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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Dating Thread 134 - 50 Swipes of Tinder

999 replies

RunsforCake14 · 01/06/2018 19:43

Dating thread rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
Develop a thick skin.
Do not invest emotionally too soon.
It's all BS until it actually happens.
Trust your gut instinct.
People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
If it's not fun, stop.
Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:

Jaxinthebox · 15/06/2018 16:55

Thank you all, lets keep everything crossed for MrNorway

Love is this the guy who moved his dog into yours? I think you are better off without him.

HalfDutchGirl · 15/06/2018 18:40

Love oh heck sounds like youre well shot of Mr Tinder, that would have driven me round the bend too! Onwards and upwards, good personal hygiene and a good roast dinner cooker are all big positives in my book so fingers crossed for Mr Mountain!

I’ve a date with Mr Mexico tomorrow lunchtime! He’s booked a table and everything and given me all his info to pass on to my daughter as she worries about me bless her! He seems too good to be true but here’s hoping he’s not!

Sunday I’ve a date with Mr P, bit iffy about that one but it’s only a coffee in the morning. We will see!

Doesn’t sit right with me to be honest having two dates in a weekend (originally it would have been two dates in a day but I altered stuff!) but I guess that’s the way to go.

In the meantime I’m still messaging Mr Silverfox - this whole OLD stuff is such a new experience to me!!!

Hope you all have a great Friday night

TomHardysBitontheside · 15/06/2018 19:06

Love you are well rid of Mr Tinder. He sounds like he completely used you from the start. Still, you will have learnt loads from this, and won't make the same mistakes again. Fingers crossed for Mr Mountain.

Chocmallows · 15/06/2018 19:14

Evening all, good to see OLD working for some here and shame about the time wasters on OLD who should do better to meet the high standards that everyone justifiably has on here!

I feel like I have tried most dating out and now trying normal out properly. I have had many dates that seem normal suddenly go downhill, but three dates in and Mr Blue shows he is genuinely keen, not obsessive and not just after sex. Nowhere near the smitten bench as I've been on and off it too many times I've stuck it in my garage. Mr Blue is going to have to impress me over a few more weeks yet.

Good luck to everyone having dates this weekend!

Chocmallows · 15/06/2018 19:15

Don't mean I've dated every single bloke, just mean think I've seen a wide range of weirdness btw. Normal is nice 😂

Cantbelievethis123 · 15/06/2018 19:56

Hi everyone. I'm just about to leave for my first date in over 10 years with a guy I met on badoo. I feel sick. Please tell me the nerves disappear on the actual date x

Jaxinthebox · 15/06/2018 20:23

cant . take a deep breath and go for it. Wishing you an amazing date.

Nerves are good, but dont let them take over your date.

TomHardysBitontheside · 15/06/2018 20:58

Good luck cant! Hope it goes well.

Lovemusic33 · 15/06/2018 21:03

Jax yes, this is the guy who tried to move his dog in, things just got worse as it went on. His hygiene was probably the most annoying thing, when I first met him I assumed he was in his work clothes, then after a while it became clear that these were his best clothes . I’m hoping I won’t hear from him again, I have blocked him and I think I have said enough to him to make him hate me anyway.

Sorted arrangements for meeting Mr Mountain Sunday so I have something to look forward too ,even if he’s not relationship material at least it will take my mind off Mr Tinder.

Naynayba · 15/06/2018 21:11

mr tinder sounds bloody awful, yay for the guy who can cook and keep himself clean imo!!

cant - i'm not the nervous type and even i was freaking out before my first date in years the other day, you'll be fine once you get talking

LiteraryDevil1 · 15/06/2018 21:17

Can't have a great time! Tell us all later!

ValMc1 · 15/06/2018 22:33

I've just got back from my date with Mr No Name - I was really looking forward to it as our chats have been interesting, respectful and we have loads in common - there was zero attraction on my part - such a shame as it was a really relaxed and fun evening. The only thing we differed on was the fact he's a born again Christian - not my bag at all. Next.

LiteraryDevil1 · 15/06/2018 22:36

Aww val that's such a disappointment!! The born again bit would be a lot for me too. How did you leave it with him? I've only ever had one bad date and he was so vile that I just blocked him but don't know how to tell someone they aren't for me after one date. What do you say?!

Naynayba · 15/06/2018 22:52

....think i'd make a born again christian cry.

HalfDutchGirl · 15/06/2018 22:56

Val oh no how disappointing, that would be a bit of a deal breaker for me too to be honest. Onwards and upwards!

Cant Looking forward to an update on your date.

ValMc1 · 15/06/2018 23:14

Literary in fairness he wasn't OTT with it - just stated the fact. We've texted since and I told him I really enjoyed the evening (which I did) . If he asks for another date, I'll tell him the truth - friend zone only . When I met my exH there was no wow on the first date but on the second the sparks flew - but I know that won't happen with this one. Although personality is a big attraction for me there just has to be a little spark and he just didn't have it.

MargoLovebutter · 15/06/2018 23:31

That’s a shame Val but born again wouldn’t work for me either!

