Dating Thread 134 - 50 Swipes of Tinder

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

meow Noooo, can’t believe he wants to do all of that in one day!! Have you cancelled?

naynay I have those cobwebs too!! good lucky with RYANTS!

Literary good plan to let down Mr Jowls, that sounds horribly complicated and his present ‘over it’ mood could well disappear in a few weeks.

Bop It’s so difficult to remove someone when there’s a huge chemistry, I had that years back with someone, so know exactly how difficult it is, but sadly ultimately it’ll be for the best.

My OLD has suddenly got very complicated!! Good but complicated, will bore you all tomorrow!

I'm having a long and tiring night, one phone call after another but nothing that actually needs to be seen. Ugh.

Anyway, now I'm awake. After what I said the other day about not arranging dates with anyone other than Mr DiamondMine... famous last words! I got talking to someone on Bumble the day before yesterday and he seemed really nice - great photos, good write-up and funny, interesting and interested on chat. We messaged again yesterday, great conversation, and he asked if I'd like to meet up at the weekend so I said yes. I've been on quite a few dates with Mr DM now but we haven't slept together or discussed exclusivity so options are staying open for now! I'll call the new iron Mr Sailing. He's very attractive in his photos (unusual) and seems really nice so we'll see! We're meeting on Sunday for a coffee/possible beach dog walk.

meow your Saturday date sounds full on to say the least. Have you suggested just meeting for a coffee or a walk given that it's a first date? If you have and he's brushed you off to keep running away with his grand all-day plans I'd probably cancel if it were me.

Bop I agree with Literary, the first bloke sounds like a standard headfuck and needs to be ditched, but the other one, Mr Rugby, sounds a bit lovebomby. Making plans for trips away, talking about 'making a go of it' etc. when you've known someone for less than a week are classic signs. I would tread very carefully and not get carried away/overinvest. You don't really know him at all at this stage, and vice versa.

Literary good call with Mr Jowls I think, that just sounds like a whole world of hassle and complication!

Huh?

True colours indeed. How nasty.

...you!

Hmm my message didn’t work but the jist was Xiola kindly shut up as you can see nobody cares for your judgement comments - boring now. We see why your single for sure!

Has xiola been on the glue?

Another long time lurker checking in to say wtf to @Xiolablueviolet!
Your posts are like a metaphor for OLD in that you appeared quite normal at first, then started to get a little conceited then plain nasty when called out.
True colours can take some time to show, which is probably why all the long time posters on this thread recommend not putting all your eggs in one basket!
I did actually like some of your advice xiola and had hoped you would come back with a little humility, as this thread has never been a nasty one. Clearly not the case 🤷🏻‍♀️

Xiola

Hugs.
I mean that, big hugs for you

I just see someone hurting like a child that acts out when some other shit is going on in their life that they have no control of.

Whatever it is....hope it settles soon...it's bringing out a mean streak in you...whatever it is...it must be making you pretty angry.

Lashing out here, is unnecessary and will only make you feel good briefly and piss people off, who are here to support each other.

None of us have life down perfectly and that includes you. We stuff up and learn.

Your lashing out at the wrong people. Hugs for you

Wow, how charming Xiola. You might want to reflect on why being shitty to other people makes you feel good about yourself. I have a job and a car and no kids but none of that makes me an inherently better person than anyone else. If that's how you express your true attitude towards others and you believe in 'the laws of attraction' - well, then good luck with that. A high bar indeed.

Bop glad you have a distraction from MrScrewed. Just take your time though and get to know MrRugby - there's no rush!

Vet good luck with MrSailing on Sunday. How do you find Bumble? I'm wondering whether to try it or not.

I'm getting a bit bored of chats now & wanting to have an actual date! I think I'm a bit polite and chit chatty sometimes & don't move it on enough. Will have to think about how to manage that a bit more.

morning everyone. I have missed the drama on here and Im glad I did.

So... Mr Norway after the longest first date in history we had the next date which lasted until yesterday!

I feel like I have known him forever and it is so easy with him. We have talked about everything, had loads of laughs and he feels like he has known me for ages too.

My left bum cheek is on the smitten bench. By the end of this weekend I will know for sure if Im fully on or not!

Can everyone please be supportive on this thread - looking at xiola . this is the point of this thread.

Support, not judging, hand holding and advice.

Dating isnt always prescriptive - yes there are things that usually work and usually dont work, not every time though.

