I am aged 34. She is aged 21.

[Biweeklyshave]

As the title suggests..... is this too big a gap. We clicked, I didn't realise she was so young until it came up in conversation. My male friends have been calling me a creep and although done in jest I feel there is a slight undertone with them.

Back ground I am separated with 2 young boys (7 & 9). Relationship with them and their mum is positive. Obviously at this stage I wouldn't think of introducing her to my boys or their mum but I'm thinking of my friends have an issue with gap then it's likely others will too.

I was 21 and DH 32 when we first started seeing each other. 11 years on, we're married with an 8 month old DS.

It completely depends on the pair of you. I kind of felt I had gone through my mad, exploratory stage by the time I reached 21. DH didn't have children, mind you, so I can't say how that might have affected things.

I wouldn’t be thrilled if it were my dd, you’re a middle aged dad and she’s got the whole world to explore.

But hey, she’ll learn.

Caribbeanyesplease My point is...

She’s closer to his son’s age than his own.

Creepy.

But it’s such a crude childish interpretation

You honestly think a 9 year old and 21 year old relationship is a relevant comparison with a 21 year old and a 34 year old.

One involves a young child
The other involves two adults

Meh, it’s a questionable thing to ask the internet about anyway. My honest opinion is that it is creepy. I may feel differently if he didn’t come with and ex and two half grown children.

I think he's not so much asking as telling, ie, telling us all that he managed to bag himself a young chickee.

IcedPurple I would say was looking for validation. Whoops.

I agree it's all about life stages, not age per se. There are 10 years between me and DH but as we're in our 40s and 50s with similar life experience we are extremely compatible. With two young children in the mix I think it would be selfish of you to develop this relationship further.

I think he's not so much asking as telling, ie, telling us all that he managed to bag himself a young chickee

Well, yes. I was thinking along those lines. Which makes the OP sound exactly like the kind of person that shouldn't be in an age-gap relationship with a 21 year old.

22. You were 22. Nothing predatory in the slightest. I think this poster can decide for herself if she was immature at 22 and groomed by an older man. Let's not deny women the right to their own experiences.

As long as you're both happy, the age gap doesn't matter, never mind what anyone else says, I think i'd be looking for new mates tbh!

I think he's not so much asking as telling, ie, telling us all that he managed to bag himself a young chickee Same. Wonder what he'd consider too young. Would 19 be OK? 17?

Yeah, I'm always a tad suspicous of threads where the OP barely gets involved in the discussion. Makes you wonder why they bothered to post in the first place?

Well said Schnitzel

Referring to Schnitzel's* comment at 19.17

God, I don't know. I think this isn't something you can generalise about, all people are different. Perhaps the two of you can date and see how it goes.

As long as you're both happy, the age gap doesn't matter

Doesn't it?

Several of us have asked the OP if he'd be happy to date a 47 year old woman, ie, the same age gap, just with the women older.

We're still waiting for a response.

*As long as you're both happy, the age gap doesn't matter

Doesn't it?

Several of us have asked the OP if he'd be happy to date a 47 year old woman, ie, the same age gap, just with the women older. *

And again I ask, would 16 be OK?

SchnitzelVonKrumm

At 22, adult. No ifs or buts about it.

But of course individuals have different levels of maturity. That’s not the debate though. There will be 22 year old women far more mature than others. Likewise, there will be 38 women far more mature than others

But of course individuals have different levels of maturity.

But what's "maturity"? What does it actually mean, in practical terms? How is tht younger partners (invariably women) in age gap relationships are always described as 'mature'?

A woman this age will only have been a legal adult for 4 years. She may not have finished her education. She's likely to have never had a full-time job, an LTR or lived away from home, or if she has, will have done so for only a short time. So how 'mature' can such a person be? Can it compare with the 'maturity' of a 13 years older man, who has been in at least one LTR and is a parent to two children?

I can't see how they could have compatible outlooks on life with such a large gap in age and life experience. Might be OK for a while, but I'd bet good money she'll dump him in fairly short order.

I would say so. Maybe in a few years when she's a bit older it won't matter as much but 21 is young. I am 30 and can't imagine seeing a 21 year old in a sexual way or having anything in common with them.

And again I ask, would 16 be OK?

Well, I guess it would depend on how mature she is...

It would be her maturity that attracted him. Definitely.

15 years between DH and I. Never had any issues and very much in love.

17 years between my neighbour and her DH.

Yes, because the type of man who seeks out women a decade or more his junior is all about the maturity.