be replied to. Hope you're ok.

Trinity66 · 02/07/2018 15:34

I would just dump for the way he's treating you since seeing the email, nevermind the fact that he's likely cheating as well

Waspnest · 02/07/2018 15:35

Actually IsaidMrDarcy that's a fair point - I have 2-3 year old emails that I have kept as new and never got round to filing/deleting (but I am crap at that - drives DH mad because he says it slows loading stuff down Blush). OP if your DH is keeping intimate photos of someone from years ago and using it as porn you have a different problem. Either way for me not being willing to discuss anything would be a huge red flag.

The older I get the more baffled I am by the libido of many men.

chickedychicked · 02/07/2018 15:36

my first ever LTB.
If he's lying this much and this badly then there's definitely something going on.
Tell him to tell you the truth or you're off.

Ryder63 · 02/07/2018 15:37

If there's no face, this is just as likely to be from someone he doesn't know. It's part of what's called "sugar babying". He's paid money to access some catfish Insta account, and now he's paying for pics of random body parts. They're probably not even her body parts, they're screenshots from the Amateur section on PornHub grin

I think this^ from Arum51 could well be the explanation. Try emailing back (use a new email account) asking for pics.

Thebluedog · 02/07/2018 15:37

Does the email predate you? If so then I’d simply forget it...

If it was sent after you got together then I call - bullshit!

He can’t remember her name OR if he replied - pft yeah ok, that is simply pure bollocks

Trinity66 · 02/07/2018 15:38

This part of the OP suggests that the emails were sent more recently to me :

He says they are from a woman he had a fling with 2 years before we got together. And suddenly she has decided to send him pictures

TooTrueToBeGood · 02/07/2018 15:39

He's so full of shit I'm suprised he hasn't exploded and caused a poonami. If some women sent me unsolicited xxx pics and my wife found them I would move heaven and earth to reassure her. He's been caught out and because there is no rational explanation he's giving you a non-rational one and trying to shut you down.

Waspnest · 02/07/2018 15:44

That's why I think the OP needs to know the date the email was sent.

He's going to say what he thinks paints him in the best light i.e. it was sent recently, nothing to do with him etc. rather than a) he loved the pictures so much that he's kept them for a couple of years to look at occasionally b) they're from someone he's currently having an affair with.

Original poster
Notsureibelieveyou · 02/07/2018 15:47

I’m logged out of the emails now! I want to know who she is I won’t let this drop.
If he found something like this on my emails and I was innocent I would be doing all I could to help him feel better and to reassure him.
Now he’s not sure it was that fling just she’s the one that used to send him pictures so guessed it was miss fucking no name.
He says it could be anyone random and he’s deleted it now so not to worry. I’m so angry.
He’s angry that I don’t trust him.

OP posts:
Chippyway · 02/07/2018 15:48

He is talking utter bullshit

NO WOMAN would get in contact after all these years and randomally send naked photos of herself. It just wouldn’t happen.

What he’s done is bad enough, the fact he’s quite obviously lying and withholding any info about her would infuriate me more than I could imagine

Search her email address into Facebook
Kick the twat out

AnyFucker · 02/07/2018 15:50

He thinks you are stupid

Summerthunder · 02/07/2018 15:52

I agree with arum51. The vag pic sounds more like what arum says than an ex

IwankaTramp · 02/07/2018 15:52

Don’t waste anymore of your time on this horrible man. Walk away.

Monday55 · 02/07/2018 15:56

He's taking you for a mug OP. if it's a women whom he's had a fling with then he sure as hell should know her name.

Original poster
Notsureibelieveyou · 02/07/2018 15:58

It’s strange that Iv never received anything like this on my emails. He says he gets random pictures from time to time he usually deletes them. Iv never had any remotely similar. Not even in my junk emails.
Iv got the email address it comes up from when I googled it.
I’m going to email her. What should I put? How do I word it so she responds?

OP posts:
cdtaylornats · 02/07/2018 15:58

highly unlikely that someone who randomly send naked pictures out of the blue

And yet there are threads here about women receiving random dick pics.

Are you seriously making the sexist claim no woman perverts exist?

Sharkwithknees · 02/07/2018 16:04

I'd create a new email that is like your OH's name and pretend to be him. This is how I caught my exH out when he was receiving dodgy texts. Good luck!

IwankaTramp · 02/07/2018 16:06

Well if I was going to engage and be devious I would email as if from him giving a new email address for her to message you on saying the one she has has been compromised. Ask if her account has been too....and await response...

DearMrDilkington · 02/07/2018 16:06

Sharkwithknees that's a really good idea, do that op.

IknowIWBUbut · 02/07/2018 16:07

Even if he is being honest he clearly doesn't give a damn about reassuring you. How fucking unkind, unloving and disrespectful.

Personally I feel his anger is because he is lying. Much easier to make this about you having an issue.

I don't think you'll get any truth from him. Just more bullshit. And because of that I think it's best you leave (or pack a bag for him to leave). Say you know everything. You don't want to talk about it and the relationship is over.