Lets just remember that we are all in the same boat and should be rowing together!

Oh wow Jax, that's fantastic news about MrNorway!

I'm trying hard not to get dragged into the drama, as I also think this thread should be about supporting each other. I'm hoping if I ignore it all, it will go away.

That's great news jax. And good luck for Sunday vet.

Right, I need a sense check please. Been chatting to Mr Doctor for over a week. He called on Monday and we had a nice chat. But I'm not convinced by him. We're supposed to be seeing each other on Sunday, but we haven't confirmed plans yet.

He messages every day. Mostly now his messages tell me I'm sexy, intelligent, a milf and are quite flirty. We've stopped a lot of the general chatting. I don't mind flirting but he's only seen my photos and had one conversation. I don't know his surname, he said I could have it after we meet.

So in my mind that's all a bit odd right? I don't doubt he's talking to others and having dates. That doesn't really bother me in the slightest as I'm doing the same. I am sure the date will never happen. Am I right to be concerned? I was talking to a friend who told me to just stop wasting my time. I think he's right.

I'm on Ignoring bench - don't add fuel to fires

Margo I've just got Bumble. It's so much easier than the sites with all their questions, but does mean that you don't get much info on people unless they put a bit of a bio. I'm also a bit put off by the location aspect, where it picks up your current location rather than showing where you live.

I didn't realise to start with but now realise why so many appeared to live near Heathrow! Kind of silly to say someone is close to you, when they may actually live on the other side of the world.

On the plus side, I've seen quite a lot of respectable-looking men on there. And it is the woman who sends the fist message, so you don't get bombarded with the 'hi gorgeous' messages.

Would be interested to hear what Vet says

Hmmm TomHardysBit if your gut tells you MrDoctor not quite right, it is probably worth listening too.

It's Friday now, so he needs to confirm pretty damn quick, otherwise you're going to be busy to do a date at such short notice.

You could always ask him if he's still up for meeting on Sunday & ask him to firm up the time. If you don't hear back, then you've got your answer.

TomHardy I think I'm quite old-fashioned, but I would find it odd to have someone flirting like that when you've not even met.

Margo tbh I've been sceptical about Bumble previously, no matter where I've been when I've used it there always seems to be loads of extremely good looking men on there who don't appear on POF or Tinder and quite often if I got a match and sent a message I got no reply which again doesn't happen on the other sites so I think there were/are quite a lot of fake or inactive profiles on there. That said I have chatted to a few really nice blokes on there and had a couple of dates, and now obviously have Mr Sailing lined up. I think it's worth joining - it's free so nothing to lose - but bear in mind that not all of the profiles are active/real.

Great news about Mr Norway Jax.

Tom just me but if someone I'd never met kept telling me I'm sexy or a milf (ugh!) It would give me the ick. I think it's a bit weird/creepy. Just me though, I'm a slow mover in that respect! I want someone who wants to get to know me as a person, not a sexual fantasy object, especially before they've even clapped eyes on me in person. Have you tried to firm up the plans for Sunday?

Tom I agree with you, if you had arranged to meet then why hasn't he suggested any of the finer details (times/places etc)? Just from my perspective he seems to enjoy chatting and flirting but hasn't actually made any effort in arranging an actual date. Maybe he's in it for the ego boost? I think if I were in your position I'd hold off on the flirting via texting, get a date arranged and see what he's like in person. I wonder if he doesn't want to give his surname incase you go searching for him online? To be honest I don't give out any personal details before I know someone well but in this instance and for some reason the red flags are flying for me.

Tom listen to that gut! I'd hate to be described as a milf. I find it disrespectful. He sounds a bit sleazy and after one thing from what you've said. If the general chat has disappeared and been relaxed with sex talk and flirting then I'd interpret that as he just wants a shag. Doesn't sound like long term potential.

Jax that's fab!

I also agree with what Dogz says about the location thing, I get why it works like that but it can be a bit of a pain. I live in Devon which is holiday central so there are a lot of outdoorsy/surfing/sailing blokes who are my type but who are just visiting or passing through on the way to Cornwall but actually live in Basingstoke or something.

Margo, I use Bumble and its good as noone can message you first. That said, I've had loads of people not reply.

I generally find Tinder has more traffic!

I'm chatting to someone on Tinder and we have exchanged surnames pre-date next weekend. I'm fine with that, at least we can check the other is real!