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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband and prostitute

539 replies

MrsGaslighted · 03/06/2018 02:06

I've been with my perfect husband 25 years. Really wish I'd seen mumsnet 8 months ago, before I saw the text on his phone arranging an appointment with a hooker, and had not shown my hand. I confronted him straight away and was told he was never going to go through with it. I now know about 'the script'
I have done a hell of a lot of digging since but he has outright denied everything. I have so much circumstantial evidence but can't prove a bloody thing and I think I am going mad!!

OP posts:
stevesmithsmum · 29/06/2018 22:49

Well, at least you’ve got certainty. I’m sorry for your pain OP.

MissSmiley · 29/06/2018 22:50

I can't believe you caught him
What's your plan?
I'm so sorry this is happening to you

Original poster
MrsGaslighted · 29/06/2018 22:50

You're right. I wanted to know.
God this hurts.

OP posts:
stevesmithsmum · 29/06/2018 22:52

It was very brave to actually confront him. You could have left it at just knowing where the tracker was. I can totally understand you being effectively speechless. I’m curious if he even attempted to deny what he did though.

Original poster
MrsGaslighted · 29/06/2018 22:53

I had my plan figured out. That he could fuck off.
And I will stick to it. But all I can think about now is 25 fucking years, how much I love him and our kids
Why did he do this.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsGaslighted · 29/06/2018 22:56

I've just blocked him on everything. I can't talk to him.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsGaslighted · 29/06/2018 22:58

I know I'm doing all the talking on my own thread but it helps.
I have just caught my husband with a prostitute. Fucking hell!!!!!

OP posts:
stevesmithsmum · 29/06/2018 23:02

I didn’t want to just leave you hanging OP....talking to yourself. But I’ve gotta go to the gym. I hope someone else comes on and chats to you.

All the best.

TakeMeToKernow · 29/06/2018 23:02

Shock I’m so sorry. If it helps you, keep posting Flowers

Original poster
MrsGaslighted · 29/06/2018 23:05

Thanks for commenting, means a lot.
I can't stop shaking.

OP posts:
Desmondo2016 · 29/06/2018 23:06

Omg I'm so so sorry OP. I've just reread your whole thread and i think you've been amazingly controlled. Do you want to tell us about tonight?

chemicalworld · 29/06/2018 23:07

I cant say much but I'm so sorry.

Freetogo · 29/06/2018 23:07

Stay strong OP. Keep your bloody chin up, you knew you were right & he had lied and lied.

You do not have to speak to him until you are ready.

Wait for the "you kept accusing me of it, so I thought I may as well do it" line.

When he has probably been messaging them for 12 months or more. Check the bank accounts. Unless he has opened another one?

Mary1935 · 29/06/2018 23:09

Even though you knew what he was up to - the reality is still a big shock. You’ve sadly have found out what a scumbag he is.
I’m so sorry. You will be in shock. Have some tea or a stiff drink.
Will you lock him out tonight or tell him to go somewhere else.🌺🌺

looondonn · 29/06/2018 23:09

What a scumbag

You are well rid

Disgusting

notapizzaeater · 29/06/2018 23:12

Knowing and 'knowing' are two different things, have you rl support xx

Original poster
MrsGaslighted · 29/06/2018 23:14

I've been slowly convincing myself it was all in my head. Every night I've checked the tracker for a second and felt more reassured as he was always where he said he was. Checked it tonight and my heart nearly stopped when he was on the edge of town, nowhere near where he should be. I looked at find my iPhone on the satellite view and it pinned him down to the actual house. I drove there and sat outside.
Out he came and I swear he almost passed away on the spot when he saw me looking at him.
There's no way out. I don't want to hear it though. He swore on our kids lives ffs.
If it wasn't for them I swear I would end it. I hate him. I hate what he's done. And I hate what my life is from this minute on.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsGaslighted · 29/06/2018 23:18

I'm at my friend's house tonight.
She is offering me some string sleeping pills so I think I may take them.
I can't believe this has happened.

OP posts:
Freetogo · 29/06/2018 23:19

And I hate what my life is from this minute on

From now on it will be true & you will find calm & happiness in yourself.

It will take time Flowers

AlwaysSleepy1 · 29/06/2018 23:20

You must be going through hell- you don't deserve this he's a selfish prick!! Do you have everything in place now, can you kick him out straight away??

thinking of you xx

Desmondo2016 · 29/06/2018 23:20

Did you speak to him when he came out?

ByeMF · 29/06/2018 23:23

Oh god that's awful. I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. What an utter lowlife.

Original poster
MrsGaslighted · 29/06/2018 23:24

I think I called him a cunt. Then drove off
My daughter is at home so I just drove to my friends. I've blocked him for tonight as I can't be doing with the excuses.
I will have to get him out. I hope he has the decency to go tomorrow.

OP posts:
Mywonderfulstar · 29/06/2018 23:27

I went through this 18 months ago. It’s heartbreaking but you will get over it OP x

Original poster
MrsGaslighted · 29/06/2018 23:29

Mywonderfulstar - with prostitutes? I just don't get it.
It's not like he fell for someone.

OP posts:
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