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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should i pursue this man?

285 replies

Auldspinster · 02/07/2018 12:43

I had the major fanny gallops for a colleague who has recently left.

I never acted on it largely because we were colleagues but obviously that doesn’t apply now.

Would it be a terrible idea to private message him on facebook and say, ‘look, I fancied the pants off you when we worked together, now we don’t, do you want to do something about it? If not, delete this message and pretend it never happened.’?
We’re both in our 40s, not sure of his marital status – he didn’t have a wedding ring but wore a non weddingy ring on his right hand and never mentioned a significant other. I felt very strong chemistry when he was around but am well aware it could have been totally one sided. I figure I’ll likely never see him again I thought in for a penny, in for a pound.

Am I being startlingly naïve or should I go for it?

OP posts:
Cricrichan · 03/07/2018 10:12

Fab!

SparklyMagpie · 03/07/2018 10:21

You've got fuck all to use so I'd go for it

SparklyMagpie · 03/07/2018 10:21

*lose haha

Auldspinster · 03/07/2018 10:22

If he was the shy retiring sort I wouldn't even contemplate contacting him. I can quite imagine him liking some uncomplicated fun, it's whether or not he'd like it with me that's the question.

OP posts:
Auldspinster · 03/07/2018 10:25

He smelled amazing too. I nearly said that to him once but thought better of it.

OP posts:
nowshesaturtle · 03/07/2018 10:56

I'm way over invested in this thread.

I told a really attractive man he smelled amazing once. He was quite pleased but he told everyone and I never lived it down, especially as I was about twice his age.

Hope you go for it and it works out. Personally I'd tone the message down a bit though. It sounds a bit terrifying to me (fully realise I'm not the target market though Grin )

Auldspinster · 03/07/2018 11:05

I might drop the bit about loving sex and allude to it instead.

He'll probably be a bit surprised as i come across as quite shy and retiring to those that don't know me well.

OP posts:
Emma198 · 03/07/2018 11:29

I tell men at work they smell amazing all the time am I being inappropriate without realising Grin

Auldspinster · 03/07/2018 11:34

No, I used to say it to male colleagues in my last job but I knew them for ages and didn't want to jump their bones!

OP posts:
Auldspinster · 03/07/2018 11:50

He resembles a sweary tv chef but I fancy him in spite of this not because of it.

OP posts:
Coughy · 03/07/2018 11:55

Haha gordon ramsay with highlights 😉

Coughy · 03/07/2018 11:55

Op why are you so hard on yourself saying yuk about yourself? Have you had bad experiences with men being nasty to you? Really hope he is up for it.

Auldspinster · 03/07/2018 12:20

Not really. But I am at least 5 stone overweight so I could forgive him for not being attracted.

I'm happy being naked with a man - I've got a great pair of bosoms and good legs. Not at all self conscious or inhibited. I figure if things have got that far the bloke knows what he's getting pretty much.

OP posts:
Emma198 · 03/07/2018 13:04

I think self assurance is sexier than anything else about a woman personally.

HalfDutchGirl · 03/07/2018 13:17

major fanny gallops and stampeding towards him like a horny rhino hysterical!!

Awaiting the next instalment with bated breath! You go girl Auldspinster - good luck!

SoaponaRoap - couldn't agree more, coffee dicking about is boring!

Auldspinster · 03/07/2018 13:19

Emma198 that's what i'm hoping he'll respond to. As well as the great tits (which i have caught him looking at in meetings but i've not set too much store by).

OP posts:
WouldRatherHaveWine · 03/07/2018 13:23

Auld i think you are actually my hero Grin wish i had your attitude!

Auldspinster · 03/07/2018 13:27

It's taken me long enough to get there, long periods of frustrated celibacy. Last year i thought 'fuck it' and signed up with a website for nsa fun and after gaining a block list the length of War & Peace I met a couple of great guys, one of which is now in a more serious relationship and the other my fwb guy. I'd been on more conventional sites in the past and it was a massive ballache.

I'm not getting any younger and have given up on sitting around waiting for things to happen. Worst case scenario he'll be appalled and block me.

OP posts:
WouldRatherHaveWine · 03/07/2018 13:30

I admire your strength in knowing what you want, getting it and being comfortable in your skin. Im rooting for you and hope you get some filthy fun!

Auldspinster · 03/07/2018 13:43

Thanks WouldRatherHaveWine !

OP posts:
Kittykat93 · 03/07/2018 13:58

If I was ever single again I'd love to have this attitude. I was always too shy but really regret it!! Fingers crossed he responds positively !!!! GrinGrin

Auldspinster · 03/07/2018 14:05

Maybe i should just instruct him to listen to the first verse of House of Cards by Radiohead.

OP posts:
Orlandointhewilderness · 03/07/2018 14:24

Ohhh please go all horny rhino!! You sound fab OP. Watching with interest! I am also the same - about 5 stone overweight but have got to the 'fuck it, I'm FABULOUS' stage and love a damn good shag and am completely confident. Go and have done fun!

1043voyager · 03/07/2018 14:38

Nothing to add just
lols @ "major fanny gallops".

GinUnicorn · 03/07/2018 15:04

I am rooting for that horny rhino! Can’t wait to hear the outcome

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