Dating Thread 134 - 50 Swipes of Tinder

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Thanks to you all....too many to name check. So the talk isn't sex talk, he knows I'm not after that, but it is definitely flirty which I don't enjoy either until I've met someone. For me, you won't know if someone really does it for you until you meet.

I'm not going to mention Sunday. He asked me out so he can confirm, however if he leaves it too late I'm going to say I'm busy. He's not worth my time. Plus I'm out Saturday so likely to be hungover!

Thanks Vet and coolcahuna for the Bumble info. I'll give my month at Match a go and then I might try it. I never ever contact men on POF or Match, so maybe it would be good for me to give it a go.

Tom I'm with the others, trust your gut instincts on Mr Doctor, I don't mind a slight bit of flirting but his seems a bit much. Get a date with him asap to find out once and for all, he might be all talk and no trousers! I wouldn't give anyone my surname until I'd met them - that could open up a big can of worms!

Oooo Jax Mr Norway sounds very promising! Glad it's going so well for you!

Xiola If you're still lurking, I'm with WheelyCote and her comment

Tom you wrote the same time as me - I agree, until you meet the guy you really don't know if they're going to float your boat. Hope you're going somewhere fun Saturday night!

dutch I'm going to a gig (my friend's band is playing) with a group of friends. It's just what I need!

A problem I have with the messaging on Bumble is, because there's usually not a lot of info on the other person, it can be difficult to think of a suitable opener.

I think it's worth taking it slowly too, stop once you have a few matches as you only have 24 hours to send the first message. Personally, I can't keep too many conversations going at once!

fwiw mr doctor has my spidey senses tingling too. Granted, most men dont seem to be able to help themselves on letting you know they think you are attractive but going overboard on that, especially when they havent actually met you, to my mind isn't 'flirting', it's just a blatant attempt to push flattery buttons to hurry you into bed asap. It feels to me like mr doctor maybe has a script he's following and is progressing through - could be wrong. He's perhaps holding out re: sunday until he feels from what you feed back that you are likely to 'put out'.

I'm not anti casual sex btw, but it feels wrong when men do these ridiculously elaborate 'traps' to force women that dont want that into doing it against their will. like a slow-acting rape - you have consenting sex with them at the time when if you'd known it was only going to be a onetime thing you wouldnt have.... whoops maybe got a bit feminist there but anyway....

naynay I think you could be right. He could be following a script. He's just sent a message about an hour ago that's quite suggestive/flirty. Quite frankly I think it's dull.

What is it with these men? Why do they feel the need to bed everyone? I'm not even going to bother responding to him. The replies here are really helping me see sense.

Don't let us kill something good through cynicism! He's perhaps just got a bit carried away having got off to such a promising start; it's maybe a good hint to send by not replying to boring 'ur so fit' messages but if he does come up with a good date idea for saturday and you have a nice time it might get back on track? You just know now to keep an eye on him ;)

apologies - sunday date

What to wear on a first date to a local pub food place. Date tomorrow night at 7pm??

Bought a new top and a dress but I'm very rusty. Heels no heels?

Wheely sounds daft maybe but I always wear shoes I can walk well in but run if necessary if the weather is on your side how about some pretty sandals? I can't walk far in heels so steer clear unless I know I won't have to walk more than a few minutes. If the venue is fairly casual then I tend to go a little more dressy than I'd go normally but make sure my nails are pretty, nice jewellery and extra effort with my hair. Effort but not overly "done" if that makes sense.

Naynayba is right there, we might be a bit cynical! I'm conscious now of how cynical I am and over cautious but that's understandable after the experiences I've had. Just go with your gut, that's the best advice anyone can give or take I think.

Wheels - I always have my first date in a pub / bar (know the landlord and he keeps as eye out me!) and I wear what I feel most comfortable and good in.

So for me skinny jeans, evening casual top, mid heels. Good makeup and long hair down and tousled. And most importantly a smile. As that's what in my opinion men remember.

I agree with hair down, definitely. And of course the smile is very important. Avoid any high maintenance looks.