TomHardysBitontheside · 16/06/2018 08:21

That's a shame there's no spark for you Val. But you can't force these things.

So I finally responded to Mr Doctor last night. He'd sent yet another suggestive message in the day. I simply ignored his comments and asked him if he'd had a good day. He did reply and said he was looking forward to meeting me. I've gone back this morning and said I was looking forward to it too. However, there are still no actual plans. This all feels like too much hard work for me. I think I'm just going to block him. I need things to be easy and fun. He's really not worth the effort.

LiteraryDevil1 · 16/06/2018 08:29

I agree Tom.

Lovemusic33 · 16/06/2018 08:34

I don’t think I could date a born again Christian either. Shame there was no spark but at least you had a nice night out.

pudding21 · 16/06/2018 08:53

pssssst is it safe to come back yet :)

love been waiting for updates on Mr TindeWhat a knob.

halfdutch Mr Mexcio sounds sweet, giving you the info to pass onto your daughter. Thats nice, hope it goes well.

I am still off tinder, been seeing ex FWB a bit again, not too much, my terms mainly (not like before). Anyway it ended before Xmas because he wanted to see someone else, the arrangement always was he would tell me and vice versa if that was the case, as although we have great chemistry we both know it wouldn't have gone anywhere. Since he has been quite persistent in asking me in the last 4 weeks or so , he is a good distraction i thought why not. On Thursday he was begging to come to see me but I was knackered, periody and a bit grumpy so said I couldn't. Last night my friend was sat at the same table as him in a restaurant (the friend who actually 1st hooked us up last year) and a girl looking very mich like she is a girlfriend. I don't know if it is the same girl as before, I assumed he was single again as per our previous chats and I saw him on tinder only three weeks ago.

I haven't said anything, I will see him next weekend at a party for sure, of course I will ask him about it. I am not in the slightest bit hurt from my side (as in jealous, well maybe a teeny bit), except I trusted him not to put me in a position like that. He hasn't asked if I have been seeing anyone at all, and vice versa. I thought he would tell me, or wouldn't ask if he was seeing someone.

I guess not everyone has the same integrity. Bit pissed off as he was proving to be a good solution to distract me, have needs met and wasn't complicated.....grrrrrrr.

Got a date on Sunday with a local surfer dude, he is very funny, not sure I am going to fancy him, but I am sure he is a nice funny guy.

Have a nice weekend everyone.

Lovemusic33 · 16/06/2018 09:01

Hi Pudding , nice to see fimiliar faces here. My expereance with FWB is that they have several back ups if they are turned down. I had a FWB who is a long time friend, turned out he was messaging me asking to meet and when I said no he would message my friend and ask her, he would use exactly the same words as his text me, saying he was feeling down and needed a hug etc.. I’m still friends with him as I have known him and his family since I was at school but I no longer sleep with him or invite him over.

Good luck for your date on Sunday. At the moment I’m petrified going back to dating, that’s probably why I’m dating a old iron this weekend, I’m not ready to meet new people.

LiteraryDevil1 · 16/06/2018 09:11

Pudding it's safe I think but someone in another thread told someone needing dating advice that this wasn't a healthy place to be How rude! If she'd have been on here she might have been helped by our collective experience as someone new to OLD. Hopefully she'll join us soon.

I had a fwb too and he's been very attentive later but like you my period has prevented me going down that road at the moment. It took me a long time to get over him as was totally in love with him. I still love him dearly and unconditionally and probably always will but am not in love with him anymore. I think if I slept with him again I'd flip back far too easily into being in love and I can't go through that again. We were fwb for 3 years. He's still my best friend. There's great chemistry and I think we will always fancy each other but we wouldn't be good together romantically. I hope one day he finds someone who truly loves him like I do and is happy and fulfilled because he deserves that. We also had an agreement to tell each other if we started seeing someone and I thunk it's really shitty if your fwb yo have not told you if that's the case. I hope things turn out ok there

I sent someone a smile yesterday who was showing as online on his profile. No reply. Doesn't take long to hit the smile button does it so I'm obviously not his type. If they don't respond that day to a smile or message and they've been on the site all day then I delete them.

Original poster

RunsforCake14 · 16/06/2018 10:20

Just popping in to say hi and that if you look back you'll find Xiola's post has been removed.

I'm still not dating or even tempted to go back on the apps. Too much going on in RL. Had a nice conversation yesterday with someone who's new to the area. Not really my type but he seems friendly and we're both new to the social group I've joined so potential for a new friend.

OP posts:

Jaxinthebox · 16/06/2018 10:32

Going out tonight with MrNorway so that is my evening planned. However, he was out last night with a friend (female) who he has known for years and years, he has told me about her and it is only friendship...

I KNOW this shouldnt bother me in the slightest, but it really does. I have no idea why, well I do. Probably demons from Ex, feeling a tad insecure, new guy, but I never usually feel jealous and I think I am.

Help me deal with this because I fully realise it is my issue and I dont want to be that person at all. Then again, to trust someone so early on in a relationship is foolish isnt it?

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