How do you feel about lap dance club/pole dancing stuff.........?

[niceglasses]

My dh works in a bit of a boyish industry - mobile phones - tends to be bit 'scummy'.

I'd say ohhhh 5 or 6 times now on a night out they have ended up at these lap dance/topless places. At least he doens't lie about it! He says they just want the extra drink. He doesn't get home till about 4/5 in the morning.

I have gently let it be known I don't like it - he says its harmless.

What do you wise lot think? I don't feel like I can 'ban' him but I do feel a bit put out.

As much as the next man DOES ! Gah

madamez - I have no problem with individual's choices. What I'm talking about is the kind of society that unthinkingly continues to objectify women/girls.
In an ideal world these places wouldn't exist imo. Of course this isn't an ideal world but there is an issue about respect for women.
If a man really respects women would he treat them as a sexual object?
In my experience the men who are the biggest users of porn and lap dancing clubs tend to be the ones with the least sophisticated attitude to the equality of women.
We have a lot of eating disorders, paedophilia, sexual abuse, domestic abuse, teenage pregnancy in this country - actually it is shameful how we lead the European stats in some of these fields. I think it's partly because women are seen by too many men to be sexual objects rather than human beings.
I mean who are the men feeding the enormous demand for young Eastern European prostitutes in the UK? Are these just nice guys having a laugh?

this is getting a bit heavy now......
laters.

And working as a receptionist/secretary isn't demeaning or crap?

If I hadn't been married at the time, I'd have been a stripper in a heartbeat w/o a second thought.

Principles don't pay the bills.

I've been once on a stag night, found it titillating on a, um, functional level (I'd take with a pinch of salt any partner who claims complete lack of arousal if I were you) but it also made me feel seedy and exploited - may as well just get the bouncer to tip you up so all the money on your person is removed. I know my DW is uncomfortable with the idea of them, and I'm happy not to go again on that basis. I'd be very unhappy if I had a daughter who became a lapdancer, so I'd be a hypocrite too.

They're a lot to do with money and the innate stupidity of men, and very little to do with fun.

but expat and nailpolish, isn't that because you were working at waitresses - of course the men wouldn't be looking at you when there were naked dancing ladies to be seen - I don't think the fact that you got no hassle as waitresses means that being a lapdancer is a nice and pleasant job

Work smarter, not harder. It doesn't last forever, and if looks are your best asset, more power to ya for using them to your best financial advantage!

Being a receptionist/secretary is such a nice, pleasant job.

It pays so well, too.

Bolleaux.

I knew all the strippers, and for them, it was all about the money they were making.

And hey, it's not illegal. They were happy, the punters were happy. Good for them.

my dh is very shy and goes bright red and gets all sweaty whenhe has to speak to a female shop asisstant, so i dont think he does find it arousing tbh.

he found it uncomfortable and un-nerving.

if he saw them on the telly im sure he would enjoy it, or if i did it in the privacy of our own home.

I think it's sad that it's seen as 'heavy' to state the obvious about misogyny in the UK. Don't people think about any of these things and look at the possible causes? Even people with daughters?!
It may be post-modern to shrug off women as sexual objects but who would want their daughter to do it? Honestly who would support their daughter in table dancing rather than expat's 'demeaning' clerical work? I'm amazed! It makes me think the suffragettes shouldn't have bothered!
(runs and hides...)

agree with most of what you say ipanemagirl although not the connection between paedophilia and sexism - there's nothing wrong with being sexually aroused by looking at women, in fact it is completely natural and positive - what is wrong is the treatment and exploitation of women as sexual objects to be used for the titillation (or worse) of men

i'd have no problem with my daughter doing it, as long as she was doing it of her own free will and was happy. and i do consider myself a feminist

if the girls who do it didnt like it, i dont seriously think they would get all their kit off and gyrate around all night in platform heels.
they could surely find something else they hated to do?

Because it's about choice, ipanema. And some people chose to exercise that choice to do work they find enjoyable and happens to pay them well - even if it's in the sex trade.

Why are you so outraged about that?

Sad to say, I was on a bus today, saw this gal with two little kids, and dang, if I were married to that, I'd look at porn, too.

have admitted this here before so might as well sling my opinion in here too....

i used to work as a lap dancer

i worked in 4 differnat clubs for the same company, 3 were fine and i was in control and well protected by the bouncers, made good money and enjoyed it. one was one step up from a brothel and i hated it. worked one night and refused to go back

i have said before on MN and will say it again here, IME the lads who go in as a group just go in for a laugh, get a bit drunk, rarely have dances and if they do it's just the one during which they get very uncomfortable and are not at all turned on. it's harmeless

there is the other type of punter too who comes in 4-7 nights week, has lots of dances and is basically a creepy little perv but IMe they are rarely married men, usually single older guys (50's or 60's)

i didn't feel expoloited myself and the club i worked for protected its girls fearsomly but there are clubs that do exploit foreign girls, less so now that they're quite well policed and regulated.

personally knowing the industry i wouldn't worry a jot about dp going to one, but then i'm happy for us to watch porn alone or together and i'm one of those sleazy wives that would probably go along, lol. but most importantly because i trust dp, which it sounds like you do too NG

I am stunned by that!

oooh, harsh expat. Way too harsh.

i think mentioning peadophilia (however you spell it) is a tad 'heavy' as it has sweet fa to do with farking poledancers ffs!

It's an opinion, Pan.

Hey, it's not illegal, and if someone wants to work doing that, BFD.

that's just horrible expat

I mean the thing about the girl with kids, if I was reading your point properly.

Yes, I knew I'd get slagged off for that.

But you know, I don't care anymore.

I'm so sick of how goofy this board has become lately.

So some women want to work as lap dancers?

Why is my post worse than some of the comments on here calling them whores, slappers, etc.?

omg pinkt!

i agree with pinktuplips

ask any of the girls if they are exploited and they will laugh