Wheely I tend not to dress up too much for a first date. Ideally, I go for a coffee first, but if I were going to a pub, I'd be wearing whatever I would usually wear to meet up with a girlfriend in a pub. For me that would be jeans & comfy heels with a nice top & jacket or a casual skirt and top. I definitely wouldn't wear a dress or make a big effort.

I'm sure you know this, but don't forget to tell someone where you are going and let them know when you get home safely too.

Wheely I agree with jeans, nice top and comfy heels. Can always dress up a bit more with accessories and not be too done up.

Good advice there naynay I am going NC for now. I'll reply when he says something interesting. I won't make a big deal of this. He just haven't got my attention. Once he sends a nice message and plans Sunday then we will see what happens.

wheely I go for nice top, jeans and heels/sandals on a first date. Nothing too OTT, quite casual.

Slipping back into the thread. Not back on OLD yet but single yet again after a angry break up with idiot Mr Tinder.

I have been asked to go out with a old iron this weekend ‘Mr Mountain’, went out with him the end of last summer, things didn’t work out due to his long working hours and him living quite far away. His work hours have now changed but the distance thing is still a issue. Not sure if anything will ever come of it but I need a bit of a rebound after Mr Tinder so I might take him up on his offer of going for a walk on Sunday. Also still talking to ‘Mr Rebound’ who I kind of kissed whilst still officially with Mr Tinder, he seems nice but hasn’t got the nicest looks.

I’m not sure if I’m brave enough to go back on POF, it’s been 3 months or so, I’m guessing there won’t be many new faces on there and I’m not sure if I have the head space right now to deal with texting lots of people. Maybe after the summer holidays.

I am trying to go NC with Mr Tinder, I have blocked him today after a slagging match on messenger. He’s probably one of the most selfish men I have met and I hope no one else comes across him on tinder, although he comes across very nice he is as thick as sh*t when it comes to relationships and most other things. I guess I was hoping things would improve but last weekend was the final straw when he did several things to annoy me, by Sunday morning I asked him to leave, we have talked but he hasn’t taken anything on board about why I was upset and made various excuses for his shit behaviour. So I will pick myself up and thank fuck that I’m out of it.

I did wonder what had happened with you and Mr. Tinder love, was hoping that things had been sorted out but it did seem he was a bit selfish from your initial posts. NC is the way to go and make sure that he stays blocked.

I hope your walk goes well with Mr Mountain this weekend, if you decide to go.

Minnie he drove me insane. Last weekend I had a family party to go too, I didn’t want to take him with me mainly because my family aren’t always nice and partly because he doesn’t put any effort into dressing up (I was embarrassed), instead of him going home he decided to stay at mine whilst I was out. Earlier that day he had asked if he could park his van in my parking space as it was getting dirty parked under the tree, I said ‘no’ as it’s my space and I didn’t want my car parked across the road. Anyway when I came home he had parked in my space. I was a little pissed off, things went down hill after that, he hogged the bed, couldn’t wake him or move him so I eventually got up. Took him 8 hours to realise I had gone, I was pretty pissed off by the time he actually got up (9am), I told him I wasn’t happy and that I was tired so I went upstairs to get some sleep, he thought he would cut the grass whilst I was asleep, obviously the noise meant I couldn’t sleep. By then I was really pissed off tired and angry so I kicked him out. This is all on top of the other crap he had done leading up to me having enough. Why are some men so fucking stupid? I can’t actually think of any good things he has going for him, not sure why I held on for so long, he’s probably one of the worst men I have dated.

Anyway, now I’m single again and this time I’m properly single as my divorce came through. I’m not going to dwel on the past 3 months that I have wasted hoping someone would change.

love oh gosh, he really didn't get any better. At least it is only three months and not any longer. Don't see it as wasted time... just an experience (and one you will not repeat at that).

Deffently a expereance, not one I want to repeat. I think visiting Mr Mountain will help me realise that not all men are complete idiots, although he’s not that ideal he has good personal hygiene and makes a good roast dinner 😂

love always look to the positive points haha.