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Original poster

My Dad has split from his fiance - Pre-Nuptial disagreement.

146 replies

firehousedog · 02/07/2018 08:49

So last night i got a phone call fromm my Dad. He has split up with his fiance. My Dad is 68 and she is 65 and they met on internet dating three years ago. Basically Dad insisted she sign a pre-nuptial agreement as in the house will be left to myself and my brother should anything happen to him one day, whilst she would have had been left with his Villa in Spain and his pension. She has four elder children, but was living in a womans refuge when Dad met her, my Dad cleared her personal debts, took her on numerous holidays abroad, cruises, etc. She literally has no assets or anything to her name. She apparently kicked off big time and said she would make sure things were done properly in the event of anything happening to my Dad and she refused to sign. My Dad is gutted. He really doesn't want to be alone in this stage of life. Do you think we should tell Dad to put off the pre-nup and let it go or has he dodged a bullet with this one?

OP posts:
AbbieLexie · 02/07/2018 08:52

Dodged a bullet

endofthelinefinally · 02/07/2018 08:53

Definitely dodged a bullet.

MaybeDoctor · 02/07/2018 08:54

Let her go on her way!
She sounds horribly greedy.

SoupDragon · 02/07/2018 08:54

Dodged a bullet.

wagil · 02/07/2018 08:55

Dodged a bullet.

endofthelinefinally · 02/07/2018 08:55

Anyway. All he needed to do was write a new will after the marriage. But it is good that he has rumbled her at this stage.

NoSuchThingAsAlpha · 02/07/2018 08:55

If she won't agree, he shouldn't marry her.

Singlenotsingle · 02/07/2018 08:56

I'm sure he won't be alone! He's had a narrow escape, but at least he found out before the wedding, not after!

Ragwort · 02/07/2018 08:56

To be brutally blunt there are lots of dating/introduction agencies where your Dad could find a much more agreeable partner, it sounds as though his fiancee was deliberately targeting a wealthy man.

Original poster
firehousedog · 02/07/2018 08:58

mmm yeah thats pretty much how i feel. I just feel so sorry for my Dad that he is alone again. I'm really dissappointed in her. I mean i think she was getting a good deal out of it and if she really loved Dad she would have agreed to to anything. The mortgage was paid off way before she came on the scene, she doesn't work, so Dad also pays for the upkeep of the house and looks after her too. I really don't think she appreciates how good she has it really.

OP posts:
Skydiving · 02/07/2018 08:58

Dodged a bullet. Sorry she doesn’t love your dad. She loves the lifestyle he has given her.
Your dad was kind enough to ensure that In the event of your death there was provision so she would not be financially vulnerable.
But this isn’t good enough for her. She is greedy.

ElinorOliphantIsCompletelyFine · 02/07/2018 08:58

It sounds like she was only with him for the money. He's dodged a bullet!

Skydiving · 02/07/2018 08:58

*of his death

Original poster
firehousedog · 02/07/2018 08:59

endoftheline surely after he got married she would have been entitled to 50% of the estate though and the will would have been powerless to stop it, no?

OP posts:
user1471462428 · 02/07/2018 08:59

Tell her to get to fuck with that shit. My dads in the same position but having to work to fund her lifestyle. He’s exhausted and ill and I feel like I can’t say anything Sad

AStatelyPleasureDome · 02/07/2018 09:00

Your Dad sounds lovely and I am sure he can do much better than this gold digger.

scantilylace · 02/07/2018 09:00

Good job your dad had the sense to go for a pre-nup! The fact that she's willing to split up over him wanting to make sure some of his assets help to look after his kids proves that no matter what she says, she'll never look after you guys. And she mustn't love him much at all if a villa and a pension aren't enough to keep her with him!

It's always a difficult one to deal with when you're the other beneficiary. But try and make sure he knows that she's already proven that you won't see a penny of his money if he leaves it to her. And if he could marry someone knowing that she intends to screw over his kids, that would really change how I felt about my dad.

HeddaGarbled · 02/07/2018 09:02

I do sort of agree with everyone above, but just a thought. Could it be the thought of being evicted from her home after his death that’s upsetting her. If he left the house to her but the holiday villa and money to you lot, would that make a difference to her?

Ragwort · 02/07/2018 09:03

Surely it's better to be alone and comfortably off than with someone who is clearly only interested in his bank balance along with the lovely holidays and cruises Hmm - tell him to go on a cruise on his own, lots of pleasant ladies cruise alone ..... he will soon meet someone. Or perhaps try not to equate personal happiness with needing someone else so much?

Original poster
firehousedog · 02/07/2018 09:05

TBH i was surprised when they got engaged. My parents split well over ten years ago now. He has had four our five relationships since so i just figured that he wouldn't marry again. My brother reckons dad told him a while ago that she believes in marriage cementing a relationship and thats why he was led down the engagement route in the first place.

Well she is leaving this week apparently. No idea where she will go. Probably to one of the her daughter's. I just can't help think what a silly woman.

OP posts:
AStatelyPleasureDome · 02/07/2018 09:06

fire, not necessarily. Marriage invalidates earlier wills so, if he did not make a new one after marriage, she could claim on the estate as his widow. If she married and then divorced him, she could ask for 50%, but it's all in the court's discretion. If he made a new will following marriage, she would have a loss of dependency claim on the estate if he failed to make adequate financial provision for her.

Your Dad would be better staying single tbh, and just living with someone if he wants to (still the risk of a dependency claim though).

In his shoes, I think I would be looking to make substantial gifts to my children during my lifetime, which also potentially saves on Inheritance Tax, if he survives for 7 years after the gift.

AStatelyPleasureDome · 02/07/2018 09:06

Pe-nups are not binding by the way, although they are influential with the courts.

Original poster
firehousedog · 02/07/2018 09:10

Hedda The house is worth about £350k+. When my parents split up, mum went off with another man, mum said he could have the house but that the house was to be left in the family as they both paid in to the mortage over the course of the marraige. My dad is just honoring that verbal agreement really. You'd think with the proceeds from the villa she would be able to buy somewhere small to live and live off the pension comfortably.

OP posts:
CanaBanana · 02/07/2018 09:13

She apparently kicked off big time and said she would make sure things were done properly in the event of anything happening to my Dad
Her idea of things being done "properly" is probably "the wife gets everything". I.e. you and your siblings get nothing. Your dad has dodged a bullet - she was clearly planning to ensure that she got everything and you were disinherited.

ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 02/07/2018 09:16

AStatelyPleasureDome is right, many potential complications regardless of a pre-nup. Even if any challenges to the will were unsuccessful would your dad really want you going through all that when you're grieving? Definitely dodged a bullet there.