Dating Thread 134 - 50 Swipes of Tinder

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Love confuses me. The last real relationship I was in things moved very fast, he said he loved me pretty early on and I kind of said it back, I’m not sure if I really loved him but I’m guessing from how hurt I was when things went wrong that I did.

I’m not sure if I can love anyone, not true love. For me love would be meeting someone and not ever imagining being with anyone else, but for someone to make me feel like that they would have to be bloody special because they would need to be 99% perfect 🤣

Great question val - i like margo's answer: better with than without

I'm quite happy on my own and have a good social life but I do miss cuddling up with someone who I can moan to (and they to me) and a kiss makes everything better - that's what love means to me.

Also I miss waking up looking rotten and they still want me lol

Yes the physical contact - casual rather than contrived

Not casual - just comfortable

Hmmm I've got a chat going with a guy who's 48. Figured he'd have older kids but they are 5 and 3! I know my LO is 3 too but I parent him alone; I don't have to take anyone else's parenting views into account or share him. There's no drama with him because of that. I'll find out more but it sounds like it would be complicated and he lives too far away for complicated.

casual as in, you dont have to go on dating sites and arrange it first, its just there ;)

Literary I don’t want to date anyone with young children, I have noticed a lot of older men seem to have young children, thought if I went for ment in their mid to late 40’s they would have grown up children but it doesn’t seem to be the case. I have dated men with young children before and I find it hard work and complicated. I have my own parenting style and I find it hard when other children are introduced into my household that live by different rules. I have written in my profile that I would prefer to date someone with older children or no children, for this reason I don’t get many that are interested but I’m not bothered, I would rather stay single than date someone with young children. My dc’s are in their teens and have autism so chucking young children into the equation is a no no for me.

I'm still at the liking my bed to myself stage where no one snores, no one's hogs the bed or the covers and there's no pubes in my en suite. I can't say I'm even missing the affection. I usually do. A lot. But this time round I'm just not fussed. Maybe I've finally settled into being single. I used to replace men very quickly without taking time to reflect but I did a lot of reflection after my last relationship and don't feel any sense of need for a man. Sure, I'd quite like a relationship. But I'm just not that fussed at the moment. Good that makes sense!

Hope not good 
@Lovemusic33 ** that's perfectly understandable. My last relationship was with s guy with two kids who were 6 and 8 and so badly behaved. I had a couple of threads on here about the situation as I found them awful and my daughters did too. Like you said, it's having two sets of rules that's difficult. I've known families where everything blends really well but there was no chance of any blending there. My kids are rather, erm, spirited shall we saybut those two were very challenging and I ended up making excuses not to spend time with them. They were sweet kids but total brats due to the situation with their patents and total lack of consistent boundaries and discipline. Part of me thinks I should go for someone without kids but I doubt there's that many out there.

just dropping by to say that the guy i previously ghosted (he accepted my apology) it turns out he has just moved house....to the same street that i live on!!!

its a small, dead end street of flats & apartments in the capital. how mad is that?!

That's freaky as that!

....thats insane!

I have DD but wont consider a man with kids - i want to start a new family and i remember the hell of 'blending' from my own childhood. I'll stay as i am if thats the choice!

Speaking of insane, MrHills which is what I'll call my latest match, has said that I don't sound insane as there's lots of insane people on the site. This came about as some reference to me being single since February as apparently he thinks that's a long time. He's been single for 18 months and had 2 failed relationships since then

Lit more like MrRunfortheHills!

I asked how long he'd been on his own and he asked the same of me. I didn't mention the relationship with my son's dad just my marriage and the recent relationship as I'm a bit private about the one inbetween. Not sure due to lack of paragraphs if he meant the time since my marriage was a long time or the time since my last relationship and if he was surprised I'd been single between those two. But his comment was that I didn't seem insane. I asked him to clarify but he just said there was a lot of insane people on the site but I seemed normal very odd. And two "abortive attempts at relationships" since being single. Red flags there.

He certainly has a way with words

I'm just going to keep asking questions and have some fun

Jeez lit he sounds awful!! Still enjoy the "conversation", it will keep us all amused on here!

Literary I am the same with enjoying having my bed to myself, hated having Mr Tinder staying over, he was a snorer and teeth grinder, it wasn’t romantic at all, I just wanted to hold a pillow over his face. I love my own space. I do miss the kissing and cuddling and of course the sex (but it has to be great sex for me to not want to stay single). Mr runforthehills sounds charming (not).

So I signed up to Badoo last night, what is that all about? Is it the same as tinder? This morning I got a random message saying ‘you need to fuck me you slut’ .

Anyway, had a few messages on POF but no one that looks that interesting. Found a old iron who I had forgotten about ‘Mr Fitfoodie’, I kind of ghoasted him before as I was taking to several others at the time and then was dating someone, I have sent him a message to ask how he is. I now remember why i hate POF, random messages from old obese men holding pints and cigarettes whilst posing in front of a public toilet mirror or in a hotel room. It’s hard to find anyone that looks relatively normal on there.

OLD described to a tee in two sentences?

Literary: "...said that I don't sound insane as there's lots of insane people on the site"

Love: "It’s hard to find anyone that looks relatively normal on there."

Love your description of male profiles made me laugh. I had so many like that write to me, I kept checking my profile to see if I had accidentally added in "looking for 15yr older, obese, smoking alcoholic, doesn't need job, own teeth or clean bed".

Funnily enough they were also in the category of "wants to date nothing serious" and the messages were sleezy. Surely it never works for them?

Apparently he had a date where she asked him to help pay her mortgage on a first date!!

That's not uncommon Literary though first date is a bit quicker than I've experienced. I now make a point of saying on may profile that any potential date must be solvent!