Dating Thread 135 - Will Harry Ever Meet Sally?

[Kinunir]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Sorry been away - deliveroo! Haaa!

Definitely ghosted by youngshy, he's been active but not even opened the message - so weird and rude??? Guessing he's just TOO shy...oh well!

Nothing back from mr LOL no big loss there...

Got matched with a younger guy again...he looks very nice, ticks all the boxes, and says in profile he def wants to settle down and have kids. Im headbutting his upper age limit but hey, im fertile at least and he might like a haggard wizened old bird

My subscription runs out soon and i wont renew - OLD is a bit of a timewasting energy drain for me. Im focussing on the real world, have joined a society with twice weekly meets which should get me out and mingling!

I'm passionate about books and writing (knew there was summat about you kin ;) )

hatty someone i know had that phrase on their tinder, i was sure he never came up with that!

i havent got much to report. been chatting to the guy i ghosted in march but tbh im remembering why, hes really quite needy. hes travelling round asia just now but still double/triple messages if i dont reply. plus i just dont fancy him. awkward as he has moved to same street as me. im going to have to start leaving my house via back garden.

still no progress on Mr Real Life. our mutual friend told him i liked him & he said he liked me, but still hasnt spoke to me. i get the impression he only approaches girls on nights out/when drunk due to confidence issues. i really fancy him though.

im not actively looking for someone anymore though. ive been in 2 long relationships (2005-2009 then 2012-2017) and im still only in my 20s, ive focussed on finding “the one” instead of getting a good job after uni. ive neglected myself and put all the importance on relationships which i hugely regret, especially since my last ex cheated multiple times and had secret drug problems.

sorry for the huge blurb. i still enjoy this thread and all your stories, so im going to stay anyway.

well I am back on pof but dear LORD! It is slim pickings. I actually cannot be bothered now.

MrGolf messaged me and said he thinks we are on different pages. I absolutely get that, he is 'sorted' divorced etc and I am still going through the shit. So totally appreciate his honesty.

Ive been chatting with a few guys but nobody that I instantly really liked. Im going out with friends on Saturday afternoon/evening so looking forward to that. Who know, might even meet some RL people!

I think I am going to work on myself a bit, Im doing great but could be better.

Oh and MrNorway has sent me a few messages. Ive reiterated my 'be gone' message to him.

Hello you lovely lot. I would like to join you if I can.

I have started OLD about 2 weeks ago. 2 years out of a long relationship and I'm not looking for anyone to share my life, finances, home or DC with.
I want social, intellectual and physical contact. Probably not really emotional tbh. I want to go out and have fun. With different men.
Loads are messaging me and obviously just want sex. I am conflicted because i want this too, but also some conversation and social outings. How do i put off the sleazebags but also find men who want sex and friendship but don't want commitment?

I've been chatting to a few but not sure where things are going.i had 2 dates lined up for tomorrow but both have bailed. I feel very naive.

@BendyLikeBeckham I'm sure you'll have your pick of men as most guys seem to want what you do if this forum is anything to go by.

It's a weird thing being ghosted! Must definitely be due to my lack of excitement at his manly toe He did say ok and sleep well with a kiss when I told him I was going to sleep so he didn't come across as annoyed I'd not reciprocated. Weirdo.

Literary you mean not all women have a foot fetish? I'm sooooo disappointed

Actually I think Bendy has a challenge from what I've seen on here - I get the impression that, yes, a lot of men like NSA sex (as do a lot of women to be fair) but also that a similar number are extremely needy and desperate for a relationship. Finding someone in the middle of those extremes may be a challenge.

Well I had a message from Mr Too good to be true I'll call him. He's the one I'm meeting next week...I think. He's quite local to me and seems so normal it's a bit scary. I keep thinking there's got to be something wrong!! With others though we just chat...do you ladies actually suggest a meet up? Even if they don't? I'm a bit scared I'm being not proactive enough..

Not a fan of feet, no, but the manky toenail was vile. 58 messages he sent on Wednesday then nothing! I'm more amused than anything but a little annoyed too at having my time wasted. He's still matched with me on the site. And signed in so shows as active.

