Dating Thread 134 - 50 Swipes of Tinder

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Hello people can I join you all

OLD can be like looking for a needle in a haystack but I always end up going back to it haha..

I’ve been lurking here for so long but finally got brave enough to post.
Been OLD since January, feel like I’ve come a long way since then. Had some ok dates but not wanted more, had a FWB but I got a bit over invested so pulled away from him. Had a short relationship, thought it was going well then suddenly ghosted for no apparent reason. Keep seeing him on Tinder so clearly it was just me.....

Currently - have had 4 dates with Mr Geek and I am quite keen; but his interest seems to be dying. Am posting here in an attempt to not message him!!
What’s App is so hard as you can see they have read your message but not replied. I am determined to be strong and only date someone who really appreciates me - but my god it’s hard sometimes......
Am trying to keep more irons going so I do not dwell on Mr Geek but Tinder and Bumble are both pretty dead for me at the mo..
Have 2 potentials who are keener than me but maybe worth a date just to boost my confidence a bit?

To the poster who was chatting to Mr silver fox - is that your name for him or his online name: if the latter, I’ve been chatting to him too 😂😂

Is there a way to tell if someone on Tinder is online hatty? - would be useful if there is!

Kin I think I read somewhere that you used to be able to but they removed that feature - I messaged Mr not 60 asking how old he is and he replied immediately asking me to guess - this could be fun!

Are you going to say 80 to find out whether he has a sense of humour, or go with 50 and flatter him?

I've decided I'm going to do an evening class in September. Don't know what in yet. Try to widen my social circle.

Unless I meet my perfect man in the meantime...

I went with 38-42 turns out he's 26 WTF?

Ok he's asked for a date - I've told him to get out there and find someone nearer his own age lol - why do some men want an older woman - experience I assume - but I don't get it!

Go you! Time to make sure your fitness levels are up

Hi to all the newcomers!

THIS is what I've learnt from posters here and my own experience:

I've learnt that if they seem to be losing interest as haven't been messaging as much then your intuition/instincts/gut is usually right.

If they aren't replying to messages with in a timeframe that's acceptable to YOU but you can see they are online then they aren't making the effort and aren't worth your time.

Similarly if they are online and aren't chatting to you or are quiet for a day or more, especially if you've already had a date, then they aren't making an effort to keep you interested and get to know you so they aren't worth your time.

If you've been chatting for more than a week and there's no hint of a date then they are wasting your time or too shy to ask. Ask them to meet and take it from there.

If everything is message based with no move to progress to phone call then I personally can't be doing with that. Chatting on the phone separates the wheat from the chaff in my experience.

Most of all I've learnt to listen to my gut. My gut has anyways been right but I've stupidly chosen to ignore it.

I've previously been too generous with my time, my affections and my money and now won't invest more than the other person is investing in things.

I'm harsh, strict, whatever you want to call it but I won't tolerate any twats or bullshit anymore. I know my worth and am holding out for someone who is worthy of my time, love and affection.

26? But looks 40ish?

Sorry, that was injected a bit randomly there

As you were!

Dogz I'm crap at guessing ages !

Somebody give me a slap - 12 hours on POF since I signed back up on Friday and I've found one whole person to message. Why do I keep bothering???

Val haha! I'd feel weird about going on a date with someone young enough to be my son.

Literary that sounds like very wise advice, thank you

I struggle with even getting replies from anyone that catches my eye.

I'm meant to have a date tomorrow night but I'm getting nervous about it already. I'm wondering if I'm actually ready to date, as all I'm wondering is what does he see in me? Not helped by needing to have a babysitter and drive a good half an hour to meet him, I normally try and have first dates local to me.

Who was it who said something about dates essentially being an interview for the most important job which is that of your partner in life? I liked that. Obviously I'd never grill someone like in an interview but maybe instead of being nervous we should focus on whether or not they pass muster rather than them liking us. Obviously they need to like us too but just a different way of looking at a date. I'm on hardcore painkillers so just ignore me of rambling!

oh yeah i def see a date as them auditioning lol

i dropped youngshy a last message asking if we were still on for saturday and to text me if so, so I should know one way or the other fairly swiftly if he's vanished on me.

Also hesitantly dropped a message to a guy i quite liked the look of at the beginning of starting OLD but i dunno, i kinda get twatvibes from him, maybe out for a good time rather than anything serious BUT tbh I wouldnt mind that as a temporary thing right now if we could set up a lol FWB thang thatd be fine for a while if youngshy's def gone.

WHY are men so bad at selfies and so confident with putting their godawful pics up? Also, why does every profile i seem to read stress how laid back/easygoing they are? Dont know why but i feel like if they say that theyre probably actually not lol

Not boasting (because most are a total waste of time) but I have had 25 men message me in the last 24 hours, kind of disappointed that out of all those probably 2 might be worth going on a date with

also did anyone hear womans hour about OLD today? a woman in her 70s who was widowed and found a wonderful man and spent 2.5 blissful years with him before he too sadly died, but she didnt regret a thing? And a 50ish lady i think who was getting loads of offers from younger men and was having a whale of a time? hope thats me in 20yrs after rearing my second family ha

pink I'm sure you're ace and that's why they want to go on a date with you.

Naynay The selfies are awful aren't they? It is really not that difficult to get a well framed and lit photo of yourself with a phone these days. Do you also get the ones standing in front of a long mirror, same pose and different outfits?

love at least you have 2!

Natnayba - laughing at “twatvibes”! I’m using that.

Literary - great advice - Mr Plummyaccent has been seen on WA and the dating site (yes I’ve secretly checked) but ignored my messages. I’ve removed all traces of him from my phone and I’m moving on...

Literary really good advice there and I agree with all the points made.

Kin no idea why I thought it but assumed men would find it easier - less weird women out there lol