Husband and prostitute

[MrsGaslighted]

I've been with my perfect husband 25 years. Really wish I'd seen mumsnet 8 months ago, before I saw the text on his phone arranging an appointment with a hooker, and had not shown my hand. I confronted him straight away and was told he was never going to go through with it. I now know about 'the script'
I have done a hell of a lot of digging since but he has outright denied everything. I have so much circumstantial evidence but can't prove a bloody thing and I think I am going mad!!

Can't believe he tried the sex addiction card, what an utter spineless shit.

You're doing amazingly 💐

He cheated. Simple as that. You get to choose whether you are prepared to tolerate that happening and continue to be with him or not. Personally, I could not accept that level of deceit and could never trust again so he would have to go.

I’m not surprised you’re angry btw as that email would have enraged me. Did he apologise at all? Any mention of the word “sorry” or “regret”? If he actually said that he “can’t believe” he’s done that to you... that’s really weird wording, it’s as if it’s something that happened TO him as opposed to something HE DID. As for saying he needs your help... cheeky fucking bastard

Last week, because my exH is going through something terrible, he actually apologised properly to me for the first time since discovery day. I think it hit home, finally, the devastation he caused and that I’m no longer there to support him.

I've only just found this thread and just wanted to be a supportive ear. I've name changed but you may have come across my thread. A hooker wasn't involved but my ex left me in a very cruel way for another women.

Just wanted to let you know that now 4 years on - I'm really happy and it does get easier.

On a different note - he has basically owned up to having sex with an unknown number of women. Please get yourself tested.

Massive hugs to you !

Yes, I agree, it does get easier and I’m much happier too

OP I think you are very strong and courageous

Do not tolerate this scum

So sorry you have been put through this

Op so sorry this has happened

Oh love, my so very sorry.

What a fool he is.

Stay strong

You are one brave and strong mama bear and a fantastic role model for your children although you won't be feeling this currently.

He is a bastard. So sorry you are hurting so much. The pain does go away and you will laugh again it just takes time

It seems like the end of the world now. - but you will get through this, and you will be fine in the end. You've just got to endure the now, for a bit.

Just keep up your strong front TO him, he doesn't need to know you're falling apart behind the scenes at times. And you ARE doing great, this is the hardest thing to do and you're doing it! What an absolute tosspot I'm so sorry OP 💐

Wow OP I'm in awe! Keep on keeping on.

OP you really are amazing. Your email was perfect. You are going to get through this. One day at a time.

What a bastard. I'm sorry.

I'm so angry for you OP. This man not only lied about prostitutes, he allowed you to think you were going mad and was happy with you going to the doctor and possibly being medicated unnecessarily.

That really is the lowest of the low.

It may not feel like it right now but you really will be okay

Get it out in the open ASAP - otherwise YOU are carrying the shame and stress that belongs to HIM.

Have a short factual one liner to say or text to family and friends - there is nothing to discuss or debate. If they want more details they can ask him. Truth is important- otherwise people will question you and conclude that you are irrational or unreasonable if you are vague or minimise.

Jeez op what a horrible thing to discover. Your email to him was amazing, stay strong!
Just a thought - he's so relieved you found out because he "has a sex addiction and alcohol problem" . My arse he does. He wasn't so relieved when you only had an inkling and not actual proof. As a pp said, he was perfectly happy when you found the text to tell you that you were going crazy and you needed to see the doctor. It wasn't relief he felt that his "addictions" were out in the open then . It was relief he could continue to keep having sex with God knows who behind your back.

What a dirty lying cheating scum bag

I read your thread when you started it but then lost it and just spott d it again now. What a bastard. But you know that. I’m sure you feel like you have been kicked in the stomach.

And as others have said sex addict my arse. He lied to your face. More than once. He made it that you were paranoid.

I bet he nearly passed out when he saw you last night. Probably saw his life flash past his eyes.

Glad you told your friend and have someone to support you. And everyone here obviously but a rl friend can do what we can’t. Hugs.

How are you doing OP?

So sorry OP. But your number one priority is getting tested for STI's.

Oh MrsG, this was an update I hoped I would never read, I am so so sorry. I cannot believe he has done this. What a twat.

How are you doing this morning?

I hope the shock of seeing you as he came out of her house was painful for him.

I'm so sorry OP do not fall for his bullshit. What an absolute disgrace of a husband/human being!

You are doing the right thing and you will totally get through this.

Hi everyone. I've not had time to read your comments properly. Will do later when I'm sat down with a well deserved glass of wine. Just wanted to update you. I have been to see my mum and my dad. I told them what had happened and they were both amazing. Made me realise that you never stop being their world even when you are mid 40's. My dad has offered to clear his clothes out for me and drop them to his parents house. My mum said to cut them up! I haven't told the kids yet, mainly because they both have stuff on with their friends. I will tell them when they are home tomorrow. I don't want to tell them what happened but I guess I will have to say he has been unfaithful. At least my daughters exams are over so he won't fuck those up for her.
I checked the find my iPhone before I set off for home to make sure he wasn't there. He is at a hotel about half an hour away. Not heard from him all day which I'm really pleased about. I am 100% sure that I won't have him back. I've watched him come out of a prostitutes house after doing god knows what. There is no chance I will forgive him. For that or putting me through hell thinking I was going mad.
I have to go to the shops now and then my friend is coming here for the night, but will read all of your comments later. X

I’m so so glad you caught him.
It must be absolutely horrendous for you now but you are better off without him. Your life will be far better once you get over this shock.

I’m so happy to hear you have the full support of your family. Take it one day at a time x

I just wanted to wish you all the very best x