Dating Thread 134 - 50 Swipes of Tinder

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Ok so it's kind of tough as I've only had one date with both but I will try and elaborate.

MrShy: tall, dark, handsome (Actually yes) bit older than me only by a couple of years. Funny, bit shy but I found it incredibly endearing but he soon relaxed after about an hour. Well travelled, genuine & laid back. No red flags at all. Has 2 kids, lot of common ground there (I have 1).

MrEyes: physical attraction was there before I even met in person 🙈 - just a bit taller than me, dark & handsome. Has had a very interesting life, bit younger than me but you wouldn't actually know - has an older head on him. Great conversation, laughed a lot, funny, confident but not cocky. Laid back. Total gentleman, walked back to car etc. No red flags, No kids.

Arrgh.

Not had this before, had a run of crap dates and complicated men and these 2 have blown me out of the water 🙈

Vixen they both sound great. I'd say just go on second dates with them both and see what happens. After a few dates one might start to stand out a bit more than the other.

Love that sounds like hard work! Time to move on...

So I met Mr Doctor. He was lovely, we seemed to get on. Conversation was interesting and easy. But after 1.5 hours he said he had to go, said he didn't mean anything by it, but had to get home. We walked to the end of the road together, he kissed me on the cheeks and that was it! I've heard nothing since!!! WTAF?!?!

I might be reading too much into it, but I'd at least expect a quick message not long after, if only to say no. He's a bit younger than me, no kids, so quite different. I don't expect to hear from him. What annoys me most is his messages talked about getting to know each other slowly, he wanted to hold me, calling me sexy and a milf. Whilst I took it with a pinch of salt, it was flattering and of course a bit of you does wish it might be true. My gut feeling is he's a serial dater...I'm a bit gutted, but I think that's just my pride that's been hurt.

vixen - more dates required, the faults will surface and the decision may become easy!!

hmmm thats very weird from mr doctor!? 90 mins? I'm guessing it just wasnt working for him sadly :(

I've got mr RYANTS hanging off my leg...getting a bit tedious being told I'm a MILF now....

I messaged youngshy this morning - it was more than 24hrs since last contact and I wanted to return the favour the other day of him contacting me in a 'dont forget me' type of way. I sent a lame 'how's work going then?' type of message because he said he'd be really busy. He read it a while ago but no reply yet - I really dont want him to go off the boil because he looks fab on paper for me and he looks good in his pics!

I met up with Mr Sailing today. Unfortunately he was a bit odd in real life, kind of awkward. Not in a shy way, it's hard to describe but just a bit odd in his mannerisms and way of speaking. He said he'd like to do it again but I sent a polite text when I got home to say thanks for the coffee and all the best.

Vixen definitely go on at least one more date with both of them!

Tom sorry about your date. I would have found the sexy/milf talk a big turn off but it sounds like maybe he talks the talk online but doesn't actually walk the walk in real life.

Tom he called you a MILF? Had one guy call me that, he was serial dater and was actually married and cheating on his wife. Mr mountain was similar at the end of our date today, seemed to be in hurry to get away, I haven’t heard anything since but not going to worry about it. I guess you can either wait and see or you can send him a quick text and see if her replies?

Shame about Mr Sailing Vet. But at least you met him to see how it went.

I need to stop falling for the online chat. I feel so defeated right now. Looking back, it was almost like a job interview today. He's currently online on WhatsApp, probably lining up the next one. I've got a couple of other WhatsApp conversations on the go, but no plans to meet either. For my sanity I think I need to back off online dating a bit.

love I'm not going to bother contacting him. Him disappearing so quickly was pretty obvious to me. Funnily enough we discussed ghosting and I said it was cowardly. He said men maybe didn't want to hurt women's feelings!! His loss...

sorry to hear this tom, tis tough on the old ego this OLD lark :(

I know naynay. I'm in the midst of divorce and mediation so my emotions are all over the place. OLD is just an added complication right now. That's why I might stop for a while till the divorce, etc is over.

Tom onwards and upwards x

I hear ya, I'm still going through mine, if RYANTS and youngshy dont come good I think I'm done for a while too - it's been an interesting learning curve lol

Honestly, I don’t read this thread for a few hours and I end up missing loads!!

Vixen wow, that’s great! I agree with the others, date the both at least another once or twice more and see if any red flags appears - they both sound great!! Go you!

Tom - What a disappointment Mr Doctor proved to be, it’s so difficult not to fall for the online chat though isn’t it. I have WhatsApp with a vengeance - those bloody two blue ticks and seeing when they’re online!! Have to agree I’m not sure I’d like to be called MILF!

Naynay - Hope Youngshy replies soon.

I wonder if the fact that the World Cup has started that lots of these guys are going to be glued to the tv for the next few weeks and OLD will be put on the back burner?

Well, Mr Mexico hasn’t messaged me at all today - nothing at all! I mean ok, I admit he’s not for me sadly, but to have constant messages and photos for 2 weeks and then zilch after you meet them rather deflates the ego!!

Met Mr Cleavage earlier, surprisingly was better than I thought, no sparks but a nice guy and I’d see him again - he’s already asked for a second date so that’s nice.

Now I’m spending far too much time messaging and dwelling on Mr Silver who on paper is ticking all my boxes. Hopefully a date will be lined up soon and in the meantime I need to find someone else to start messaging.

Why is this all so difficult??!!

Had a lovely date with MrNorway last night. And got some news today about friends of friends who have just got engaged. They met OLD so all is not lost for us!