No results from my experiment. A few have looked at my profile. I specify no gamers so maybe that's a reason. It's not something I'll compromise on though due to past experiences.

My subscription ends on the 23rd so that will be the end of that. Still going to loiter on here though for education purposes!

Bendy, sounds like you are looking for FWB types? I’m sure you will find plenty, you could always look on some of the hook up type sites, they are not as scary as they look and I have met a couple people on there, people seem to be more honest about what they want on there and they seem friendlier. I have 2 FWB from one site, both are begging me to meet up with them next week. All works well as long as one of you doesn’t cross over the line and starts getting feelings, it’s best to chose someone who you know you would never be in a relationship with (someone you don’t have much in common with).

cave personally I don't tend to suggest the first meet up. I like the other person to make the effort first. But if we've already met I would then suggest meeting again.

literary being ghosted is awful, isn't it? Especially if it seems to come out of nowhere. I was talking to a Male about this and he said basically many men are cowards and so just back off instead of saying anything.

bendy there is so much good advice on these threads it's worth reading some of the older ones. I'd say just keep chatting to people. I tend to know quite quickly if it's someone I want to keep talking to and potentially meet. I always chat on the app and only go to WhatsApp if I feel we really get on and plan to meet. Definitely go with your gut feel about someone and if in doubt post on here for advice. I've had so much help on here, it's invaluable.

I've unmatched him now.

Weird and wonderful world of OLD!

Well I've got an exciting day today - I'm off to see an older woman who is guaranteed to hit me where it hurts...

... but I love my accountant really!

I think I’m going to have to change my profile photo, I keep getting comments saying ‘I do like a red head’, I’m not a red head, I have light brown hair but in the light of my photo it does look slightly orange. I don’t want to disappoint potential dates by turning up without red hair 😆

Super hot man messaging me, wondering if he’s too good to be true, totally out of my league, younger than me, hippy type (dreads). Blue eyes. I think I might be dreaming, someone wake me up....
I shall call him Mr Hippie, if I get a date with him I’m going to be so bloody nervous 😬

Thanks to those who posted their passions. Really interesting.

Finding it slow on POF and Match at the moment. So basically nothing to report, which is a bit dull - sorry!

Come on Love, you KNOW the only leagues are the ones you create inside your head - enjoy!

I know Kin I need to start setting my standards higher and stop going for the ugly guys.

Margo I have a passion for photography (other people’s as well as my own) and a passion for life . I can get passionate about many things, I’m one of those that turns a hobby into an obsession.

If I remember correctly I saw your POF profile a while back Love (wavy brown hair, right?) and you should definitely, definitely NOT be thinking your are remotely close to any league that has ugly guys in it!!!!!!

thanks for the advice. I'm finding it hard to find intelligent men who are also attractive and want a good conversation and an evening out, not just wham bam thank you ma'am. I've got a few prospects but they keep falling off the rail when it comes to actually meeting when I make it clear i want to be stimulated by their mind as well as their body! It's so annoying when you've spent a week or two texting and phoning and investing your time in them.

Ah, Bendy you have identified all that is wrong with OLD in that one post. This is why it is easy to end up becoming cynical, because effort in for limited output tends to happen a fair bit. I take regular breaks from OLD, for that very reason!

Love - remember the rules!!!! You are a prize.

Hmmm, from what you said there Bendy it sounds like a man you'd want a relationship with rather than a FWB scenario in which stimulating your body would be the only consideration? Are you clear on what you really want?

Agree with Margo - not getting dates, meeting women who aren't compatible, etc. is what it is but the massive time investment for no return (however you measure it) is the frustrating part.

Could I get some advice from the good people of this thread please.

Should I put on my OLD dating profile that I'm not interested in anyone Far Left, Only believe there are 2 genders and don't believe that White Privilege is real?

Only, I met someone very nice and by the time we got around to thinking about dating exclusively I realised that at heart she's a SJW and I couldn't be with a person like that.

Or will that be detrimental to any potential prospects?

What's an SJW?

Social Justice Warrior.

Nice. I'd put it and then free those potential dates up for someone who isn't racist.