Dating Thread 135 - Will Harry Ever Meet Sally?

[Kinunir]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

I'd put it and then free those potential dates up for someone who isn't racist

Ha ha ha. How do you work out I'm racist?

Why do spew something like that out when you don't me?

Hi, dipping into the new thread. I've been absent for a bit, as I was disillusioned with the whole thing.
Ironically, given the last post, I've been finding it hard finding anyone remotely left leaning, or interested in politics or activism 😂 well, I did find 2, but they both lived 300 miles away (curse your location settings Tinder)

Dilemma today is that I have a date at 6pm. I thought it was for a usual pre first date coffee. He seems to think it's the whole evening! I'm meeting him at 6 as I'm in the city anyway having a cinema day to myself. I'm also a bit sick of schlepping to the city to meet people, it's getting a bit wearing.

Do I text him and say I can only stay for coffee?
I'm tempted to reschedule for another day, but make it clear it's for coffee only. Thoughts?

... Oh, and A4710rider surely the easiest thing is to just put 'traditional British values' or the like on your profile. I'm what you'd hate to date, and that would put me right off 😁

Stick to your guns Sky and make it clear you are 'too busy' for anything more than a coffee right now

I'm what you'd hate to date, and that would put me right off

Ha ha. Could you imagine...

You: Jeremy Corbyn is such a breath of fresh air
Me: Check please!

It's just a social observation and a bit jokey but from my point of view it seems to be that the left leaning women are the most single group.

:)

Please don't hurt me.

Just checking in a bit late too. The passions subject was interesting as that is extremely important to me as well. I have a few passions/hobbies that are a massive part of my life and I'm never going to be long-term compatible with someone who doesn't at least share an interest in most of them. The main ones are adventure travel - almost 90 countries and counting, the outdoors, dogs, hiking, rock climbing and skiing. The rock climbing and skiing don't matter so much but I'm never going to get along with a person who doesn't like or want to live with dogs, who prefers to sit around the house/play computer games rather than be outside, or whose idea of travel is 2 weeks of lying on a sunlounger and drinking on the Costa del Sol.

The problem I have isn't meeting blokes who share my interests though, there are plenty of them. The issue is that quite often I appear to be bad for their ego and they 'feel intimidated/inadequate' when they realise that I've travelled more than they have and/or am a better climber. I never make it into a competition but some of them are obviously used to being the impressive man and wowing women with their tales of derring-do so they can't seem to cope with me having done it and often more as well. This has happened to me quite a few times now at various stages between messaging and actually going on dates.

You : Boris Johnson is a harmless eccentric.

Me: check please. Quickly.

No need for anyone to hurt anyone dude. As a leftie, it would help enormously if people WOULD put their leanings on their profile, as it works both ways.

@VetOnCall I find similar. They compare qualifications, income and how I cope with being a single parent. Last guy discouraged my Masters, was jealous my benefits and maintenance equaled his full time job and hated that he only had his kids 50/50 and wasn't coping. I'd love to be earning but not feasible until the autumn and it's bloody hard work being a single parent 100% of the time with no help whatsoever. I can hold my own and don't NEED a man. A lot of them don't like that. They want to be needed.

literary i proper lol’d. also, can you explain the big toe incident? what did i miss?

A4710 white privelege is real

it's bloody hard work being a single parent 100% of the time with no help whatsoever.

+1 to that!

May I ask what is your Masters in Literary?

I haven't a full masters yet as single parenthood out paid to that. I'll get there at some point as have 2 post grad courses that just need topping up to the full masters. I'm a nurse with 2 post grad diplomas in specialist areas that were completed at masters level.

@esk1mo he sent me a photo of his shorts clad legs and he had a disgusting big toe nail. All black and needs removing. He was "comfy in his pjs with a beer" and sent a photo to prove it. Think he was hoping I'd do the same.

Esk1

It's myth. :)

Class Privilege, however, is very real

Vet I am similar apart from the travel (would love to travel but kids have stopped me doing this), I avoid gamer types and I prefer people that like to be outdoors doing things, I walk a lot all year round and rarely sit in front of the tv. My pets are important to me so I couldn’t date someone who doesn’t like animals. Most men I have met have a passion for something.

I’m still getting quite a few messages though it has slowed down a bit, never had it so busy on POF.

I’m meeting up with a singles VW group tomorrow at a show but will have my kids with me, will be interesting to meet people not through a dating site.

Well done you Literary, you'll have a massive sense of achievement when you get it and, if any of the courses cover toenail removal, you know who to contact on here .

Yeah, yourself. Read the posts properly Kin!!!!!!!!

Literary gross sounds like he did expect a similar, pyjama picture in return which would progress to other, less clothed pictures.

I am finding the whole OLD thing really really awful just now. If Im not being sent dick pics, its people who seem normal then it rapidly descends into filth. UURRRGH just cant be arsed.

And yuk to the toenail thing. Just NO

I know what bendy means, if i didnt want more kids id be after the same thing - it isnt quite a 'relationship' as society knows it but it is more than just turning up with your dick out.

Jax do you think your profile needs some fine tuning? I got crap like that when I first started out but with some guidance on one of these threads predecessors, I re-wrote my profile and I've seen a reduction in that kind of stuff of about 90%. Have you said anywhere that you are fun, or enjoy a good time, or you're looking to have fun or anything like that? Those seem to be code words that all the dick pick weirdos home in on!!!!

@MargoLovebutter if men's profiles say they are looking for fun, someone who wants to have fun/a good time etc then I quickly dismiss them as I interpret that as just wants sex with NSA.

I think it's possible to get too hung up on what we write on our profiles but the right person won't be put off by us stating our preferences however strict they might appear to others. Always be true to yourself and don't try to be someone you're not.

Jax I used to get loads of stuff like that (dick photos, sex chat) when I first started OLD, I still get a bit but I think now I can spot the idiots a mile off so I avoid feeding them. I haven’t had a dick pic for ages.

I have now given myself a little notebook to keep track of irons. At the moment I am talking to 6, 2 of which are old irons (probably won’t go back there although one makes a good FWB), 3 of them I haven’t met and need to try and meet next week, I think I’m meeting Mr campervan on Tuesday for a paddleboard lesson. I think I will stay off POF a bit and then maybe I will stop getting messages, I can’t keep up.

naynayba exactly!! I feel like a purely booty call would be demeaning for both of us. But I don't want a traditional relationship where we are a huge part of each other's lives. I haven't got the time, headspace or inclination for that. Probably hugely influenced by having looked after a cocklodging manchild for 20 years.

kinunir I THINK I know what I'm looking for. Maybe I don't and I will find this out when I find what I'm NOT looking for, if that makes sense.

I've had 1 date so far. Was going to meet to DTD tonight but he got cold feet. Now have another date with #superhotyoungguy tonight and he's already had a wobbly because I won't let him come to my house. It was off and then on again and he won't stop going on about coming to mine. It's getting annoying. But I'm horny and will get a kick out of meeting him so I'm going to. In a pub because I stood my ground and gave him an ultimatum.

I suspect that going for #superhotyoungguys is where I am going wrong...

I contacted the ghosting one to say nice chatting and wished him luck in finding someone. And advised him not to send anyone else photos of his grim feet then blocked