Just re joined POF, thought it would be fun but then I remembered how bad it is 🤣

love last time I lasted 24 hours on POF then left!!

halfdutch it's so hard when someone seems to tick so many boxes. I've decided it's much better to meet as soon as possible so you don't have unreal expectations or have built up a certain picture of them when you meet, which can lead to disappointment.

naynay hope you get some responses soon.

So Mr Doctor did finally message to say it was nice to meet me and good luck. I replied the same and suggested next time he isn't quite so flirty and forward before meeting someone, as it leads to unreal expectations. He accepted my advice and apologised. I blocked him.

I did get a message from one of my others, don't know if he has a name so it's Mr Sport. He's quite chatty but early on in our chatting admitted he didn't know when to suggest meeting. He hasn't suggested it yet!! To be fair, after two failed dates this week I'm happy to hold out a bit right now.

Tom Thanks you’re right with getting to meet someone asap. Glad Mr Doctor finally got in touch and good on your for giving him that advice! Hope all goes well with Mr Sport.

Jax Good to hear again about another successful OLD relationship, Glad Mr Norway is going well

Argh I'm getting so confused with who has got dates with whom or is that whom has got dates with who?? My brain is fried. I think I need a spreadsheet! I've had a shitty few days with family stuff and horrendous period moods and pain. Trying to give up dairy to ease my stomach issues but still as bloated as ever and very grumpy about it. Feel and look 6 months pregnant.

Hope everyone is ok and not too despondent after shitty dates. Don't know about anyone else but I'm finding my opinions of a poster's potential dates are verified when they come back with a date update and it's making me sad for them but I'm also telling myself I need to pay attention and listen to that same intuition about my own potential dates (if I ever get any). I love this thread, despite what some say about it. It's very supportive and great for that fine tuning of the gut

Kin I wouldn't mind if Mr Blue has a bit more of a badass side somewhere. He is so considerate, but I want passion. After 3 dates and lots of messages I'm flirting loads. I've done the "I'm tactile and look forward to massages" messages, but I think he's more laid back middle of month for me so I have no patience

Vixen I agree you don't need to decide, wait and see how it plays out. Also why not cyber-stalk and ask real questions?

I like to know that men I date aren't sexist or racist and usually get that in early to see reactions. Maybe one of them will show red flags over the next date.

Tom your gut says serial dater...then he's probably a serial dater. His problem, not yours. There are sadly plenty like him, seem charming and interested and drop dates without finding anything out. He's onto the next one and you are free to meet someone more genuine.

Vet I hope Mr DM is still putting effort in and that works out. I don't like uncomfortable mannerisms, it would put me off too. I would wonder if Sailor was doing it as lying and showing guilt or just very very odd

Love maybe follow a general rule e.g. ignore 10 and the 11th will be ok, I'm sure it's about that with pof. You just need 1 to be really nice amongst the sea of stinky fish .

Jax that's a lovely update. OLD can work - don't give up naynay

Evening all, have just spent the last half an hour or so trying to catch up with the thread!
Glad it's not all bad, a few crumbs of hope amongst the dross... I went to a wedding yesterday, they met online a couple of years ago and are blissfully happy

Have had a few contacts this week, one moved to whatsapp but then suddenly quiet despite appearing online on POF plenty. Mentally given him 48 hours to up his game or he gets blocked on both.
Another one asked if we could exchange numbers after a suitable amount of chat, agreed to speak after a certain time earlier. Has read but not called, I've now sent a 'scrap that I'm off to bed!'

Had a meet 'n greet this morning, will call him Mr Tennis, we'd exchanged a few messages and spoken once on the phone. Not sure our schedules would fit much dating in and he has a primary school aged child (whereas my GS starts school soon!) but figured there was no harm. Walked in the park, got pleasantly lost in a maze and didn't run out of conversation at all. No big sparks but enjoyed his company and he's asked to take me on a date. Sent a complimentary text when he got home, as taught here, I replied with a smile

Dutch yes definitely try to meet briefly for a drink early on if you can, stops too much disapointment if reality doesn't match the pre-chat. Two of my worst first dates were when first separated and long dates and I promised myself first dates would just be a drink after that, so I could escape more easily Feeling stuck miles away from transport is a rubbish feeling

Literary yes this is a great place to share highs and lows and now everyone is normal here.

Married Mr Tennis sounds friendly and maybe more could grow?
You can take your GS and he could take his DC out at the same time if it became more serious so you have possible trips out in common?

I like the idea of meet and greet first rather than a full on date. Much easier to get a sitter for a quick meet up too. Dating as a single mum is such a palaver for me as getting a sitter is difficult and no way am I getting a stranger from a childcare site to look after my DCs. My funds are very limited and as I don't drive it's public transport or a taxi. My last date set me back £25 just for taxis and one drink and was a total waste of time so definitely thinking coffee in the day somewhere instead of an evening first date.

Choc no idea re. Mr Sailor. It was slightly uncomfortable at the time but I'm not bothered, I'd only started talking to him on Thursday so wasn't invested at all.

Mr DM is still lovely, although his ongoing back issues are becoming a bit of a pain (no pun intended). I'm very active and very outdoorsy, and he usually is, but he can't do any of it at the moment. Obviously it's not his fault, and it's a lot more frustrating for him than for me, but it's still making things move more slowly than I'd ideally like. I'm not sure how much things are really progressing and I don't know how much of that is down to him feeling a bit shit physically. Happy to give it a bit more time to see what happens though.

Literary I usually say before meeting that I've got 2 hours free, even if I like a date I would tend to keep it brief as it's good to see if they are keen for more. Before Mr Blue I had 5 dates over a fortnight or so, really glad I didn't waste time waiting on any of weirdos them.

Vet is his back stopping you from spending time together?
Even with a stiff back he should be able to chat about future plans and show interest in you?